Dogs of War


Brutus – named after a war dog

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

An Important Meeting

Pippin Pringle had called a meeting at his house, all the Iggies, Chewy, Starbuck and Poppy, Brutus and Vader were invited.

It was a serious meeting and most of the dogs realised it except for the special ones – Brutus and Vader.

‘What on earth could be wrong? I haven’t dug the garden in ages and the hole in Mum’s bra was done by Gordon’ Brutus said fretfully.

‘Not sure but we better go, you know how cross Pippin will get if we don’t’ Vader growled back with a mouthful of tongue.

Team Pringle’s House

On arrival at Pippin’s house, the boys were greeted by Bronte who was looking strangely naked and just wearing a smart collar.

‘Hi guys, just go through’ Bronte said cheerfully.

In the lounge was Zara, Nica, Olive, Bambi, Gigi, Rocco, Cino, Pino, Bentley, Fat Harry, Poppy, Starbuck, Dash, Apollo, Soobi, Lupo, Dobby, Mako, Woody, Chewy, Fletcher, Lilly and of course Pippin and Bronte.

‘Hi everyone, what’s occurring?’ Brutus said in his deep voice.

Normally there would be squealing when Brutus and Vader arrived as the girl dogs enjoyed having bigger dogs to flirt with and they saw Brutus as an Iggy anyway as he tried to make himself as small as them.

But tonight it was a case of sensible and respectable ‘Hello boys’ and that was that.
Wanting to make a joke or fart or something, Brutus’s instinct told him not to and he kept quiet, as did Vader.

Placing his spectacles over his long snout, Pippin checked some papers and then leaned over to his laptop and saw an email from Amex in QLD giving him some long awaited info.

Taking a deep breath, Pippin announced in his ‘BBC English’ accent ‘Right everyone, most of you know why we are here except for Brutus as he was too young to come last year, we are here to pay our respects to the Anzacs and the dogs of war’

‘Dogs of war?’ Brutus whispered to Vader, ‘I didn’t know there were dogs of war’.

Vader nodded solemnly ‘Yes there were, but not too many think or remember them’.

‘As you all know there were many great dogs that served in both wars, doing brave things and serving their masters – both man and dog sacrificing their lives so that we could have our freedom’ Pippin said firmly.

Brutus who normally has the attention span of a goldfish, found himself listening to Pippin’s authoritative voice. The other Iggies sat silently and listened to what Pippin had to say.

‘These dogs were also used as moral boosters, can you imagine being away from your family and everything you love, not knowing if you were going to make it home.

‘Being in the trenches, cold, hungry and thirsty, not being able to trust anyone other than your fellow soldier, where every sound was a potential threat?’ Pippin said.

Brutus briefly thought about it, he couldn’t imagine any dog being in a war, after all he hated being outside for more than 5 minutes, let alone sleeping outside with soldiers.

‘Brutus – do you have any ideas as to how great your name is?’ Pippin barked at him.

Brutus blushed and hung his head, he had no idea he just knew it was his name (along with ‘naughty boy’)

‘I shall tell you – Pte Chad Sherrin had a dog called Brutus, he was in the 8th Battalion, Royal Australian Regiment (8 RAR) and Brutus was his first dog. Chad began as a tracking dog handler and was promoted to Sergeant while serving in the 8 RAR’. Pippin added.

‘I am named after a war dog?’ Brutus stuttered, feeling suddenly very proud indeed.
Bronte looked at the big brown gentle giant and briefly thought how unsuitable Brutus would have been as a war dog. But at the same time he looked so proud to share the same name as Brutus the war dog, that he really looked as though his chest might have expanded with pride.

‘There was also a dog called Horrie the wonder dog who was an Egyptian Terrier that made friends with Australian Soldier Pte Jim Moody in Egypt’.

‘Horrie was used as a guard dog and was really good at warning the soldiers about the enemy. Horrie survived when the troop carrier ‘Costa Rica was sunk’ while being evacuated from Grease.

‘He was also hurt by a bomb splinter in Crete. In 1942 Pte Moody was sent back to Australia where he really wanted to take Horrie with him.

This was stopped due to the quarantine laws which as you know are strict’ Pippin said to the group as they hung on to his every word.

‘Moody loved Horrie so much that he smuggled him into Australia in a canvas bag that had wooden slats in it so Horrie could breathe otherwise he would have surely suffocated.

‘He smuggled him in, really?’ Olive gasped as Zara gripped Olives paw while listening in awe.

‘In 1945 Moody found out about smuggling Horrie when they realised that Horrie had been smuggled in illegally and they told Moody that Horrie had to be put to sleep’ Pippin growled.

‘But he was a wonder dog, why did they want to destroy him?’ Brutus stuttered, clearly getting upset about Horrie the wonder dog.

‘Because he should have gone through quarantine’ Pippin said firmly.

‘But you can’t shoot a war hero?’ Vader barked and the other Iggies agreed with him.

‘After being told that Horrie had to be put to sleep, Moody found another dog and gave it to the authorities instead, tricking them into thinking it was Horrie, except it wasn’t and the other dog was shot instead of Horrie’ Pippin barked.

‘What happened then?’ Zara cried, she was easily upset at these stories and Nica was now patting her shoulder.

‘Horrie the wonder dog lived the rest of his life in some rural part of Victoria’ Pippin finished.

‘Dogs have been involved in wars and battles all over the world, they are the unsung heroes of the animal kingdom, and let us not forget the military horses as well.

‘I can’t go into every war dog but those are just two examples of canine bravery. Dogs that kept their masters safe, gave company and affection in times of dangerous conflict when everything around them was hostile’ Pippin sighed.

‘And for Pte Moody to risk everything to smuggle Horrie the wonder dog back into Australia shows how much love and respect he had for Horrie’ Pippin said as he removed his spectacles, puffed on them and cleaned the lenses.

The other Iggies were silent, none of them knew what to say but suddenly they felt very grateful for the likes of war dogs Brutus and Horrie the wonder dog.

‘Here is a poem that was written by Horrie the wonder dog, it is jolly nice if I admit’

Horrie the Wog-Dog by Ion L. Idriess
Written from the diary of Private VX13091 J. B. Moody, A.I.F. in 1945

“The Wog-dog blossomed into a war-dog as if by magic, despite the fact that we long since had ceased to wonder at his instinct and intelligence and adaptability.

He knew the whistle of bullets,
the whine of shells,
the scream of a bomb,
he knew exactly what to do.
In a moment he could act at some sudden alarm;
he knew at any time what was doing and was intelligently
ready to take his place at the right time and in the right way.

The Wog-dog grew very dear to all of us”

Madam Gigi, Nica and Bronte were now crying. The other Iggies were trying not to cry and Brutus who had never experienced such emotional pain purely from a story, did not know what to do, what to think or how to react.

He did however, know that he was hurting inside but it was completely alien to him.

‘So you see everyone, whilst our humans honour our brave Anzacs, we shall also honour the dogs of war and if you would like to take a minute to pay your respects, I shall get Rocco to do the honours – Rocco, if you don’t mind?’ Pippin said.

‘Good on you lad’ Fat Harry whispered to Rocco as he walked up to Pippin.

Madam Gigi had no idea as to what Rocco was going to do, she could only hope that he would be sensible.

Without saying another word, Rocco took the microphone that Pippin had given him and in a calm, well spoken and deep voice, he started to speak and without any effort, commanded the silence and the respect of every dog in the room.

‘They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them – Lest we forget’

(Ode by English poet and writer Laurence Binyon)

One by one each and every dog repeated ‘Lest we forget’.

‘That – is MY brother!’ Madam Gigi nodded her head so vigorously as she wiped the tears that fell down her pointy snout. ‘My brother, he is MY brother’.

Brutus who had kept his giant head down through the whole thing had realised that he couldn’t be funny, he couldnt make jokes because he felt too upset, grateful, heart bursting with pride to be an Australian dog.

He might not be a pedigree dog or the smartest dog on the block, but if pride could make him a pedigree – then at that precise moment he would be purebred.

‘Are you OK Brutus?’ Gigi asked him kindly while still wiping her eyes.

Brutus didn’t answer, he turned his head away and replied quietly ‘Yes, yes Gigi, I am fine – thank you for asking’.

But if you looked ever so closely at his face, you would have seen tears pouring down his face as the big dog fought and failed to not cry.

‘Leave him to me’ Pippin said to Gigi.

Later on

Pippin had taken Brutus aside to see if he was OK. There was nothing like a dogs first Anzac memorial and Brutus had not been to last years one.

‘Are you OK Brutus?’ Pippin asked him.

‘Yes, I am just so upset at the dogs of war and how brave Brutus and Horrie the wonder dog were and all the other war dogs’ Brutus sobbed to Pippin.

Not used to seeing the big dog show so much emotion, Pippin hugged him.

‘Pippin?’ Brutus sniffed and then noisily blew his nose on Pippins handkerchief that he had handed him.

‘Yes Brutus’ Pippin replied, making a mental note to throw the handkerchief away.

‘We won’t forget the dogs of war will we?’ Brutus asked him.

‘No Brutus, while just one of us remembers, then they will be remembered’ Pippin nodded firmly to him.

‘Lest we forget?’ Brutus asked Pippin.

‘Yes Brutus, Lest we forget’ Pippin said quietly.

To every soldier, to every war dog that served this great country and sacrificed their lives so that we could have our freedom – we thank you.

Lest we forget

Samantha, Brutus, Rocky and Gordon

Source for the War dog story – I have taken and adapted the text taken from the link below and all credit goes to the original author. Please take a moment to go on to the link as it is an incredible read.

Dogs Do Lunch



Chewy – all dressed up for the party!

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

When it comes to dog lovers, one thing that is abundantly clear and that is there certainly seems to be a market to cater for those of us that are mad about our dogs in terms of toys, clothes and anything pet related.

The latest thing to pop up in the suburbs are pet cafes that are aimed specifically for your dog, of course you are welcome to join but primarily they will cater for your dog and if you are lucky, there will be something nice for you on the menu as well.

