Donkey Versus TC Narelle

Who will win the battle?

Image                              cyclonedonkey-1

TC Narelle has now been reported as a Category 3 cyclone due to reach a Category 4 at 8am tomorrow morning I can exclusively reveal – well it isn’t really exclusive, in fact it is common knowledge but there is something about putting the word ‘exclusive’ in the sentence to make it sound better.

Residents in Karratha and Dampier (to name but two areas) have been told to prepare their homes for storms and winds.  Dogs have been asked to bury their bones and cats told to hide their fish, kennels have been glued to the ground although one dog with large ears has been reported flying through Dampier despite several attempts to catch him.

Donkey remains in prison (aka kennels) although a rumour has been circulating in the area that a ‘break out’ has been planned – who is involved in this is anyone’s guess but I bet if you asked one of the two ‘Sues’ they would know something about this possible ‘jail break’ but don’t ask Donkey as if he is implicated in any way, he could end up doing ‘extra time’ which could involve listening to Cliff Richard as punishment.

Donkey fans wishing to track TC Narelle can click on this link for updated information:

http://www.bom.gov.au/products/IDW60281.shtml

Serious Donkey ‘stuff’

Donkey’s tag came today, which makes it more official now that he is going to be our dog – I am really pleased with the quality, and am thinking of ordering a new one for Rocky from this company – Red Dingo Dog Tags.

Here is the photo – obviously personal details have been hidden in case female dogs become obsessive and follow him around, and start throwing their underwear at him.

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Things left to do before Donkey’s arrival

Well, we have had new fake lawn laid today as the huge concrete garden was tearing up Rocky’s paws and cutting them, and the garden is so enormous, we needed to have a soft area for him to play on, not to mention our garden was the ugliest garden in the history of gardens.  Now it looks a lot better but is still ugly in other parts but hey, we are getting there.

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65m2 of fake lawn and that is only a small piece of our garden

Now the lawn is laid, we have until Sunday to organise the sandpit – Donkey and Rocky are going to have their own designated sandpit – not one of the clam shells as it won’t be deep enough, they are going to have a bigger area and it is virtually bottomless in terms of digging.

We just need to build a perimeter around it and it is a choice between a wooden frame from Bunnings, or if we can lay bricks and build one, that would be better but probably would take too long so if any of my Perth friends have any suggestions, please message me as the sandpit is a vital part of Donkey’s training and enrichment and we need to sort it ASAP.

Toys – I shall be going to the charity shops to see if I can pick up some toys to fill up the toy box in the garden.

Kennel cushion – my husband Abdel is on the look out for a second hand kennel cushion to go in Donkey’s kennel, there is a high chance it could be chewed so we are not going for new until he settles down.

Bowls – his food bowls will be purchased this week.

Council dog registration – our local council have organised this to be posted.

Dog collar – now Donkey appears to have one huge neck – or is the photo deceptive?  Anyway, I have a selection of collars and if none of them fit, I will buy him a new one.

Vet Check – Due to a high number of cases of Parvo Virus in the Perth area, I have a vet coming round on Thursday to give Donkey a second booster which ordinarily he would have been OK but to be safe, he is going to have another C5 vaccine to boost his protection.

So that is it for now, we all just have to pray that TC Narelle doesn’t change Donkey’s plans.  Donkey has been sighted smoking and drinking in his kennel in a bid to calm his nerves, Rocky is on the phone to him regularly trying to keep his spirits up but suffice to say that Donkey is hugely concerned and when he was asked for a comment about the cyclone, he just replied ‘Narelle is a bitch for doing this’

More Donkey updates as they happen.

On a more serious note

TC Narelle is predicted to be a severe tropical cyclone with several towns on alert, and people being advised to get emergency kits ready and prepare their homes/family. It has been on the news several times this afternoon and it isn’t looking that good.

I can’t imagine how worried everyone in the area must be so I am sure I am not alone in wishing everyone in the Pilbara Region to stay safe and hope that this passes without causing too much destruction.

Stay safe everyone

Donkey causing a storm in Karratha!

Despite being in prison, (aka – kennels) Desert Dog – Donkey Dundee is still managing to cause a rumpus in Karratha and is expected to compete with Tropical Cyclone Narelle for attention in the next couple of days I can exclusively reveal.

TC Narelle is currently a Category 1 and was located at 2pm WST 790km north, northwest of Broome and is moving west at 16km per hour.

