Birthdays, Old Age and Pink Salmon


Gordon reaches the grand age of 15 years old
(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Today is Sunday 9th April – just an ordinary day for Brutus and Rocky, nothing special about it except for plans to take Rocky for a drive to chat to the sheep.

The boys were up at 7.30am ready to go into the garden for the first pee of the day which as any dog will vouch is the best one. Rocky always checks the garden for intruders – invisible or otherwise while Brutus goes to what is now known as ‘The Brutus Tree’ to check to see if any more rats have appeared.

‘Good morning Gordy, how’s it going?’ Brutus grinned at Gordon as he lay curled up on the sofa.

Brutus adores Gordon you see, cleans his ears and his bum and despite Gordon having hardly any teeth, allows the ginger cat to get him in a ‘death-grip’ when he pretends he is an African lion hunting springbok in Namibia.


G and B

Brutus and Gordon – brothers from another mother

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Gordon, did you hear me?’ Brutus shouted to his brother. Gordon ignored him and stared boot-faced towards the window and then began to pointedly wash his anus with his hind leg held high in the air.

Looking somewhat hurt and confused, Brutus trotted up to Rocky who was now crossing his legs and muttering something about ‘being desperate for a piss’.

‘Gordon won’t talk to me’ Brutus whispered to the black kelpie.

Rocky shrugged and said something about him getting moody in his old age.

Both boys were let out into the garden and nothing more was said.

‘He looks smaller these days don’t you think, like really skinny?’ Rocky said to Brutus.

Brutus was busy gazing into his tree checking for rats, ‘He is still my big brother and can hunt things in Africa he told me so, I don’t think he is smaller because then he wouldn’t be able to hunt’ Brutus growled without taking his eyes off the tree, ‘Bloody rats – they are hiding from me on purpose’ he added fretfully.

Rocky shrugged his shoulders and trotted back to the patio door to be let back in as it was breakfast time.

As he pressed his snout against the window he spotted the frail cat sitting on the kitchen work surface talking to himself. ‘Everyone is a wanker, I hate everyone, nobody loves me, nobody cares and I am going to puke on the floor’.

Slowly and somewhat unsteadily on his feet, Gordon went to the floor and started making the unmistakable and dramatic sounds of vomiting and trust me, nothing and I mean nothing will make a cat owner sit up and take notice quicker than the violent sounds of a cat throwing up.

He barely puked anything but it was enough to get my attention. Clearing up the tiny bit of sick that I swear he had forced out to be noticed, I petted him and told him how marvellous he was and good on him for sicking up that furball.


Gordon demands attention by puking

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Yeah right, I don’t believe you love me and I am going to bite you later with my gums and shit in your clean laundry’ Gordon snapped at me and then wobbled off looking like a doddery old man that has lost confidence in his walking stick.

Rocky continued to stare through the window racking his brains to see what could have possible upset Gordon. It didn’t take long to find out either because just ten minutes later my husband came into the kitchen clutching a tin of pink salmon.

‘Happy 15th birthday Gordon’ My husband walked into the kitchen and kissed Gordon on the head and gently lifted him on to the kitchen workbench to have his salmon, which yes I know is unhygienic and all that stuff but I don’t really care.

‘I thought you had forgotten’ Gordon stuttered in his old man voice – a bit like Winston Churchill if you know what I mean.

‘As if we would forget’ I cuddled him – feeling his bones creak.

‘I love you Mum’ Gordon grinned and then promptly bit my hand with his remaining two canine teeth and called me a ‘bitch’.

It was a King that tucked into his salmon this morning, despite having very few teeth he made light work of it and even tolerated me putting on a tie for his birthday photo shoot.


Gordon – hunting his salmon (in Africa of course!)

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Can I tell my friends that I hunted that salmon in Africa?’ Gordon asked me.

I didn’t dare tell him that he didn’t really have any friends except for Tess and Pippin, but I agreed anyway and it was enough to make him happy. After all, a good imagination and an ability to dream never hurt anyone.

Meanwhile Rocky was outside looking mortified. How on earth did he forget his brothers birthday. Turning round he quickly ran over to where Brutus was to let him know they had some serious making up to do and plenty of arse licking (literally in Brutus’s case).

Rocky car

Rocky is such a thoughtful little dog

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

After breakfast the boys sat hovering by Gordon watching him eat the rest of his salmon.

‘Gordon we are SO sorry we forgot your 15th birthday, we didn’t mean to honestly we didn’t’ Brutus sobbed. He was totally distressed that he had forgotten and couldn’t stop crying as festoons of snot dripped from his nose and his eyes all red and puffy from being so upset.

Rocky was a bit more dignified but not too proud to admit that he was sorry and tried to bring Gordon his fluffy penguin.