Such cafes will sell a wide selection of clothes, treats, collars, leashes and toys, the food menu will have delights such as lasagna, biscuits and even custom-made birthday cakes – all made from healthy dog friendly ingredients.

Having never been to one of these doggy/pet cafes before, I had often wondered what they would be like to visit and had kind of assumed it would be good food for the dogs and distinctly below average food for the humans.

As far as scenery goes I could not even begin to guess how they would make a dog cafe so comfortable that the humans would want to frequent it too often.

Two of Brutus’s friends Cino and Starbuck were holding a joint birthday party at a dog cafe in Perth and Brutus had been invited and was pretty excited about the whole thing.

The venue was Furbaby Boutique and Cafe in Perth, Western Australia and although the other dogs in the gang had been before, Brutus and I had not.

The Furbaby Boutique and Cafe opened in Perth on Friday 26th December 2014 so as you can see it hasn’t been open that long but judging by how busy they are getting, you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise.

Starbuck and Cino’s birthday party – here is the guest list (sorry if I have missed anyone)

  • Cino
  • Apollo
  • Starbuck
  • Fletcher
  • Pippin
  • Bronte
  • Brutus
  • Poppy
  • Chewy
  • Woody
  • Lilly
  • Nora
  • Ciccio
  • Dash
  • Lupo
  • Nica
  • Dobby
  • Mako
  • Soobi
  • Rocco
  • Madam Gigi

The Day of the Party

Brutus was over excited at the thought of his first visit to the Furbaby cafe and was up super early to smooth down his whiskers and make himself smart for the event. He kept grabbing my car keys in an attempt to hurry me up and annoyed Rocky so much that Rocky had to hump his head in order to shut him up.

Rocky as you know is not good with other dogs and the amount of dogs going would be too much for him but that did not stop him feeling a bit left out and I had to heavily bribe him with a bone when I got back.

Brutus was so impatient that before I had even started the car he was asking if we were there yet.

‘We are going to Pippin Pringle’s house and getting a lift with Denise’ I told him firmly.

Brutus was to sit in the front with me in the foot-well while Pippin and Bronte sat in the back.

‘Pippin Pringle! I love him so much, I am SO excited, did I tell you I am excited?’ shouted Brutus.

‘I had gathered that Brutus’ I laughed as I drove out of the garden to start our journey.

11136679_819249808163067_7001234356011479789_nAre we there yet Mum?

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

At Team Pringle’s House

On arrival at Pippin and Bronte’s house, we were welcomed by the fierce barks of the Italian greyhounds that sound like ‘Bup Bup’ kind of noise (ask Denise, she knows what I mean).

‘Brutus, is that you?’ Pippin shouted, absurdly excited that his giant friend had come round to his home.

‘Of course it is him silly, who else is that big in our gang?’ said Bronte impatiently.  It was true, there was no mistaking Brutus who resembled a small pony from behind the slats of the fence.

Brutus grinned as Pippin jumped all over him while Bronte felt a burning need to run around the garden and show Brutus her latest outfit in flirtatious fashion before taking a pee in the sand like a real lady.

‘Very nice Bronte’ Brutus blushed approvingly and then asked Pippin ‘I am so excited about today, we are going to have such fun, do they really do doggy food especially for dogs?’

‘Oh yes, they have doggy cakes, lasagna and everything!’ Pippin grinned and as Brutus drooled in festoons from his mouth, Pippin went on to tell him just how delicious the food at Furbaby’s is.

‘Come on kids, let’s get in the car’ Denise said firmly to the three dogs, ‘Pippin – you are in the back with Bronte and Brutus is in the front with Sam’.

Pippin looked mortified and also aware that he didn’t want to look like a wuss in front of his pal Brutus, blushed like the posh kid being told off in front of his mates.

‘But, but I always sit in the front’ Pippin faltered and then bit his lip to stop himself going ‘Full Pringle’ and bursting in to tears.

‘Brutus can sit in the back with me’ Bronte giggled.

‘No, he sits in the front.  Now Pippin get in the back now!’ Denise instructed him.

With his pointy snout virtually touching his chest, Pippin’s face went bright red as he tried hard to think about doggy lasagna to stop himself crying and looking like a girl.

‘Sorry’ Brutus mouthed to Pippin as he hung his head in shame while Denise securely fastened in his harness.

‘That’s OK’ Pippin mumbled.  Had it been anyone else Pippin would be sobbing by now but as it was Brutus, he had an image to keep up.

On Arrival at the Furbaby Boutique and Cafe

We were the first there from our group and I must say I was pretty impressed with what I saw.  The place was clean, tidy, bright and welcoming.

We had hired the ‘VID’ (Very Important Dog) area which was a secure fenced off Alfresco area especially for private functions.

In the public cafe area it was also lovely to see dogs on the leash as not all dogs like having other dogs running up to them and it was a delight to see owners having their dogs beside them enjoying their own treats.

Dog Cafes – through the eyes and mind of your dog

Enough of a human point of view, let us take a trip into the Furbaby cafe from the eyes of the dogs because it is far more fun.

The staff welcomed us as we walked into the shop part of the cafe and advised Denise and myself that the VID area would be opened at 10am for our group but in the meantime we could sit in the public area or browse the shop and as I had my heart set on buying something for Brutus, Denise and I decided to browse.

Everything you could want for your dog was on offer, collars, leashes, harnesses, clothes, even capes and a Batman costume to name but a few, toys, treats, bedding – the list goes on.

‘Mum, are you going to buy me some toys?’ Brutus shouted excitedly as Pippin and Bronte were eying up various items of clothing.  Although they have a wardrobe to rival Gucci but we shall say no more on that.

I had been keeping my eye on a Harley Davidson cap for Brutus and at first was not sure if the large size would fit him but as he has a strange shaped head, a large would have to do.  Having seen Francesca’s Iggy – Zara wearing hers, I was convinced it would be perfect for Brutus.

Carefully placing it on his head, I stood back to admire Brutus.  With a large snout like well nourished leather, deep red/brown eyes, I thought he looked very nice in his hat.

‘Are you serious, I am NOT wearing that!’ Brutus cried while blushing furiously as Pippin snorted with laughter.

‘Oh my god you SO look like an extra from the Village People!’ Pippin barked while Bronte was a little more mischievous and started singing and dancing to ‘YMCA’.

10404852_844892512248829_1231344596190812741_nBrutus in his Harley Davidson cap – ‘Don’t make me wear it Mum’

(Photograph by Denise Pringle)

‘If you buy me this I shall never speak to you again’ Brutus threatened.

‘Hello there big boy!’ A small but chunky Jack Russell with large genitals smirked at Brutus and then winked at him.

‘Thank you I will take it!’ I smiled and dragged a reluctant Brutus to the counter to pay for the hat as the girls in the shop admired him wearing it.

‘My life is over, totally over, I may as well be dead’ Brutus howled as I paid for the hat.

But the dramatics were short-lived as when he was led outside to the VID area and Poppy the Chinese crested who had arrived, saw him and told him how handsome he looked. Brutus decided that perhaps he did not look too bad at all and started to wear the hat ‘like a boss’.


Poppy admires Brutus – wearing it like a boss

(Photograph by Tanya Bennett)

The Social Set of Dogs

If you ever get the chance, observe your dog when he/she greets his friends because if you listen carefully then you will be privilege to their social lives and that is what it is – a privilege.

Anyway, a few of us were now in the VID area that we had reserved, Brutus and Poppy were catching up and discussing food.  Totally beside himself Brutus simply could not decide what to have from the menu.  I hadn’t told him that I was not ordering dog stuff for him and that he would be sharing my breakfast as the slightest change in his diet can turn him into gastro-pup and I know he can tolerate a small bit of sausage and some gluten-free bread.

‘I shan’t eat much, I have to watch my figure you know’ Poppy said pointedly to Brutus who totally missed the hint, ‘I said I have to watch my figure you know, I am SO fat’ Poppy added in a loud voice and then fretfully grabbed a leaf from the ground and started to eat it as if to prove a point.

Poppy stared at her slender non-existent belly and waited for Brutus to say ‘Oh you are not fat, you are just perfect’ but Brutus has never been one to ‘talk female’ and just didn’t take the hint.

It was down to Pippin to sharply elbow Brutus in the ribs before he got the gist of the conversation and stuttered ‘Oh no Poppy, you are perfect the way you are’ while Bronte nodded her head quickly in agreement.  After all it is a girl solidarity thing that they must all agree on the weight issue and throw in the obligatory placating comments.

Satisfied that she was absolutely perfect, Poppy happily trotted off to talk to Madam Gigi about the latest in glitter collar designs.

Suddenly the gate to the VID area opened and standing there like Danny De Vito on a power trip was Chewy.  A big dog in a little dogs clothing, Chewy stood there in all of his red hairy glory whilst proudly sporting a purple patterned tie.

Waiting for a few seconds until everyone had seen him, Chew barked loudly ‘I am here, you can relax now!’

11096433_10152811819433317_9032761375785145492_nChewy –  his beautiful coat makes an entrance before he does

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Chewy darling! You are here!’ Poppy cried and then went to air-kiss him and tell him how marvellous he was.  Brutus was a little more restrained and offered Chewy is back in case Chewy wanted to hump him.

Pretty soon everyone had arrived and the party was underway.  The humans had ordered food for their pets and for themselves and I was in for a surprise when my food arrived.

Having ordered a cooked breakfast, I can tell you it was delicious.  The presentation was great, there was enough food at a reasonable price and the food itself was tasty so what more could you want?

The amusing thing about ordering food from a dog cafe is that whatever you may have ordered for your dogs, they also believe what you have ordered for yourself is theirs by rights.

‘Is that my bacon and sausage on that plate?’ Brutus asked and before I could answer, Pippin and Mako had gathered round and had made claims of ownership to my bacon.  I had managed to eat a good part of it while fending the dogs off but as I had promised Brutus some of my bacon, then I had to honour it of course.