For those that are interested in tracking Narelle and may I suggest those following the Donkey Diaries follow TC Narelle religiously and even do a rain dance to the gods of garlic so that Donkey can make the flight safely to Perth, here is the tracker for TC Narelle:

http://www.cyclocane.com/narelle-storm-tracker/

If the cyclone hits Karratha there is a real chance that Donkey may not make his flight to Perth this Saturday.  This has caused so much distress with the dogs from South Beach (Freo) that are waiting to meet him that there has been threat of a canine uprising.

Now don’t laugh at this because the last uprising involved Rocky herding up several dogs into the ocean, whipping them up into a barking frenzy, one of those dogs included a senior deaf kelpie bitch who was sighted sticking two paws up to her owners when they tried to retrieve her and it was some time before I could go back to that beach as Rocky had taught them some dreadful habits.

When Donkey was asked about his thoughts on TC Narelle, he replied casually ‘Cyclone Narelle? I can fart with more power than she can blow’

Whilst we can all only pray that TC Narelle doesn’t hit Karratha or if it does, not too hard, you can bet your bottom dollar that in a kennel somewhere in Karratha, there is a medium sized dog/alpaca curled up in his kennel praying even harder so that he can begin his new life in Perth and make that home, his last one.

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Donkey praying for TC Narelle to bugger off and not ruin his plans

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Free the Karratha One – a letter from Donkey to Rocky

Rocky received a letter from Donkey in Karratha Prison (aka boarding kennels) this morning, I don’t know how he smuggled it out but he did so as quite a bit of interest is being generated in Donkey’s case and my blog from Canada, USA, Sweden, the UK and Australia, I thought it only fair that I relayed it to you all so that you know what is going on.

It appears that Donkey has caused a rumpus in prison and just when you thought his behavior couldn’t get any worse – as in food theft, ‘tasting’ of garden furniture and digging of plants, it appears that Donkey organized a Toga party in his cell and other inmates were invited.

Basically it all kicked off and involved barking, dog porn, sheets made in to toga’s, Guinness, flashing of genitals and a Cliff Richard CD to aid with constipation – if you have never hear of the Cliff Richard method to relieve constipation then may I suggest you play ‘The Millennium Prayer’ several times over and twitch at appropriate moments followed by playing ‘Wired for Sound’ afterwards and I guarantee you will crap like a man afterwards and if you are a man, then you will just lose your bowels completely.

Anyway, here is the photo that Donkey sent to Rocky and the letter – I do NOT own copyright to this photo, it was sort of ‘borrowed’ and that is all I am saying.

Karratha One

Donkey – second from the right, causing a rumpus

Dear Rocky

How are ya doin’ buddy?

As you know I was ‘sent down’ and I am ‘doing time’ in prison for food theft and ‘tasting of garden furniture’.

A bit upset I was sent to prison for it, I mean I was hungry and Pad Thai noodles are a delicacy for a desert dog like myself, we mining dogs have to be prepared to eat anything.  But anyway, I am locked up until Saturday when I will fly down to Perth and I was wondering if you had any plans for the Sunday after I arrive, I think I may have jet lag – someone said it is the same timezone but I say that is a load of old crap.

We could catch some waves and some hot bitches, I still have some testosterone left so I am sure I could get my leg over, although I do have short legs but hey, I can stand on a stool if I have to.

Do you have skimpies bars in Perth? I have frequented them all in Dampier, there is a special place called ‘Dampier Dogs Do Bones’ and I have been there a few times but some of them are mongrels but not too bad to look at.  So we can always case out the skimpies bars in Perth if you like.

They say I am going to have a bath before I make the flight, I don’t wanna smell like no poofy dog but I guess its gotta be done.

It’s scary in here, there are no food cupboards for me to break in to and no plants for me to dig up, what’s it like at your place? I hear you have a cat – what’s he like? Is he a bastard?

Better go now mate, I’ll catch ya on Saturday.

Donkey

Donkey Donations

SAFE Karratha have done a fabulous with the homing process for Donkey, their efficiency in processing the adoption and sending out the paperwork has been excellent, not to mention the support that they offer with the rehoming process.

Donkey’s stories are going to continue as Donkey becomes a part of our household, thus making up the ’3rd family member’ with Rocky and Gordon.

If you enjoy these stories and would like to donate to SAFE Karratha, their bank details are as follows:

SAFE Karratha/HQ Bank:
Account Name:
BSB Number:
Account Number: 
Commonwealth Bank 
Saving Animals From Euthanasia Inc
066-531 
101 488 05

Remember every little donation helps and if I believe that my animal stories can raise money for SAFE Karratha, then I will make them a regular feature.  Interest is already being generated in other countries – Cyprus, USA, UK so I shall make it my mission to keep writing the stories to help their cause.

