Stu should know that if you shake with a paw with Donkey then its ‘law’
My sincerest apologies for not updating sooner, I have had so much going on and really have not had a chance to write.
As you know, on the last update about Donkey, he was being fostered by Sue L and enjoying his life in the haulage yard in Karratha. Donkey and a guy called Stu had become firm friends and apparently had been hanging out together in the Yard, going for smoko together and discussing boys things like beer, women and AFL.
Handsome Prince or ‘HP’ as he is known, had tried in vain to pretend that Donkey meant nothing to him and was just another foster dog but something happened and I don’t know what, to make HP realise what a valuable asset Donkey is to the yard – guarding it against feral cats that wear leather jackets and are known for carrying flick knives, threatening people and being intimidating.
Quite simply, Donkey knew his worth and made sure HP did and Handsome Prince being who he is – tough on the outside and heart of gold on the inside of that rugged handsome frame, soon accepted that Donkey was going nowhere. Sue was rather pleased about this as she had grown to love Donkey and even her dog Malcolm had become friends with him and they enjoyed bin raiding together on a regular basis.
Donkey was advertised by SAFE for a new home while being fostered by Sue and because there was no interested in the deformed little (big) dog, Sue had decided that she would adopt Donkey. Strangely enough, once this had been decided, potential owners started to make enquiries about Donkey but this was short lived as the boys in the yard had threatened an uprising if Donkey left and even Malcolm promised he would go on a hunger strike for two hours if Donkey was re-homed.
So Donkey was officially adopted by Sue L and Stu was exceedingly happy about the situation, in fact all the boys were – Donkey was their mate and he enjoyed talking about the skimpies girls with the lads, Donkey even took the boys to the doggy version of the skimpies bar where local Karratha female dogs got to flash more than their dog collars to the male dogs. That in itself is a privilege because dogs have their own world and if they allow you into it, you are very lucky, I know because my dogs allow me access and I can ‘talk dog’ which is how I am able to tell you these stories. You should hear some of the stuff that I am privy to, it would make your toes curl.
Clicky Hips!
Unfortunately although Donkey’s story appears to be going well, Sue had noticed that Donkey was very stiff in his hind legs and x-rays have revealed that he has rather severe hip dysplasia and has been prescribed medication, which if that doesnt work, he may well need a hip replacement. It is a bad diagnosis for Donkey who is only young and after his adventures, has his new life in Karratha to look forward to so this is not good news at all.
One of the boys called Uncle Les, has also has hip issues and as Donkey was having his photo taken one day, Sue had brought Les a chair outside so that he could sit down. Uncle Les went to take a seat but before you could say ‘Cliff Richard’, Donkey had jumped in it and refused to move.
Uncle Les is the one on the far left in the black shirt – Donkey felt his need for the chair was greater
‘Bollocks, my need is greater than yours!’ Donkey said firmly as Sue shook her head in disbelief – she had brought that chair out for Uncle Les and now Donkey had stolen it! And that was not the only thing he had stolen, he had been sighted driving in Handsome Princes scooter down the main road in Karratha yelling his head off to the Dingos but that is another story.
Uncle Les laughed ‘Don’t worry, Donkey can have it’
Looking rather smug, Donkey remained on the chair with his legs wide apart, flashing his genitals which he was absurdly proud of because he was somewhat well endowed for his size and even the local kangaroos were jealous of his manhood.
‘You up for the skimpies tonight Donkey?’ Stu asked his little friend.
Donkey glanced up and looked thoughtful, taking a swig of his tea he replied ‘Yep, but as long as they don’t play Cliff Richard on the juke box I don’t mind’ (all dogs hate listening to Cliff Richard as it constitutes as an assault on ones ear drums).
Stu laughed and reassured Donkey that Cliff would not be playing on the juke box.
The banter carried on for a bit until Donkey was asked if he wanted to ride the road train for a trip – road trains excited Donkey, well those and Utes and forklifts of course.
‘Uncle Les?’ Donkey asked later that day.
Uncle Les patted the tatty terrier on his head ‘Yes Donkey?’
‘I didn’t mean to pinch your chair but my hips are bad too’ Donkey said, blushing somewhat.
‘That’s OK, we can have clicky hips together’ Uncle Les laughed and then leant over to straighten Donkeys collar.
‘Uncle Les?’ Donkey asked again.
‘Yes Donkey?’ Uncle Les replied.
‘Is this my real home now?’ Donkey asked, looking suddenly quite scared.
‘Yes Donkey, it is your real home’ Uncle Les smiled and gave Donkey a reassuring pat.
Desert Dogs ‘do bins’ ( middle of the night)
‘Shhhh, she will hear you!’ Malcolm (Sue’s other dog) hissed to Donkey who’s face was covered in some kind of sauce.
‘Hell man, this bin is my favourite!’ Donkey said in a muffled voice as he tried to get his head out of a baked bean can.
‘Every bin is your favourite Derro Dog’ Malcolm snorted – Derro Dog was Malcolm’s nickname for Donkey.
‘Bugger me, there is a bit of fish wrapped in tissue, that has my name on it!’ Donkey shouted.
‘Shut up, Mum will hear you!’ Malcolm tried to silence Donkey.
But eventually the temptation was too much for the normally sensible Malcolm and he tried to grab the fish and tissue from Donkey which resulted in the bin being knocked to the floor and all the rubbish falling out of it.
‘You greedy fat bastard!’ Malcolm shouted to Donkey and then added ‘Have you farted?’
(sounds of Sue getting up)
‘What the hell is going on?’ Sue demanded sleepily.
Both dogs looked as guilty as hell, Donkey had sauce on his face and paws, Malcolm had some fish and tissue on him, they stood erect, puffed out their chests and smoothed their beards in a way that only guilty dogs can.
‘Shhh, say nothing, blame the cat!’ Malcolm hissed.
‘We don’t have a cat’ Donkey replied looking confused, well that was OK they could pretend they had a cat and it would be called ‘Ginger’
Wearily picking up the rubbish and placing it back in the bin and cleaning up the mess, Sue ordered the dogs back to their beds and told them to think about what they had done and she would deal with them in the morning.
‘Have you crapped yourself?’ Malcolm wrinkled his nose in disgust as he sniffed the air.
Donkey blushed, he had indeed farted and it smelt like rotting hamsters if he did say so himself.
‘Was it worth it do you think, getting caught in the bins?’ Donkey said to Malcolm as they snuggled up into their blankets.
Malcolm was silent for a minute and then replied ‘Hell yeah!’
(sounds of both dogs snorting with laughter)
Malcolm sniffed the air – he could smell farts again.
‘Donkey, what the hell have you eaten?’ He demanded.
‘Mushrooms and baked beans from the bin and maybe some tissues’ Donkey said.
‘You are going to shit the bed before long!’ Malcolm said horrified.
‘Malcolm?’ Donkey whispered.
‘Yes Donkey?’ Malcolm said sleepily.
(sounds of silence, smells of bad stomach)
‘Bet you five bucks you can’t raid the bin in the haulage yard without HP seeing you’ Donkey said excitedly.
‘Goodnight Donkey!’ and with that, Malcolm fell asleep.
Donkey reserves the right to raid all bins!
Until next time…..
Sue and Donkey
Finally, may I just add that it takes a special kind of pet owner to adopt a dog with pre existing health problems and the fact that Sue loves him and has adopted him knowing this, well every dog deserves an owner like Sue who is prepared to stick with their pets through thick and thin – Sue, you are brilliant.
Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013
The Pigaloo Diaries 