Unfortunately, according to Pippin and Mako by promising Brutus some bacon, I had promised them by default.


Is that bacon I can taste in your mouth?

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Brutus, stand still – I need to get that bacon’ Pippin said firmly and then in one swift agile movement, Pippin had jumped on top of Brutus’s back like a mountain goat, using him as a step-ladder to lean over the table for a piece of MY bacon.

‘It’s my turn Pippin!’ Dash appeared from nowhere growling impatiently as Brutus stood there while the two Iggies attempted to stand on his back – there certainly was room on him for both of them.  Standing as still as he possibly could like a good boy, Brutus allowed the Iggies to use him as a chair

‘Thanks Brutus’ Pippin grinned as he jumped down with a piece of bacon in his mouth and some ketchup on his pointy snout.

‘Yeah thanks Brutus’ Dash added and then ran off before Starbuck could nip his bottom for having legs long enough to even jump on top of Brutus in the first place.

Despite having Iggies use him as a platform for food opportunities, Brutus was checking out the remainder of the bacon on the plate while trying very hard not to drool because he wanted some so badly.

‘Here you go Brutus’ I smiled at him and gave him a large slice of bacon from my plate just in time for Starbuck to jump up and snatch it from his mouth and run off with it with Poppy in hot pursuit yelling to ‘not be so bloody greedy’.

Looking as though someone had bashed him, Brutus stared at me with a confused expression on his face and said ‘Where did my bacon go?’.


Brutus – where did my bacon go?

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

It was a good job I had some more but we had to be quick about it as there were a few pointy snouts including Pippin Pringle’s, hanging around ready to take advantage of Brutus and rob him of it.

Dogs squabbling between them and then hiding under/behind Brutus for protection

As with any doggy function there is often a bit of squabbling over toys, leaves, invisible stuff.  Dogs get tired and burst into tears and bitches get tired of dogs sniffing their bums and will snap back to put them in their place.

‘Will you leave my bum alone, I have told you several times before that you can’t sniff it until I say so!’ Bronte growled at Dash.

Meanwhile Nica absolutely did not want to play rough and tumble with the others on the floor and had insisted that she was carried around everywhere to be petted by each and every person at the table who told her how gorgeous she looked.

Woody with his stealth like ability to get woman’s perfume all over him by loaning himself out to every female at the table, had totally exhausted himself and had lost count as to who he had cuddled and who he hadn’t.

Dobby, Olive and Soobi were chasing each other round the table and looked like something out of a Benny Hill sketch as Soobi ran after the girls and tripped over his own legs.

Mako was on his Mum’s knee whilst admiring Brutus and was involved in some mutual jowl washing.  Brutus was simply delighting the fact that the little Iggy was happy to have Brutus clean his snout and vice versa, although Brutus’s tongue was almost longer than Mako’s head.


Mako blesses Brutus with a mighty paw

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Soobi was a bit obsessed with Mako and wanted to play a professional game of ‘Bitey Face’ and was quite relentless in his mission to do so.

‘If you don’t leave me alone I shall get cross!’ Mako yelled and then tried to look tough which was not happening as the moment was totally ruined because Brutus washed the anger off Mako’s face like a wet face cloth.

As the dogs squabbled between them, they used Brutus to their full advantage by hiding under him, behind him and even on top of him.  Rocco even suggested that Brutus could be made into a giant Iggy that they could use for camouflage if ever they needed to hide.

The significance of humping

Soobi had decided to hump everything and was quite proud of himself because he had started one big humping-train which is where dogs all jostle for pack position and it is rarely sexual, except in Pippin Pringle’s case and he loves boy dogs but that is another story.

‘Will you keep still Brutus!’ Soobi barked at the big brown dog who had even lowered his head so that Soobi could reach it to hump it.

Like a child full of sugar, Soobi spoke fast and in excited fashion as clumsily tried to hump Brutus’s head which probably weighed more than he did.

Dash had mounted Soobi’s bottom and at the end of Dash was Chewy looking mighty fine in his ‘pantaloons’ and a purple tie around his neck.  It was a humping-train and there was no other word for it and Brutus’s head was at one end and Chewy’s bottom at the other.

‘It’s called Going Roman’ Pippin said confidently to Poppy the Chinese crested who was shaking her beautiful head in horror while Bronte just looked utterly bored with the whole thing as she had to watch Pippin do it at every Iggy meet and often with his invisible friends in the garden.

‘They are just showing off as they have longer legs than me’ Starbucks said fretfully and then gobbled up a bit of lettuce she found on the floor.

There was nothing we owners could do except to watch and laugh of course, because it really was that funny.


Let’s talk about ‘going Roman’ 

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Of course the staff at Furbaby are privy to this kind of stuff every day.  I am sure that they ‘speak dog’ and get to see rowdy dogs enjoying their birthday parties and getting a bit raucous.  They just took it all in their stride which is just as well for what I saw next.

It was one of those moments where I was not taking notice of anything, just observing the dogs all enjoying themselves and ‘partying’.  I happened to glance round to the door to the kitchen where the staff come out with a plate of food when I saw Dash come running out behind them – completely unseen by anyone except for me.

He looked quite pumped and proud of himself and just blended in between whoever was walking out of the door and then he ran off and hid behind the table with ‘guilt’ written all over his face.

‘Did you see that? Dash has just come out of the kitchen!’ I yelled to everyone.  All eyes were on Dash who was no blushing and shrugging his shoulders while mouthing ‘Who me? Don’t know what you are talking about’.


Brutus knows why Dash was in the kitchen – but he ain’t telling!

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Nobody knows to this day how long Dash had been in the kitchen, or if the staff saw him, or what he got up to.  No-one except for the other Iggies and they have taken a vow of silence to protect their own.

But rumours have it and I don’t know who started them, that in the time that Dash was in the kitchen, he ate like a King, vomited like Nica and ate it like Brutus.  Others say that ‘Dash was here – 2015’ was scraped on the wall by the food cupboard in the kitchen, but how true that is, is anyone’s guess.

Anyway, when the Iggies had got bored with playing with each other, they decided that Brutus would make a very good toy and they would all play with him instead.  Because Brutus is so big and doesn’t know his own strength, he has to stay on the leash which is often hard for him as he would love to play with the Iggies off the leash.

Brutus and Dash were enjoying each others company as they had formed a ‘brotherhood’ kind of thing or you could say ‘bro-mance’ and it was wonderful to watch.

‘I love you bro, seriously I totally love you’ Dash said to Brutus as he hugged him.

‘Love you back man, you are my bro, can you teach me to cock my leg like a big boy?’ Brutus replied.

‘Honoured man, totally honoured’ Dash barked and carried on hugging him.  It was their moment and I just had to photograph it.


Dash and Brutus – ‘Bro-mance’

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘It’s my turn to play with Brutus!’ Mako shouted, followed by Soobi who had already started to play ‘bitey face’ on Brutus’s flappy jowls.

Brutus was so happy, he loves his friends and doesn’t feel quite so ‘special’ when they all include him.


Brutus loves his friends

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Like a little child that is unable to play with the other kids, he will stare wistfully at the other dogs, longing to play with them. He doesn’t mean to be clumsy and uncoordinated and can’t help his appearance.

People have crossed the road to avoid him because of how he looks but he really is a very kind and gentle, submissive male with a tendency to make himself as small as possible to fit in with his group.

So having all of these Iggies pay him attention made his heart burst with pride, well except for Soobi humping his head and that was just embarrassing for Brutus as only Rocky is allowed to do that, even if he does have to stand on a plant pot in order to do it with his bad hips clicking like fingers.

Rocky on macbook

Rocky – the main humper of Brutus

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

The arrival of the cake – dogs all excited and squealing for cake

The arrival of the birthday cake caused a huge amount of excitement with Nica threatening to vomit up whatever she ate purely to show off.

‘Oh my god, it’s doggy birthday cake! ‘ Brutus gasped and then added ‘It is amazing, look Mum, look at the cake!’.

I had no heart to tell him that he wouldn’t be getting an actual piece but he could have one of the biscuit bones on the top of it.


Doggy birthday cake – enough for all!

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Wagging tails circling around like the propellers of a helicopter, bums wriggling, happy dogs all excited at the thought of a piece of the magnificent cake that was put in front of them.  Each and every dog thought that the cake was there just for them.

‘I do believe that is all mine’ Rocco said firmly.

‘In your dreams, it is mine’ Poppy snapped at him.

‘I beg to differ here, Chewy and I have decided to share that’ Starbuck said under her breath.


Starbuck – that cake is mine!

(Photograph by Sam Rose – 2014)

‘Excuse me, but I am the one with the iPad and the mobile phone collection, it is mine!’ Pippin shouted, his eyes threatening to cry at the thought of him not getting the lions share of the cake.

Well none of the dogs need have worried as there was not only more than enough to go round but plenty leftover as well for other dogs.

Soobi, Olive, Lilly, Dobby, Ciccio, Woody, Apollo, Fletcher, Nora, Dobby and Lupo were enjoying a bit of a food fight and had started to throw bits of sponge at one another.

‘Excuse me, but could you not throw sponge at my coat!’ Chewy barked angrily.  Being very proud of his coat, there was nothing worse than cream and sponge once it had set.

‘Oh not to worry Chewy, I can get that out for you’ Poppy said happily and then started to clean bits of sponge from Chewy’s coat.

‘This is the best day ever!’ Brutus said to me.  With some tomato sauce still on his face and some crumbs from the bone shaped biscuit from the cake, I have never seen him look so happy.

Rocco and his outbursts

Rocco who as you know struggles with what I can only describe as doggy Tourettes, had  been trying ever so hard to keep his outbursts under control.

IMG_9290Rocco – argues with himself

(Photograph by Sam Rose – 2014)

Having previously had some bitter fights with his invisible friends and fights that involved dreadful language and growling, Rocco had promised himself that for this birthday party he would be a good boy.