All I ask, is that if you do donate, if you could reference it as ‘Donkey Dundee’ so that SAFE know who it is in relation to.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Free the ‘Karratha One’ – Donkey Update!

I only have this story second hand, for I was not there and can only relay what I was told via the ‘jungle drums’ and through heated telephone calls made by Donkey to Rocky, begging him to pay the bail to get him released, so I shall tell it as best I can.

Donkey was taken to prison (kennels) I believe yesterday, because he was left unattended with a mastiff (cross) bitch in the foster carers home and saw fit to empty the food cupboards and eat a substantial amount of Pad Thai noodles amongst other things.

Image

Donkey in his cell yesterday

He had also ‘tasted’ some garden furniture, now Rocky backs this up as he too has tasted garden furniture (and BBQ covers) and said that they all taste shit so fully understands Donkey’s desire to taste things as every dog should for the first time and even a second time, and we won’t discuss Gordon’s continuing penchant for tasting, eating and enjoying towels – even at the ripe old age of nearly 12, which he should have grown out of but hasn’t and has graduated to clothes including my bras.

Apparently there was a huge mess in the house and Donkey tried to deny it but as noodles were stuck to his beard, the evidence was clear.  Rocky had already primed him by telephone telling him to blame the ‘Alsatian dogs’ that are responsible for global canine naughtiness and have been a safe excuse for dogs all over the world but Donkey was a crap liar and couldn’t carry it off.

donkeys antics 001

Who made that mess – not Donkey!

donkeys antics 002

Donkey said it was those German Shepherds that did it!

His other crimes include corrupting the resident dog – the mastiff cross bitch and leading her astray to the point she has started to flash her genitals at anything male.

Donkey was appointed a lawyer and fully took advantage of the ‘You have the right to remain silent’ kind of rule but sort of blotted his copybook by farting at inappropriate moments.

It is thought that Donkey will spend his last week in Karratha, in the ‘prison cell’ (AKA boarding kennels) until his flight to Perth on Saturday 12th Jan, where he is expected to land at around 10.10am where he will be met with the official Donkey Welcoming Committee consisting of myself, Tori, Clara and Deidre.

If you would like to attend the welcoming committee, please let me know and we can organise a meeting point.

As for Donkey, it is thought that he has smuggled in some dog porn, a nail file, a pen and a mobile phone and a Cliff Richard CD in case he gets constipated.

In preparation for his arrival, a disk for his collar has been ordered, a new collar will be purchased next week once I know how fat his neck is, plus a new food bowl.  We have the kennel, just need a kennel cushion and a ‘camp bed’ for outside plus some toys so keep an eye out if you see anything on Gumtree and let me know.  The toys I am going to scout around the Salvo’s so he can have a full toy box by the time he arrives.

Donkey Donations

SAFE Karratha have done a fabulous with the homing process for Donkey, their efficiency in processing the adoption and sending out the paperwork has been excellent, not to mention the support that they offer with the rehoming process.

Donkey’s stories are going to continue as Donkey becomes a part of our household, thus making up the ’3rd family member’ with Rocky and Gordon.

If you enjoy these stories and would like to donate to SAFE Karratha, their bank details are as follows:

SAFE Karratha/HQ Bank:
Account Name:
BSB Number:
Account Number: 
Commonwealth Bank 
Saving Animals From Euthanasia Inc
066-531 
101 488 05

Remember every little donation helps and if I believe that my animal stories can raise money for SAFE Karratha, then I will make them a regular feature.  Interest is already being generated in other countries – Cyprus, USA, UK so I shall make it my mission to keep writing the stories to help their cause.

All I ask, is that if you do donate, if you could reference it as ‘Donkey Dundee’ so that SAFE know who it is in relation to.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Methotrexate Day – Don’t you just love it!

Well actually I don’t, in fact the night before I have my injection I normally have pretty vivid nightmares that normally involve large needles and bottles of nasty yellow looking stuff and sharps bins, not to mention exceptionally vivid memories from the previous week of the tiredness/exhaustion and inexplicable symptoms that one gets after injection oneself with Methotrexate.

It isn’t even as though it hurts, it isn’t even as though you feel it go in or that it takes a whole day, it is the fact that you know how you will feel afterwards and some of the symptoms cannot be explained and only someone that has taken it themselves will be able to understand.

However it really is a rather marvelous drug and has given me my life back in so many ways and if the price to pay is feeling shitty the day after injecting, in order to be relatively pain free and have lots of saliva then hey, I can afford to lose a day.