R and B

Gordon is well loved by both of his brothers as you can see

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Gordon carried on eating and after a few seconds stared down at the boys. His eyes showing every year of his 15 years, the once 7kg cat did actually look quite frail and tiny.

His grumpy old face softened and he replied to his brothers ‘That’s OK, you have remembered now and that is what matters’.

‘I love you Gordon’ Brutus sighed, wiping his eyes and nose as he had been crying that much – guilt does that to Brutus you see. Brutus feels guilty even when he has done nothing wrong. Rocky dug a 3 foot hole in the garden and Brutus cried for days and apologized for it and even went to the police station to insist he be arrested for a crime that he didn’t commit.

‘I love you right back Brutus’ Gordon replied.

Licking his lips Brutus said hopefully ‘I can help you eat some of that salmon if you like, just as a favour of course’.

‘Bollocks’ Gordon replied, ‘Don’t push your luck’ and with a flick of his tail, Gordon turned round and flashed Brutus his bum.

‘He still loves us then!’ Rocky said sounding ever so relieved.

‘Yeah, I reckon’ Brutus barked happily, ‘And Rocky?’

‘Yes Brutus?’ growled Rocky.

‘He is still our big brother’ Brutus nodded firmly, ‘No matter how small he is’ – and there was no arguing with that.


Happy 15th birthday Gordon.


Samantha Rose (C) Copyright April 2017

Brutus learns the real meaning of Christmas



(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Brutus and Rocky were in the living room discussing Christmas and their shopping list. Gordon had just done an Exorcist style vomit over the dining room and had gone back to his food bowl to ‘replenish what had been lost’ much to Rocky’s disgust and Brutus’s admiration.

‘So what do you want for Christmas Brutus?’ Rocky asked him.

Brutus looked thoughtful ‘I don’t want much really, I would like a honking pig as Mum killed mine in the garden, I would like some more flappy toys, a spare gingerbread man, maybe a squeaky Santa and another snake, I would like a new collar and ID tag – not one of those crappy collars, perhaps a doggy stocking, a new camp bed for my bedroom and a new stuffed rabbit’ he finished looking absurdly proud of himself for being what he thought was ‘restrained’.


Brutus with last years gift that ‘exploded’ all by itself in the garden

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Rocky gasped ‘Not much? That is a huge amount Brutus and most dogs don’t get that much and some dogs don’t get anything at all’.

Gordon said nothing but stopped eating to listen to the boys talking. Inwardly he was shocked though as Brutus had lots of toys, admittedly some had ‘exploded’ all by themselves in the garden but he never went without that’s for sure.

‘What about you Rocky?’ Brutus asked him. Stretching out on the sofa, Brutus snuggled his head down on the red pillow and waited for Rocky to tell him his Christmas list for Santa Paws. Brutus loves Christmas and every year in the three Christmas’s we have had him, he makes me tell him bedtime stories about how Santa Paws visits all the dogs and leaves them food and bones that their owners have bought them and given to Santa for storage.

Rocky shrugged his shoulders ‘Well last year I wished for my hips to be not so painful and a bit better, but I have already got that present now because Mum bought me special powder to go in my food and they are so much better although I still can’t walk as far as normal kelpies’.


Rocky is a simple kelpie dog with simple needs

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘But I would like some new tennis balls to replenish my collection, I would like a generous slice of turkey if Dad can spare it, I would love to be able to get on the sofa with Mum and Dad and maybe even play with my fluffy penguin after lunch.

‘Of course we usually get a collar each year and I love the Rogz collars and always have a red or a blue one and an ID tag is nice as we usually get one every year as well.

But my best gift is when Mum does her Skype call to the UK and gets to talk to her family and I get to talk to her Daddy – AKA John Stocken because I have met him, I think he could be referred to the doggy version of our Grandad if such a thing exists’, Rocky said knowingly. A wise kelpie beyond his years, Rocky just knows ‘stuff’ and is an oracle of information.

‘You know John Stocken? How?’ Brutus demanded, feeling more than a little jealous of this as he only ever hears my Dad over the phone when he calls me.

‘I have met him’ Rocky said smugly, ‘He came to Perth once and threw my tennis ball and rubber chicken for ages, we had fun, we had cuddles and everything and I slept outside his room for 3 days after he flew back because I missed him so much’.


Rocky, Dad (AKA – John Stocken/Daddy Stocken, and the rubber chicken – Rocky on the left looking camouflaged!

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

The two dogs fell silent for a bit and all you could hear was the sound of Gordon occasionally crunching his cat biscuit.

‘But Rocky, I don’t understand – most of your presents are not sold in the shops so where would you buy them? How would you get them?’ Brutus asked looking puzzled.

‘That’s just it Brutus, Christmas isn’t about how much money is spent on things or how many toys and bones your owners buy for you, it is about the stuff that money can’t buy.