But as we all know Rocco, his potty mouth sometimes gets the better of him, especially if he gets tired.

It was all going very well as Rocco was being carried around the venue and sat happily in his Mums arms while being taken round to say ‘hello’ to everyone.

‘Good afternoon, very pleased to meet you’ Rocco said politely to every person and every Iggy that he greeted.

‘Bloody hell, what has happened to him?’ Bronte whispered to Pippin who had stopped humping his invisible friend and stared at Rocco.

‘How has your day been?’ Rocco asked each dog/person and nodded sweetly like a gentle old man.  Even Gigi and Nica stopped talking about dog clothes and stared at him as though he had two heads or something.

‘That is not Rocco, it can’t be – someone has swapped him’ Woody said to Fletch who looked just as confused.

‘Why are you talking like Prince William?’ Olive demanded.

‘I am NOT talking like Prince William’ Rocco replied indignantly.

‘Oh my god, you so are! He is SO talking like Prince William!’ Olive squeaked loudly.

‘No I am not, I am trying to be polite and talk in the Queens English, you should try it some time’ Rocco said in a hurt voice and then sat in his Mums arms looking as though his pride had been punched.

‘He will never be able to keep this up, no way’ Pippin whispered to Brutus.

‘Five bucks says he can’ Brutus challenged Pippin.

‘You’re on – so say goodbye to your money Brutus’ Pippin laughed.

Girls – you just can’t understand them

Poppy who has told Brutus off a few times for ‘getting a bit fresh’ had decided that at the party, she was going to claim him for herself and was shamelessly flirting with him.  It was not one sided either as Brutus had developed a crush on her quite some time ago and had a few of her Facebook photographs saved in his kennel.

‘Brutus, do you like my feathering on my tail and ears?’ Poppy giggled and then walked right up to his snout to invite him to sniff her face.

Brutus still blushes if girls flirt directly with him but was aware that Pippin, Cino, Dash, Apollo and Woody were all staring at him in admiration and giving him the ‘thumbs up’ and shouting ‘Go on my son!’.

Rocco was pretending not to care and was still wearing his sensible expression which occasionally was betrayed by his facial muscles twitching as he fought to swallow the swear words that threatened to escape from his mouth.

Suddenly Poppy spotted a bit of food on the floor and went to get it and Starbuck also saw it and felt that she too should have it.

‘Give that back to me, I saw it first!’ Poppy growled as Starbuck replied ‘No way, it is MINE!’.

Suddenly both dogs were arguing over the tiniest bit of food as Starbuck jumped on top of Poppy and called her a ‘bitch’ and threatened to pull her hair while Poppy squealed back and said ‘You are so fat, you don’t need that food!’.

As quickly as it started it all ended and both girls were separated as Starbuck was carried off sobbing to her Mum ‘Mum, am I really fat?’ and no amount of placating could convince her that she wasn’t and she would go on the Bonio Diet right away.

Poppy sat on her Mum’s knee crying ‘I saw it first and I need it the most’ as Brutus stared at her sympathetically and vowed to wash her tears away later.

‘Women’ Pippin sighed at Rocco, ‘I just don’t understand them Rocco’.

Rocco who had witnessed the whole thing, replied ‘Jolly right old chap’ and then rested his head on his Mums arms while Gigi choked on her ‘pup-o-cino’ at Rocco sounding more like Prince William by the second.


Chewy and the boys just don’t get women

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Waste not want not

Soon the argument between the girls was forgotten and food was back in the minds of the dogs – if it ever disappeared in the first place.

Brutus had a piece of my mushroom and in his usual disgusting style, he had chewed the mushroom in his mouth a few times and then spat it out on the floor and before I had chance to pick it up, Starbuck was back on the scene and quickly ate it.  ‘Waste not want not’ She nodded firmly as the other dogs all nodded in agreement.

I pee, you pee, we all pee – the laws of dog urination

Part of the fun of any dog gathering is the opportunity to cock the leg or squat and generally spread ones piss around the venue.

Furbaby are really on the ball with this and full cleaning facilities are available to owners to clean up after their pets but it seems the more you clean up their pee, the bigger the challenge to do another one.

‘If you piss on that wall, I shall piss on it and then you will be sorry’ Mako said to Apollo.

‘Yeah, and if you piss on my piss, I shall piss on your piss and then it will be YOU who is sorry’ Apollo growled back.

‘I shall piss until there is no more piss in my body and even then, I shall do invisible piss’ Pippin added to the conversation and to prove a point, he tried to empty his already empty bladder to show to Mako and Apollo that he could piss with the best of them.

‘I can beat that’ Bronte grinned and squatted to make her mark, she was shortly followed by Starbuck and Poppy while Gigi and Nica decided that they could not be bothered and sat with Lilly to discuss how rude it all was.

But I guess we shall never understand the delights of the doggy urination club and how marvellous it must be for them to leave their ‘perfume/aftershave’ for another dog that says ‘I was here’ or simply ‘Piss off’.

Welcome back Rocco

‘I think it was a jolly nice day today’ Said Pippin his ‘BBC English’ type accent, ‘I declare it a total success’.

‘I declare Dash getting into the kitchen unnoticed an even bigger success’ Apollo and Ciccio laughed.

Fletch and Woody were still in heated discussions as to whether or not they too could get into the kitchen while little Mako said he much preferred to stand on Brutus’s back for bacon.


The dogs declare the day a success

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Rocco who was on the floor and circling round looking for a good spot to pee had caught the attention of Dash.

‘Rocco, now you are speaking like Prince William, would you like to give a Royal speech?’ Dash asked Rocco with a big grin on his face.

Looking up at Dash, Rocco puffed his chest up and took a deep breath and replied in a posh voice ‘Bollocks, that is all I have to say on the matter’ and then started to attack his invisible friend and call it a ‘bastard’.

‘I guess I owe you five bucks’ Brutus laughed to Pippin.

‘I guess you do’ Pippin replied smugly.

‘Rocco is back’ Bronte laughed to Gigi who smiled happily and one by one, the dogs all clapped because Rocco being posh, is just not Rocco at all.

Home Time

Soon it was time to go home and the sound of high-pitched Iggy voices filled the air. The female dogs air-kissed and Gigi could be heard saying ‘Catch up soon darling’ to Nica.

Olive was using ‘teen-talk’ to Bronte and saying things like ‘Oh my god, that is SO totes adorbs’ and ‘Snap Chat me’.

The boys shuffled around and looked uncomfortable at the thought of going back to their respective homes. After all, who wants to leave the party when they have had so much fun and games?

‘I don’t want to go home’ Brutus said in a sulky voice as he looked around at the leftover cake, puddles of urine that had lovingly been forced out of every dogs bladder – just to prove they had been there, a bit like the doggy version of graffiti I suppose.

‘Nor do I’ Apollo sighed.

‘We have internet, we could all chat about it tonight and discuss the days events!’ Olive piped up.

‘That’s true’ Fletch said and the others all nodded their heads.

Then as if by magic they all remembered the marvels of modern technology, Facebook and Skype and realised that they could easily meet up that night in Cyber land.

The Iggies happily wagged their tails as their owners clipped their leashes to their collars or picked them up to be carried to their cars.

Brutus always gets jealous of the Iggies that get carried to their cars and would dearly love me to carry him but we all know that will never happen – not at 29 kgs and a pile of long legs anyway.

‘Mum, can you carry me to the car like the other Iggies?’ Brutus cried and then pointed his head in the direction of Rocco who was being held by his Mum.

‘No Brutus, you are too big to be carried’ I told him firmly.

‘So not fair, I can’t help it if I am big – stop picking on me because I am big’ Brutus grumbled under his breath and started to purposely drag his feet to the gate in protest like a naughty toddler, causing his nails to scrape on the concrete.

And soon the VID area was empty with the only trace of our party being the doggy graffiti in the form of pee on every post and that my friends; in dog language screams ‘The Italian Greyhound Club of Western Australia were here and we loved it’.

The End

Thanks and Acknowledgements

Thank you to Cino and Starbuck’s owners for the wonderful birthday party and inviting us all and to Furbaby Boutique and Cafe in Perth for such a fabulous venue, excellent staff and great food and hospitality and of course that lovely cake.

Copyright (C) Samantha Rose May 2015

The Adrenal Insufficiency ‘Banking System’ and ‘Steroid Debt’

Having just been recently diagnosed with steroid induced secondary adrenal insufficiency, I have been struggling to come to terms with the symptoms that come with the long name.

The doctor said he has no idea as to whether or not it is permanent but rather bluntly warned me how hard it is to wean off when you take the drug for your auto immune disease.

Not to mention having to balance the risk of flares from my connective tissue disease when trying to wean which will hinder the tapering off the drug. I will say that for me personally, Adrenal Insufficiency is harder to deal with than my auto immune disease and recently I have started to compare it to a banking system and before you think I am nuts, please read on and humor me.

The Bank of Adrenal Glands

I have my daily quota of hydrocortisone that I take at various intervals throughout the day and if I have a particularly bad/hard/strenuous day and don’t stress-dose; then I end up in deficit – to my adrenal glands.

By this I mean paying the price of muscle weakness, joint pains, confusion, exhaustion and dizziness to name but a few things. So when I take my hydrocortisone the next morning, I still feel like I ‘owe’ my body from the day before and can’t quite get on top of the steroid ‘debt’ and it takes me a while to catch up.

I went to Pilates yesterday which I found exceptionally difficult as I felt dizzy, had chest pains, weak muscles and it got to the point that I had to stress dose halfway through the class.

There I lay like a beached whale on the ground while everyone else was doing marvelous things with their legs and arms and I had to just do random movements because I could not keep up and looked as though I had restless arm/leg syndrome with the feeble movements that I struggled to do.

To make matters worse, this morning I had overslept through my alarm and was an hour late for my steroids.  I was woken up by my husband telling me that I had overslept and was over an hour late with my drugs.