I don’t know about any of you Sjogrens sufferers but for me a good day is having a lot of saliva, saying that I never seem to have a lot by Friday morning for some weird reason and then by Sunday I could dribble for Australia!  But those of you that have heaps of saliva will never know how important it is and what it means to those of us with AI diseases that have our salivary flow compromised.

Each time I have a dry mouth, I can envisage the enamel on my teeth waving me to say goodbye because anyone that has lost enamel on their teeth will back me up in saying how ‘hollow’ your teeth feel and although on the surface look OK, it is like an empty shell and each day of having a dry mouth brings tooth decay and loss even closer.  I have the dentist this Monday for my 4 monthly ‘Sjogrens’ type dental check so fingers crossed there are no hidden cavities for I don’t think I can afford fillings/root canals.

So forgive me for my excitement when I have saliva courtesy of the steroids, the methotrexate and the plaquenil, because I do get absurdly excited.

‘Do you know how toxic those drugs are and have you thought about alternative remedies to boost the immune system?’ I have had said to me on so many occasions.

In short of it, yes I know EXACTLY how toxic these medicines are, but what I also know is that they help me hugely and no, I do not want my immune system boosting in any shape or form and if alternative remedies ‘boost my immune system’ then you can keep them thank you.

Anyway, it is ‘M Day’ – injection day for me and the first time I will be giving it to myself without anyone watching/supervising me and no doubt I shall draw the yellow stuff up with a sweaty and shaking hand, knowing full well it wont hurt, knowing full well I will be exhausted and feel ‘crappola’ tomorrow and also knowing that by Sunday will be my day of staring to feel ‘normal’ and then Monday becomes ‘Folic Acid Day’. (you see I have a day for everything!)

So for all of you that take your Methotrexate today, I raise my syringe to you whilst we push aside our worries and revel in the benefits of this somewhat toxic yet fabulous drug!

Cheers!

Desert dog ‘Donkey Dundee’ to get a new life in Perth

Crocodile Don-key

KARRATHA NEWS

‘Donkey’ flying high to his new home in Perth

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SAFE rescue dog ‘Donkey’ will be flying his own plane from Karratha to Perth to meet his new family; the Karratha News can report.

‘Donkey’ who is a mixed breed dog and thought to be the result of a Staffie, Kelpie, Jack Russell and Alpaca, has caught the eye of Perth resident Samantha Rose.

Image‘Donkey’ – The first ever dog related to an alpaca

When we asked Samantha what it was about Donkey that she loved so much, she replied simply “I liked him the moment I first saw his photo and feel he will be great company for my Kelpie – Rocky, plus I have never seen a dog crossed with an alpaca before”

Donkey is expected to make the flight on Saturday 12th January, flying his own plane called ‘Air Donkey’ – he is expected to be wearing those aviator special sunnies that pilots wear and will fly across the desert at great speed, where at Perth airport, will be met by his new family.

“Strewth I am bloody excited, I have heard that those dogs on the beach are pretty hot and I won’t be short of a girlfriend or two” Donkey said last night to our reporter.  It must be emphasized that Donkey does not have testicles so any relationship that he will have will be purely platonic.

209678_b0dce_340x340Donkey contemplates his new life in Perth

Donkey will be sharing his new life with a kelpie called Rocky and a large 8kg cat called Gordon who flew from the UK to Australia and thinks nothing of dominating any dog that enters his house and if necessary, swiping it on the head to put them in their place.

ImageExisting resident pets – Gordon and Rocky make their position quite clear

We wish Donkey all the success in his new home

Donkey Donations

SAFE Karratha have done a fabulous with the homing process for Donkey, their efficiency in processing the adoption and sending out the paperwork has been excellent, not to mention the support that they offer with the rehoming process.

Donkey’s stories are going to continue as Donkey becomes a part of our household, thus making up the ‘3rd family member’ with Rocky and Gordon.

If you enjoy these stories and would like to donate to SAFE Karratha, their bank details are as follows:

SAFE Karratha/HQ Bank:
Account Name:
BSB Number:
Account Number: 
Commonwealth Bank 
Saving Animals From Euthanasia Inc
066-531 
101 488 05

Remember every little donation helps and if I believe that my animal stories can raise money for SAFE Karratha, then I will make them a regular feature.  Interest is already being generated in other countries – Cyprus, USA, UK so I shall make it my mission to keep writing the stories to help their cause.

All I ask, is that if you do donate, if you could reference it as ‘Donkey Dundee’ so that SAFE know who it is in relation to.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Creative Photography by Adam Limbert (C) 2013