‘Time with those that love you, video calls to friends and family, nice food, cuddles, turkey dinner, the stuff you can only do or speak about with people you love. You can’t buy any of that in the shops.’


Rocky creating his own memories on one of our road trips

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Sure having toys and stuff is great but those memories last a whole heap longer than any toy that explodes in the garden’. Rocky finished.

‘But what about my toys, I love opening my toys?’ Brutus frowned.

‘You know out of all the stuff on your list Brutus, the one that is the most important above everything else?’ Rocky asked him.

Brutus shrugged because he didn’t know.

‘The collar and ID tag that Mum gets us and pays to have engraved to say we have a home and family of our own. The rest doesn’t matter’ Rocky said.

Brutus quietly walked off to his bedroom and stared at his bed which contained one of his fluffy blankets, his beloved Tony Abbott doll, his stuffed rabbit, his penguin, his honking hedgehog, his bear, baby teething ring and his deer antler.

It wasn’t a too shabby collection of toys, next to it was a bowl of fresh water and a food bowl, his camp bed and behind that a cupboard containing some more freshly washed blankets in case he shit the bed (don’t ask!) and needed his bum washed and fresh bedding.

He walked back into the kitchen and stared at Rockys bed which had been hand made by Cuzz Bro’s Creations, covered in a red blanket, a Julie Gillard doll, another Tony Abbott doll and a gingerbread man which Brutus thinks is his but it really belongs to Rocky, plus a deer antler, bowl of water and food bowl.

Walking into the dining room Brutus noticed a selection of leashes, head collars, a collar, Rocky’s muzzle and Brutus’s camo harness. Brutus also took in the toy box in the garden packed to the top with toys and his recent birthday present of Fat Cat (flappy cat) and his snake he got from Dee Cole at the Funky Dog Company, as well as shit loads of tennis balls scattered around the garden.

Nothing more was said that afternoon about presents from either of the dogs. Gordon never asks for anything anyway and still has toys from when he was a kitten, even his plastic bed belonged to our cat before him – Bruno and is about 20 years old and Gordon loves it. Gordon likes simple things like bird feathers or being allowed to chew my bras (bastard).


Gordon  – almost 15 years old and an all round naughty boy and member of the ginger club

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

So today I had to go and do my Christmas shopping and I hate shopping, like really hate it unless I am in a pet shop and then I love it.

‘What would you like for Christmas boys?’ I smiled at them as I was about to leave.

‘Tennis balls would be good and a new ID tag’ Rocky smiled at me.


I shall have a tennis ball please Mum and lots of cuddles and turkey

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘But if we can go to the farm area on Christmas Day so I can catch up with the sheep that would be good as well’ Rocky added.

‘How about you Brutus?’ I asked him.

Brutus stared at me, his red/brown eyes bore into mine, expecting a long list I got ready for his demands of toys/bones etc.

‘If you can see fit to buying me a new honking pig to replace the one you squished in your car that would be nice, and a new ID tag because I have scraped the writing off mine on the wall when I rub myself against the bricks every morning’ Brutus growled.

‘Is that all? Are you sure?’ I asked him, this was news to me – Brutus is the King of Christmas lists and has even resorted to writing his lists on an entire roll of toilet paper to fit in what he wants which involves half of City Farmers.

‘Some turkey dinner would be nice and if I can be with Rocky when you Skype Daddy John Stocken and everyone else that would be brilliant’ Brutus barked at me.

Shrugging my shoulders I smiled at them and went off to do my shopping while secretly wondered if someone had swapped my dog with a newer angelic version.


Brutus the Good Boy

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

After I had gone shopping

‘Did you mean that?’ Rocky asked Brutus, he could barely believe what he had just heard.

‘I’ve got loads of toys, I’ve got pretty much everything really and as you say, the rest of the stuff can’t be bought’ Brutus said firmly.

Rocky looked at his brother in admiration, nudging Brutus affectionately with his snout, Rocky grinned ‘Except for the honking pig – they are $11.00 in the supermarket because I have checked on Mum’s computer’.

Brutus laughed and wagged his tail ‘Yes, let’s not forget the honking pig’.


Going in the car to look at the sheep – cost? Priceless

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Gordon sat washing his anus from the other chair, at almost 15 years old he had seen many Christmases as you can imagine and he had realised long ago that the best Christmas is one that creates memories and not shopping lists, like the time he ate tinsel off the tree and had to shat it out with my help pulling it from his bum (now THAT is a memory!).


You thought I was joking about the anus!

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Three hours later I returned with very little in my bag as shopping had been a total nightmare, we don’t have children so not much to buy anyway really. But what there was in my bag; was a packet of tennis balls and a honking pig.

And in the post winging its way to me is an envelope with two bone shaped ID tags for the boys all engraved with the best present a dog could want – their owners details and enough phone numbers on there to show the world we love them.