It was one of those moments where I woke up nauseous, very lightheaded, heavy arms and legs and felt so dizzy that I couldn’t get out of bed and had to fumble around my bedside cabinet for my steroids and then wait until they had decided to work.

I could almost hear my adrenals shouting ‘You are SO going to pay for this’ while personally assuring me that the rest of my body would be heavily involved in the assault.

Now I feel like I am ‘further in debt’ to my body and kind of owe it more hydrocortisone and like any other ‘lender’, the interest is mounting up on it as well.

That my friends is my ‘Bank of Hydrocortisone’ and it is a ruthless banker let me tell you and it knows no boundaries in terms of hounding you until you pay up.

Better go as I have a debt to pay in terms of 4mgs of steroids and my adrenal glands are waiting (impatiently).

Help and Support

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright April 2015

The Fastest Dog in Australia 2015 – First Heats


Pippin Pringle talks to Gordon about lure coursing

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Firstly I would like to apologise in the delay of the Toppa in QLD story, I am halfway through that but have had a few personal things going on. Toppa has done very well in QLD in the show ring and his testicles are the talk of the town but that is another story and I shall get that finished as soon as I possibly can.

The Fastest Dog in Australia Heats 2015

This years contest is bigger than last year and the following clubs are now also competing which is fantastic news.

Adelaide Lure Coursing and Lure Racing are taking part as are the Yarra Valley Whippet Social Racing Club, Victoria so four states are competing this year.  So come on Northern Territory, I have made up stories for your crocs, dingoes and kangaroos but having your dogs on board would be fabulous!

The Big Day Arrives

It was Good Friday and the day for lure coursing and the first set of heats for West Coast Dog Sports for the Fastest Dog in Australia for 2015.

It was also being held at a new venue – Dogs West Show Grounds in Southern River, instead of our usual Kings Meadow Polo Grounds site which was actually quite nice for a change although some of the dogs were a bit nervous about having their routine changed – well Brutus in particular.

‘Will the grass be as nice?’ Brutus sobbed to me that morning as I got him ready, he was panicking at the slightest change and for Brutus; another venue may as well mean the end of his big brown world. IMG_0054

Poor old Brutus – doesn’t take much to confuse him!

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Did you just ask if the grass would be as nice, did you just really ask that?’ Rocky demanded in amusement. IMG_0276

What did you just say? said Rocky

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Vader told me that the grass on the South of the River is brown and the grass in the Polo Club is a nice green colour and if we run on different grass then our legs will fall off’ Brutus protested.

He quite liked his legs and really did not want them to fall off. Rocky bit his lip to avoid responding but Gordon who had no such self-restraint muttered stuff about Brutus falling from the idiot tree and banging his head on every branch as he fell down. J6

Gordon can give a dirty look that shrivels grown men

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Don’t worry Brutus, you will not lose your legs’ I reassured him and gave Gordon a dirty look which was totally wasted as he was washing his bum and ignoring me.

‘Good luck Brutus!’ Rocky waved to us as we pulled out of the driveway.

Brutus pressed his face up against the car window leaving nose art smeared on the glass and waved back at Rocky until he disappeared out of sight.

‘Are we there yet?’ Brutus demanded as we got on to the main road.

‘No Brutus, we are not there yet’ I replied. ‘Have you farted?’ I demanded to him as I smelt the familiar smell of ‘gastro-pup’ fill the car.

Sniffing his own bum Brutus then looked at me and said flatly ‘Yes, I have’.

And with that reply I had could say nothing.

On arrival at the lure coursing grounds (Dogs West)

The Italian Greyhound gazebo was already set up with several of our group already settled.  The first dog we saw was Chewy who was full of excitement at what the day had to offer him.

‘Hi Brutus, how’s it going?’ Chewy grinned to Brutus.  Wearing his finest pants (pantaloons), Chewy the Tibetan, looked quite splendid in all his ‘smallness’ and for such a small dog, exuded presence that demanded that your admiration.

When Chewy runs down the track his sole aim is to get you to admire his coat, the fact that he looks uber cute as he runs is a bonus. IMG_0356

Chewy – the big dog in a little body with cute pants

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Hi Chewy, have you seen Vader – he came with his Mum and Dad and Tess in their car?’ Brutus asked nervously.

‘Nope, he isn’t here yet’ Chewy replied and then stuffed his nose up Poppy’s bum to see where she had been.

Deciding to have a look around to see who was there, Brutus left the Iggy camp and went for a walk.

Sighting the Mouse Norris the greyhound who was there with her sister Barbie and some other greyhounds, Brutus went over to say hello to them.

Mouse is officially head of ‘The Cool Gang’ and always does cool stuff like travelling, kayaking and just going everywhere and anywhere including riding in her own trailer at the back of her Mums bike.

Someone said that Mouse actually has her own passport and has been around the world but that is just a rumour although it wouldn’t surprise me. 10517584_662020460552670_2824292422610396961_n

Brutus and Mouse Norris in the early days of their friendship

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Hi Mouse!’ Brutus shouted.  At one point Mouse would have ignored such a strange-looking dog but Brutus had been on the circuit enough to have proven himself and Mouse now greeted him like one of her cool gang.

Nodding at him and smiling, Mouse replied ‘Hi Brutus, good luck for today!’ while Barbie looked round and gave him the paws-up symbol for good luck.

Brutus was absurdly pleased and tried to look ‘cool’ at such an acknowledgement. As he walked off, he turned round and smiled back at Mouse and at the same time tripped over a blade of grass but thankfully nobody saw it except for a chunky looking Pug that snorted with laughter but everyone else thought that was just his breathing and totally ignored him.

Team Pringle

Brutus was now back in the Iggy section and Vader had arrived with his sister Tess who was air-kissing Woody and Hamish and telling them how marvellous it was to see them. 10641229_10152780218323317_2720869455981626668_n

Brutus and Pippin discuss race tactics

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘It felt wrong us not being in the car together this morning’ Vader whispered to Brutus who agreed with him, although it was for the best as three dogs in the car and three humans would be far too much even by Brutus’s standards.

‘Haven’t seen you in years, shall we chew each others jowls?’ Vader asked Brutus who obliged by cleaning Vader’s mouth which caused Tess to wrinkle up her snout in disgust at such a public display of snot exchange. 10256912_638694072885309_8121693479915909382_n

Brutus and Vader – Jowl lickers forever

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Pippin was busy on his iPad trying to liaise with Nica and Zara who had gone with their Mums down South for the Easter break. He wanted to find out how things were going down there and so that he could give Nica all the updates and although they were on holiday; the girls were still expected to keep up with the lure coursing gossip. 11065898_10152780095983317_4961539582172621579_n

Pippin trying to organise everyone

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Rocco and Madam Gigi were also absent as were Olive and Bambi and several of the others so the Iggy contingent were pretty thin on the ground although Woody made up for it with his stealth like ability to get on the knees of everyone that he met and would come off smelling of various perfumes from intense cuddle and petting sessions.

Brutus got quite excited at the little Dachshund and almost asked for its mobile number until Poppy told him that he was in fact a boy, not that it bothered Brutus as Pippin told him little things like that don’t matter.

‘Did your Mum get you that?  I would SO love one of those’ Poppy the Chinese Crested gushed at Bronte who was showing off her beautiful collar that Dee Cole (The Canine Company) had hand-made for her.  Pippin also has one – ‘Fifty Shades of Pippin’.

‘Yes she did and she has ordered me some other clothes as well’ Bronte said confidently. Bronte had the best wardrobe for miles only rivalled by that of Tess, with a rich selection of dresses, skirts, tops and collars to name but a few.


The latest on the catwalk – according to Bronte

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

In fact rumours had it that even the top fashion designers from Paris, New York and Rome would come to Bronte’s house for ideas for Paris Fashion Week and consult with the tiny Italian greyhound about ‘what is hot’ and ‘what is not’ in the world of Iggies.

‘Do you like my pants?’ Chewy barked loudly, feeling a bit left out; he wanted to direct the conversation towards himself to show off his ‘pantaloons’ which looked just like the baggy Arabic dance pants and very good they looked too.

‘I wouldn’t mind a pair of pants like that’ Brutus nodded approvingly and then asked Vader for his opinion on Chewy’s pants. ‘I could shit in those and Mum would never know, how much fun that would be!’ Vader replied momentarily excited at the thought of having some pants to store turd in.  He could use them as weapons to flick over the fence to hit next doors cat, now that would be fun.

‘Please excuse my brother, he is quite revolting’ Tess sighed and then went back to discussing joint issues and the benefits of supplements with Woody. IMG_7905

There are two Woody’s in Tess’s life – here is the toy one

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Millie the border collie, Poppy and Bronte were busy looking through some samples of dog collars and clothes. ‘I wouldn’t mind one of those collars’ Millie said pointedly at her Mum who must have overheard as the next minute she was rifling through the box looking for something to order her.

‘I wish my Mum would buy me one of those collars, I tried a Hugh Hefner style collar on at the last event and thought I looked quite mature for my age’ Brutus said wistfully to Vader who giggled as the words ‘mature’ and ‘Brutus’ simply did not go in the same sentence.

‘My Mum said there is no point in wasting one on me, she reckons I would break it in seconds’ Vader laughed truthfully.

Brutus just hung his head and said nothing.  He thought he looked jolly nice in the collar he tried on and would have loved one for himself but a new collar was certainly not on my priority list for him when I had other things to think about financially.

The Cloth Dogs and the ‘Crate of Barks’

You have all read about what I describe as ‘The Cloth Dogs’ which are Kim and Ian Cross’s Afghan hounds. I use the term ‘Cloth Dog’ as when they run down the track they look like a piece of silk cloth floating along the grass and the image can be very suddenly ruined when they decide to roll in horse shit which although hilarious to watch, must take ages to get out of the fur.

One of the Cloth Dogs is called Eugene and he also plays the piano and enjoys a bit of 70s dancing but once again, that is another story. 603870_10152780096713317_6197082827611651898_n

Eugene – The Cloth Dog

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Eugene like Rocco, Bentley and Sting the Italian greyhounds, suffers a bit of Tourette’s and is prone to outbursts of bad language and insults and can always be heard from his crate yelling stuff to other dogs as they go by.

Today was no different and surrounded by his wives, Eugene was absolutely furious at every dog that had the audacity to walk past his crate.

Eugene has a strong foreign accent that gets harder to understand the angrier he gets and when he is in his crate with his wives, it can get quite heated.  The crate I might add is known as ‘The Crate of Barks’.

‘Your Mumma she eat turd for her breakfast!’ Eugene yelled in broken English to a couple of Ridgebacks that walked by while Lucy – one of Eugene’s wives giggled behind him and hid behind her fringe for anonymity .

‘Your Mumma she lick the cats bottom!’ shouted a grizzled looking dog in a fake Italian accent back to Eugene while a group of Weimaraners looked horrified at such words and shook their heads in horror. (dogs will often talk in fake foreign accents purely for effect)

All you could hear was the exchange of angry words between the grizzled dog and Eugene with stuff like ‘Your Mumma she did this’ and ‘Your Mumma she did that’ and my personal favourite ‘Your Mumma has a snout like my Mumma’s anus!’.

‘I eat your family for breakfast!’ growled Eugene and then whispered to his wives in the crate ‘You girls can bark as well and make it sound scary’.

‘This is the bad-ass crate for the bad dogs, you are in my hood now!’ the angry Afghan barked.

‘Yeah, I could eat you for breakfast you big fat hairball!’ squealed a Jack Russell Terrier who looked a bit like Danny De Vito, ‘I have contacts you know and I could snap you like a twig!’

‘You have been watching too many movies little dog, I shit things out of my bum bigger than you’ Eugene barked.

‘I will come back with my friends’ spluttered the Jack Russell angrily and then realised that he hadn’t actually brought any friends and would have to round-up some invisible ones instead.

‘And that man-bun on the top of your head makes you look like a hairy sumo girl!’ snarled the Jack Russell which caused Eugene to stop yelling and ask Lucy if he really did look like a hairy sumo girl.

‘I don’t look like a girl do I?’ Eugene asked her. Lucy flicked her fringe dramatically and replied soothingly ‘Just ignore him, he is jealous’.

‘Big fat hairy sumo girl!’ barked the Jack Russell and then started to flash Eugene his bum to antagonise him.

The thing is with little dogs, the smaller they are the bigger that they think they are and the more you reprimand them and hold them back, the more they say ‘Let me at it, I shall eat him alive’ – even if the dog is the size of a small snack, it simply won’t stop them thinking how big and tough they are.

Just as it was about to all kick off, Brutus walked past with Millie and grinned at Eugene ‘Hi Eugene, how’s it going?’

‘Piss off and don’t ruin my moment’ Eugene growled harshly at Brutus.

‘He is such a kidder, he is a teddy bear really, I love him’ Brutus said confidently to Millie (Brutus loves everyone and thinks everyone loves him which is not strictly true).

‘I am not so sure about that Brutus’ Millie said nervously as Eugene flipped Brutus the bird through the bars of his crate and gave a flick of his ‘man bun’ which is the hair on top of his head all pinned up so that it doesn’t get knotted.

Leaving Eugene and his wives to defend his ‘crate of growls’, Brutus and Millie made their way to the sausage sizzle because Millie wanted to give Brutus a lesson in how to vacuum off a sausage from the counter in one easy step while ignoring the onions.

Millie I should add, was an expert in this as she had already inhaled her human brothers cheese and salad wrap from the table leaving no evidence except for a bit of cheese on her black and white snout.


Millie the border collie and expert inhaler of food

(Photograph by Studio Joy)

A Hot Dog Affair

‘So you see what you do is to pretend you are asleep but have the sausage firmly set in your sights and when your parents are not looking you quickly lean up with your head to the side and inhale the sausage’.  Millie whispered to Brutus.

‘But watch you don’t choke on it and always run away and eat the evidence so they can pin nothing on you and never eat the onions as they are poisonous’ Millie added confidently.

Brutus was taking on board everything Millie told him but then he realised that we never actually have sausages in our house so he would have to try something else.  He briefly wondered if hash browns would be as good but if he swallowed one of those whole he would end up with a triangular shape in his throat (or so I can imagine).

Bundy – The Town Crier and Brutus The Good Boy

You all know Bundy the fluffy Samoyed otherwise known as the Town Crier, he announces everything and anything and nothing but does so with such passion and enthusiasm that the title cannot possibly be removed from him.

Bundy and Brutus have become good friends after Bundy came to Brutus’s birthday party and the boys always enjoy catching up. IMG_8830

Brutus and Bundy – the Town Crier

(Photography by Sam Rose)

Dogs have been known to watch Bundy to see what he has to say and even clap afterwards despite his speeches making no sense whatsoever.  Bundy is what you might call the Martin Luther King of the dog world when it comes to giving speeches.

‘Here I am everyone, I am here, I am there and I am everywhere!’ Bundy barked to everyone that would listen and anyone that wouldn’t.

‘Race for your lives, race for your families, race for the world and then spread the word that lure is the cure!’ Bundy barked hysterically working himself up to fever pitch. A small crowd of dogs had gathered round Bundy who was totally not stopping for breath.

One husky wagged his tail enthusiastically, proud to be part of such a gathering while Millie and Brutus had left the sausage sizzle and had joined Bundy to hear what he had to say.

‘Brutus you must go back to Team Pringle at the Iggy stand at once!’ Bundy barked in a firm voice. ‘Yes, you must go at once’ the Husky added to the instruction and then every dog in the area had added their part ‘You must go at once’ until it became so loud that ignoring it was simply not an option.

‘Goodness what on earth could this be about?’ Brutus asked Millie who shrugged her shoulders as she had no idea at all.

‘Your Mumma eat the shoe off my foot!’ Eugene shouted from his ‘Cage of Barks’ and as Brutus and Millie walked by he added ‘Go to Team Pringle at once!’ followed by ‘Your father eat mouldy socks for tea’ while a tough looking Dachshund standing next to him did a ‘cut throat’ sign with his paw for effect and nodded so vigorously that his head nearly fell off.

‘What have I done wrong? I only washed Pippin’s genitals once and I haven’t chewed Mum’s bras in ages’ Brutus thought nervously.  He had been a good boy, or at least he thought he had.

It was very important  for Brutus to be a ‘good boy’ and it had got to the stage where Dee Cole and the Iggy crew had even awarded him a certificate for a pretend ‘Good Boy Award’ because it meant so much to him.

On arrival at the Team Pringle tent, Pippin was holding court to the group who were all whispering and nodding and doing the usual stuff that is indicative of gossip.


Pippin Pringle calls the meeting

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Shhh, here he is!’ Bronte hissed to Pippin who blushed and then picked up a piece of paper with a speech written down on it.

‘Oh I can’t wait for this one!’ Woody grinned to Vader who was now trying to persuade his tongue to get back into his mouth and stop interrupting.

‘Can I stand next to Brutus so that he can sniff my bum?’ Poppy the Chinese Crested asked Pippin who frowned at her and told her to remember her manners. Tess had no such self-control and was flashing her pink paws and tidy bottom at Brutus who was so scared of what was to come that he never even noticed.

Chewy, Millie and Taia sat impatiently waiting for the announcement and Bronte was whispering stuff in Pippin’s ear as he went through what was written on the paper.

‘What’s going on? What have I done?’ Brutus asked Pippin who had put his half rimmed spectacles on (with no glass on them but they make him look smarter) to read the speech.

‘Sit down Brutus please’ Pippin ordered the big brown gentle giant who was so nervous that his bottom had started to have a party all by itself by farting.

Wrinkling her delicate nose, Poppy said ‘What on earth is that smell?’

Vader whispered ‘He has farted, we always fart when we are nervous – it is a medical condition you know.

‘Right, let’s get started!’ Pippin coughed to clear his throat and then clapped his skinny paws together to get everyone’s attention.

‘We – the Iggies and honorary Iggies would like to award you The Good Boy Award for being a good boy and would very much like you to have this collar – hand-made by Dee Cole (The Canine Company) which means you are officially a Good Boy and an honorary Iggy’ Pippin said proudly.

‘But Rocco said that the Good Boy Award was just made up to keep me happy’ Brutus faltered, blushing and trying to make himself small as everyone was staring at him.

‘Yes that may well be so but you are OUR Good Boy, and you protect us Iggies and have become part of our little group so that makes the award official’ Pippin added.

‘And Dee Cole, Kim Cross and Denise Pringle say you are a Good Boy, so does Fran Forbes in QLD and all the others in the Iggie club say it so it must be true’ Bronte said in a tearful voice, (she always gets emotional at speeches and has been known to thank everyone including the Queen, Gucci, Prada and her Mum).

Looking down at the beautiful hand-made leather collar, Brutus examined it closely and admired the soft leather and the gold patterns on it.  It really was gorgeous and it was the Hugh Hefner collar that he had tried on and had always wanted but never thought he would have.

‘I don’t know what to say’ Brutus said quietly as he did his famous Brutus-expression with his bottom lip hanging down like a coin slot.

‘Well you could try it on for starters!’ Chewy laughed at the big brown dog who was going red and clearly about to go ‘Full Pippin’ and burst into tears.

*Pippin Pringle is prone to bursting into tears when he is tired or emotional – hence the term ‘Full Pippin*

‘I shall help you put it on’ Tess said gently to Brutus and then stood on her little white hind legs as Brutus bowed his head down to have his Good Boy Collar placed on his neck and it fitted him very well I might add and made him look very handsome. 11107735_10152780219063317_6938734160774915211_n

Pippin presents Brutus with his ‘Good Boy Collar Award’

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Speech! Speech!’ Bronte and Millie squealed together as Woody, Tess and the others all started to join in with a slow and deliberate clap of paws.

‘I do feel like you are my family really and I know that you are all smarter than me and I am a bit clumsy but I do love you all and would like to thank you for my lovely collar’ Brutus stuttered as he tried to find his words and not quite knowing what to do next; he farted and then turned round and checked his bum for stains.

‘Good lad!’ Vader said with his voice full of pride as Tess poked him to be quiet,

‘And I know that I am not a pedigree or a show dog but winning The Good Boy Collar Award means so much to me’ unable to find the words to say anything else, Brutus was so overcome with emotion, that he hung his big boofy head down and couldn’t think of what else to say as he took little gasps of breath while trying not to cry as tears poured down his brown cheeks. 11129350_10152780217533317_1478480799006317683_n

Brutus displays his collar and tries to stand like a show dog

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Here’s to Brutus the Good boy!’ Eugene shouted from outside the Iggy tent as the other dogs clapped and cheered. Having dragged his Mum Kim down to the Iggy camp.  Eugene was wearing his 70s flared pants and still proudly sporting his ‘man-bun’ above his head.

Not used to seeing Brutus show so much emotion, Pippin decided that a diversion was in order to get things back on track and to save the big brown dog from further embarrassment.

‘Come on you lot, rumours have it that Brutus and Vader are going to be called for their first trial for the Fastest Dog in Australia contest, so let’s get these boys ready!’ Pippin shouted to his team.

Standing there wearing his ‘Good Boy Collar’, Brutus stared round at his friends.  They were all smiling at him and wagging their tails.

Even Eugene had stopped his bout of Tourette’s and was wagging his big fluffy tail in response, but don’t be fooled by that – he was back to swearing and shouting ‘Your Mumma eat turd for breakfast’ a few minutes later.

‘My friends – they are all my friends and I love them’ Brutus thought to himself and remembering just a year ago when he first went lure coursing and hadn’t met the Iggies, now he could not imagine his life without them in it.

And let us not forget Vader, his trusty ‘special’ mate that body slams him, that engages in mutual cleaning of the jowl flaps and enjoys bad habits with, now that is a friendship that is truly special.

The Fastest Dog in Australia – Brutus and Vader do their bit

‘Oh god I am nervous, what do I do, where do I run?’ Brutus cried as Lexie took his leash – she was going to release him and I would catch him at the other end.

This time he had to go through narrow timing gates to get a precise timing for the competition. ‘You know what to do, you have done it before and however you do I am proud of you’ I reassured the trembling dog who just a week before had been laid up with gastro due to some dodgy kangaroo meat.

Making my way down to the other end I nervously bit my lip waiting for him to be released. ‘Is that Brutus, who normally crashes the barrier?’ laughed the lure operator and feeling my cheeks burn, I said that yes it was.  (Brutus can’t turn corners you see and just thinks it is easier to crash the barriers).

Within seconds Lexie had released him, the lure had been set off and Brutus shot forward with his mates cheering him on shouting ‘Go on Turd Legs, you can do it!’.

He ran so well and was right on the lure and totally ignored me – he was fixed on it like a good boy.  Usually he looks for his Mum (me) but this time he knew what he had to chase and was hell-bent on getting it.

Vader stood at the side waiting his turn and shouted ‘Go on Brutus, you can do it!’ in between choking on his tongue and farting with nerves and excitement.

Brutus I must add; has a fabulous imagination and each time he runs he has the ‘Chariots of Fire’ theme tune in his head as he imagines he is running is own Grand National.

Although you and I both know that he is running alone chasing a plastic bag on a lure, in Brutus’s eyes he is a professional racing dog. FD6

Brutus taking his turn for the Fastest Dog in Australia competition

(Photograph by Studio Joy)

He has been known to get so emotional that he cries down the track and imagines people cheering him and congratulating him for ‘winning his race’.

I am not one for ruining his dreams as we are all entitled to those but I do get fed up with the Chariots of Fire theme tune though that Brutus insisted on playing in the car on the way down to get him in the mood.

I was very proud of him though as this was a new venue and Brutus ran straight through the timing barriers like a champion and in true Brutus style ran straight past me and then came back for me to put his leash on. FD8

Brutus going through the timing gates at the finish

(Photograph by Studio Joy)

‘Did I win? Did I win?’ Brutus panted and as usual I did not have the heart to tell him that it was more a timing thing than a race and that he wasn’t racing against anyone but let him enjoy his moment all the same.

Then it was Vader’s turn and in a true Jowls of Fire event, Vader, his tongue and his jowls flapped their way down the track in a flurry of snot as the chunky boxer dog also ran like a champ.

Being a total pro at turning corners, Vader was only mildly disappointed that there were none there but did very well all the same.

The dogs were all watching Vader while chanting the Chariots of Fire theme tune which sounded hilarious if you can imagine a gang of dogs shouting ‘Da da da da da da, da da da da da, da da da da da da, da da da da da’ (I bet you have just sung it yourselves haven’t you!)

‘Look at that tongue!’ Bundy shouted and then started to bark frantically to announce the arrival of Vader’s tongue. Vader 2

Vader – (Jowls of Fire) does his heat in the Fastest Dog in Australia competition

‘Go on flappy jowls!’ the Irish terrier growled in support as he did like to cheer on the other dogs and was a passionate lure courser himself.

Vader thundered over the finish line to be met by his mates who all congratulated him for his effort.

‘Proud of you Vader, you did well.  Where is your tongue?’ Brutus asked his friend.

Opening his mouth, Vader displayed his enormous tongue and said ‘I think it is here’.

‘Good, now keep it tucked inside safe before someone mistakes it for a Christmas ham’ Brutus told him as both boys walked back towards the Iggy tent while trying to talk over one another as to who ran the fastest and it was decided that Vader’s tongue won by a metre. 10551075_683596318395084_4256826329900557973_n

Never underestimate the power of Vader’s tongue

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Bundy has his turn

As Bundy took his turn to run it was soon realised that there was no-one to announce it so Bundy decided to do it himself.

‘I am running now, lock up your families and feed your children, I am about to set the grass on fire’ Bundy barked to everyone.

He got so excited that he actually almost pulled his Mum round the wrong way and nearly ran in the wrong direction. ‘Let me at it, where is that lure?’ Bundy demanded angrily.

‘It’s behind you, if you run in that direction you shall end up in the ladies toilets!’ Eugene barked while Lucy his wife tried not to laugh.

‘I knew that, I totally knew that’ Bundy said in an embarrassed voice before his Mum had managed to turn him in the right direction.

‘And he is off!’ Eugene nodded approvingly as Bundy set off like a cotton ball shot out of a cannon as he chased after the lure while continuing to bark and announce himself to the world. 10401947_1633567683539045_2585048158794137530_n

Bundy the Cotton-Cannonball takes his turn in the contest

(Photograph by Studio Joy)

The importance of friendships – both real and invisible

I have said before that every dog has an invisible friend for the days when there is no-one else to fight or argue or play with and the power of these invisible friendships should never be underestimated.

If you look around the grounds at any doggy event be it a dog show, agility or lure coursing, you will see dogs playing with their invisible friends.  You will see dogs barking at nothing – except that it isn’t nothing, it is their invisible friend.

You will see tails wagging at nothing in particular but what you won’t see is the invisible dog that is inciting that reaction.  It really is a marvellous phenomenon, not to mention the fact that when your dog does something naughty in the home, the invisible dogs are always to blame.

Anyway back to lure coursing where one dog was having a fight with his invisible friend over the lure and threatening to bite him.  Growls and barks filled the air as the terrier insulted his invisible friend and threatened to piss on his head until his owners came and got him for his turn to race and then it was ‘game on’ as the little dog ran its legs off. 11115714_1633571233538690_1237426702309039608_n

All dogs have invisible friends you know

(Photograph by Studio Joy)

A beautiful chocolate colour kelpie called Bruiser didn’t appear to have any invisible friends.  It was his first time at lure coursing and he was busy taking in the atmosphere while trying to work out who was what and whether or not Bundy was a sheep that needed to be herded up. 18489_10152780096273317_2704418740714725084_n

Bruiser the Kelpie‘s first time at lure coursing

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Hi, the name is Brutus’ Brutus barked at Bruiser the kelpie and offered his bum to be sniffed as a greeting which Bruiser did quite happily.

‘You look just like my brother Rocky except you are chocolate colour’ Brutus said in his special voice – he is a bit of a Forrest Gump is my Brutus.

‘Pleased to meet you’ Bruiser grinned, ‘So, tell me what all this lure coursing is about then’.

‘Well, it’s like this…..’  Brutus started to say.  As the two boys sat side by side, Brutus patiently explained to Bruiser about how lure coursing is a sport for both dogs and their owners to enjoy, a day out for everyone and a display of  fitness and endurance.

Not just limited to Australia, lure coursing is also popular in many countries around the world and the day is made extra nice if you can scrounge some treats from your Mum/Dad.

As quickly as Bruiser thought he had come to the event with no friends, he had made a new one in Brutus, Vader and the rest of the gang.  That is how it is at lure coursing you see, you are never without a friend for long be it invisible or real.

Bronte and Pippin – Their entries for Fastest Dog in Australia

Bronte was now at the starting line waiting to be released as Denise waited at the finish line to catch her.

‘That’s my sister that is!’ Pippin nodded to a Borzoi who was standing next to him.

In a strong Russian accent the Borzoi replied ‘Zat is a tiny leetle dog with a long snout, I bet she go very fast’.

But before they had chance to discuss Bronte further, she had already reached the finish line in such good speeds that the dogs around the barriers had taken out their calculators to see whose time she had beaten.

Looking the epitome of elegance and beauty, the Borzoi who called himself Valdov, was oblivious to all around him except for Bronte.  Who was this beautiful little red and white dog with long legs and he wondered if he could he take her back to Russia to be his wife?

‘I did it! Did I do it well?’ Bronte panted as Denise proudly carried her away from the track.

Pippin was not happy at the way Valdov was eyeing up his sister and he especially wasn’t happy with the way the giant dog was swigging Russian water from a hip flask either.

‘Pippin, it’s your turn’ Bronte said breathlessly, ‘Hello, I am Bronte – pleased to meet you’ she added holding out her slim paw to acknowledge Valdov who was boring his eyes in to her.

‘Hello Bronte, Vood you like me to teach you how to speak Russian?’ Valdov asked Bronte  causing her to blush. (Imagine that sentence in a Russian accent to get the idea)

Before she had chance to answer, Pippin whispered to the Borzoi ‘I know some Russian’.

‘Eeez zat right?’ Valdov smirked.

‘Yes’ Pippin said firmly and then stood up on his hind legs to make himself bigger and said loudly ‘Leave my sister alone or I shall piss in your vodka bottle’.

And with that Pippin walked off and took his position on the starting line to do his entry for the Fastest Dog in Australia while secretly shitting his pants as he had been so brave in standing up to the Borzoi.

But that is what you do for those you love, you stand up for them even when it scares you.

‘Go on my Pippin, you can do it!’ Bronte squealed as the little dog ran for his life towards his Mum Denise.

Brutus was cheering him on in his deep voice from the sidelines. He looked on Pippin and Bronte as family and loves to see them racing, especially as this contest is a big event for any Australian lure coursing dog.

Jumping into his Mum’s arms, Pippin was every inch the hero as he was carried off the track.

Winner of the Fastest Iggy in Australia last year, the Iggies were very proud of Pippin and how passionately flew the flag for the club in the competition for 2014 and had equally high hopes this year.

However, we shall not say anything about his secret penchant for ballroom dancing though and his liking for tight satin pants because you shall find out all about that another time and without saying too much, Eugene is heavily involved in that as well which kind of makes fun of his ‘Crate of Barks’ and ruins his reputation but there you go, we all have a guilty secret somewhere.

Lucy – Wife of Eugene and ‘Cloth Dog has her turn

Lucy the Cloth Dog was about to take her turn for the run and as usual provided some fabulous entertainment as she ran down the track in elegant fashion whilst resembling a piece of black silk cloth in the wind.

With the Cloth Dogs it is not the actually race that people come to see, it is the show they put on at the end which usually involves leaping over the barrier, joyously running around and if there is some horse turd to roll in then all the better.

The trouble was is at Dogs West Show Grounds there is no horse manure for them to roll in but that did not stop Lucy standing there after her race and saying ‘Who has hidden the horse shit?’ while the Dachshunds yelled things like ‘Little dogs have rights too’. 644434_1633568180205662_383941116012881424_n

Lucy the Cloth Dog floats down the track

(Photograph by Studio Joy)

This of course set everyone else off including Bundy who was barking away shouting ‘I am the fastest cotton dog in the West!’

Satisfied that Lucy had caused enough of a rumpus with her antics, Eugene had gone back to the ‘Crate of Barks’ and was busy trying to find his own bottom amongst all that fur so that he could wash his anus.

The life of Tess

Tess had made herself comfortable in my chair and was busy discussing respectable things with Hamish and Woody.

‘I have two homes you know and in one of them I get to do as I like and have my own personal chef (my husband) and two leather sofas. (Tess looks on my house as her house and that is fine because Gordon loves her as well).

‘I have lots of laps to go on and I can get cuddles and pats whenever I want’ Woody added to the conversation.

‘I just love everyone’ Vader replied to nobody in particular and reached out to wash Brutus’s jowls which was quite a disgusting habit enjoyed by both dogs but really was not pleasant for public viewing.

The End of the Day

The exhausted dogs were resting around the gazebo, some were asleep, some falling asleep but those that were awake were discussing the day and the next lure coursing session.  Always planning in advance for their next social event, nothing excited them more than lure coursing (well except for a play date at the Furbaby Cafe). 11081436_10152780096433317_5482140589938400588_n

Tess being a social butterfly while the others rest after a busy day

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Brutus was sitting in my chair with his legs apart and his manhood rudely on display which of course had Vader making comments about sausages and stuff. (I never even realised that until after I posted the photo on Facebook). 19800_10152780095848317_6364989530331126065_n

Brutus on my chair – once you see it, you cannot ‘un-see’ it

(Photograph ignorantly taken by myself – Sam Rose)

‘Pippin?’ asked Brutus, ‘Will you be having lots of mobile phones like last year and talking to all the States in Australia?’

Pippin looked thoughtful and replied ‘Of course I will, in fact I have a new mobile phone as well – do you like it?’ whipping out a Galaxy Note 3, it looked as though he was holding a laptop.

‘That’s enormous!’ Bronte gasped, ‘We could watch TV on that’.

‘Oh yes and Barney, Kath and Ruby will be reporting for their side and Amex, Shine and Gracie will be helping them and I do believe Luciano will be the Karratha Correspondent’ Pippin added.

‘Will you be talking to the Northern Territory again like last year, I remember some, crocs, roos and dingoes were involved’ barked Vader.

‘Oh yes, we must not forget the Northern Territory, the crocs are hardcore supporters of lure coursing you know’ Pippin grinned.

‘Can crocs do lure coursing, I never knew that?’ Brutus piped up from his (my) chair.

Poppy, Chewy, Hamish, Woody, Bronte, Taia, Millie and the little Dachshund burst out laughing. ‘Crocs don’t do lure coursing silly!’ Tess shook her head while giggling at Brutus.

‘I knew that, I was just seeing if you knew that’ Brutus blushed as even Vader laughed at him.

‘Yes, more people are involved this year and each year will see it get bigger and better than the last as we learn from each event’. Pippin said firmly.

‘It’s good to be part of it though isn’t it?’ Millie barked as the others all agreed with her.

‘Do you remember us all sat at our computers last year for the finals, that was awesome’ Bronte reminded the others.

‘Oh yes, none of us got much sleep that night’ Pippin laughed, ‘But it was worth it though’.

‘Well, here’s to the next heat for the contest and let’s hope we can better our times and if not, we shall have a bloody good time anyway’ Brutus barked loudly.

‘Here here!’ barked the others and for a few minutes that is all you could hear – the sound of barking and the sight of tails wagging as the gang acknowledged that the Fastest Dog in Australia competition 2015 was well and truly underway.

At Barney’s House in QLD

‘So is everything in order then, what happens now?’ Kath the greyhound asked Barney who was sitting at his desk typing up notes for the Fastest Dog in Australia contest.

‘Let the competition commence and may the best dog win!’  Barney replied as he nodded to Kath.

At Amex’s House in QLD

As one of the official correspondents, Amex had been ready for this contest months. In fact he was born ready and being meticulously organised, had his office sorted, computer connected and webcam wired up for a live feed around Australia to keep up with the contest.

Remembering how much fun it had been last year Amex was really looking forward to it this year and had even purchased an ear piece so that he could listen to updates when he went outside for a pee.

Yes, Amex was ready for the competition and was proud to be a part of it all.  It was something that united the dogs of Australia and raised awareness about the sport and the great fun that dogs and owners can have together.

Back home at Brutus’s House

Brutus had shown his ‘Good Boy Collar Award’ to Rocky who although he had called Brutus a ‘Girls blouse’ for wearing such a posh collar, Rocky was secretly jealous that he hadn’t got anything.

I did actually remind Rocky that Fran Forbes from QLD had bought him a Julie Gillard doll and Brutus a second Tony Abbott doll but Rocky still maintained he deserved a Good Boy Award even though he hasn’t always been a good boy if you know what I mean. J4

Rocky and his Julia Gillard doll that Fran Forbes bought him

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘So, how fast did you go today Turd Legs?’ Rocky asked Brutus later that night.

‘Don’t know really but I had great fun’ Brutus replied simply.  Curled up on the sofa with Gordon the cat, Brutus was exhausted after his day.

Rocky looked thoughtful and barked ‘Yep and that’s what counts’

‘Here Brutus, tell me about your Good Boy Collar Award again’ Gordon asked.  Being an indoor cat he loved hearing about their stories. 10342001_10152782927138317_264238942954362727_n

Brutus winning his race (in his dreams of course)

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

But Gordon never did get to hear about it because when he glanced round to Brutus, he saw that he was fast asleep with his legs twitching.  No doubt dreaming about ‘winning his own race’ – which in my book, he does so well.

Until next time……..

Acknowledgements and Thanks The Australian Lure Coursing Association 

Thank you to the Australian Lure Coursing Association for their promotion of the sport in Australia at a National level and for overseeing that it is run fairly, appropriately and to a high standard.

Sandra Burrows and the team put in a huge amount of work to get the results of the Fastest Dog contest out to us, it is no small job either so thank you Sandra for all your hard work in doing this, we do appreciate it .

West Coast Dog Sports

Thank you to Dee Cole and all of the team at West Coast Dog Sports for their hard work in organising their heats for the Fastest Dog in Australia competition and for the lure coursing events in general that give our dogs the chance to compete in the sport.

Amy Joy from Studio Joy

Thank you to Amy Joy for kindly allowing me to use her photographs for my blog to bring it to life. Amy is available to take stunning photographs your animals at very reasonable prices  and If you would like a photo shoot with her then please contact her directly:

Amy Joy tel:  0430 549 346

A  special thank you from Brutus

Thank you to Dee Cole, Denise Pringle and everyone at the Italian Greyhound Club of Western Australia and Kim Cross for Brutus’s Good Boy Collar.  He will be saving it for evening wear and lure coursing.

If any of you would like a ‘Good Boy Collar’ for your own dog, please contact Dee Cole at the Canine Company:


No offence is intended by this story and I just write things down as they come in to my head. Whilst some (not all) of the dogs in my stories are in fact real, the dialogue that I give them is invented and any bearing or resemblance to the real dogs is purely coincidental and is in good fun and from my imagination only.

And if my husband is reading this and you suddenly find a tuxedo in Brutus’s wardrobe, you can blame Lexie as she got me started on all this and said that Brutus needed formal wear and as for the Hells Angels cap – I am saying nothing.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright April 2015

Watermarked photographs remain the sole copyright of Studio Joy and unmarked photographs remain the copyright of myself.