The most important things – the famous honking pig, collar, ID tag and a bone. These were Brutus’s first things bought for him when he came out of hospital after being critically ill.

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Merry Christmas everyone, thank you for the lovely comments and support so many of you have given this page over the years.

Samantha, Gordon, Rocky and Brutus

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright December 2016

A Forbidden Love (Bronte and Rocky)

It was Sunday afternoon and Rocky was in a bad mood as he hadn’t had a good walk in ages, he was also pissed off because he doesn’t have any friends because he hates everyone, including his invisible friends that all dogs have – just ask Rocco about that.


Rocky in his Kelpie Spectacles

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘What are we doing today?’ Brutus demanded in a bored voice. Brutus always assumed things had been organised for him and kind of expected it.


Brutus always expects stuff to be organised for him

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Rocky shook the absurdly large newspaper that he was reading, taking a deep breath he peered over the top of his kelpie spectacles which are just like Harry Potters spectacles except that they are for kelpies.

‘We are probably doing nothing, I hate everyone and I hate everyone even more today’ Rocky snapped and then bent down to chew his anal glands.

Brutus who is not good at ‘reading’ other dogs, shrugged his shoulders and trotted off to Rocky’s bed to steal his gingerbread man who had taken Tony Abbott’s place for suckling time when he needed a comforter.

Unknown to Rocky I had been messaging Denise Pringle asking if she fancied going to North Lake for a walk with Pippin and Bronte and I would bring Rocky.

Telling me that yes she would meet me in the car park I then set about breaking the good news to Rocky that he was to be meeting Pippin and Bronte and Brutus would be staying home with Dad to ‘help in the garden’ (dig the crap out of it).

‘What do you mean I can’t go? I always hang out with Pippin?’ Brutus protested with his bottom lip quivering.

‘What does she mean I can’t go?’ Brutus repeated to Rocky who grinned and replied simply ‘You go everywhere, it’s my turn now – catch ya later alligator!’ Rocky barked back at Brutus.

‘Come on Brutus, go to your room – I have put some treats in there’ I reassured him.

‘Not going, won’t go, can’t make me’ Brutus said in a high pitched voice and then promptly threw himself to the floor (I am not joking either)

Brutus sulking twice

Brutus – an expert on sulking

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

The large brown dog buckled to the floor and started to howl. Now the reason for him not going was because I am working on Rocky’s behaviour and confidence around other dogs and he is far better when he is not with Brutus and Pippin has a calming influence on him.

Eventually I got Brutus to his bed and placated him with a carrot but not before he threatened to do rude things with it and the last I heard of him was him threatening to self harm as I drove off with Rocky in the car.

‘Yeah, this is so cool! Do you mind if I drive?’ Rocky grinned at me.

‘No, you are not driving’ I said firmly.

‘Oh well, I shall yell stuff out of the window then’ Rocky shrugged and before I could stop him; he was calling a Jack Russell terrier a ‘flea bitten stumpy legs’.

Soon we pulled up at North Lake and Denise, Pippin and Bronte arrived minutes after we did.

‘Hi Rocky!’ Pippin’s face beamed through the car window as he steamed it up trying to talk and greet Rocky.

Rocky and Pippin

Rocky and Pippin – members of the Sensible Club

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Rocky who is so sensible and full of self control, tried to contain himself but as he doesn’t have any friends except for Lexie’s Tess and Pippin and Bronte, he was absurdly pleased to see the two little dogs. He was especially pleased to see Pippin as on the whole and when they are not being corrupted, are both very sensible dogs that wear spectacles and read large newspapers with big words and get on very well together.

‘Hi Rocky, do you think I have my figure back after my babies?’ Bronte said flirtatiously to Rocky who looked approvingly at her skinny bum.

‘Bronte, don’t be so forward!’ Pippin reprimanded her. Bronte looked boot-faced at Pippin and winked naughtily at Rocky causing him to blush and look away.

Bronte and Rocky

Rocky and Bronte – a forbidden love

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Call me’ Bronte mouthed and did a phone gesture with her paws before running off ahead so that Rocky could get the full benefit of her svelte figure and pretty purple outfit.

‘Girls, I will never understand them’ Pippin sighed to Rocky, ‘Now – shall we discuss what has been happening in the UK as I understand they have voted out and I am not sure what that means for exporting dog collars and clothes’

Rocky pretended to listen but kept a beady eye on Bronte who kept turning round to see if he was looking and remaining in one place just long enough to catch his glance.

It was a very pleasant walk and aside from discussing politics, Rocky and Pippin had a jolly nice time that involved treats from Denise’s pocket, discussing the benefits of making ones bed explode and the glories of rolling in horse shit.

‘You see this is the equivalent to Facebook, if I pee on that post then you have to pee on where I have peed’ Bronte said confidently to Rocky as they trotted beside each other.

‘Oh I see, let me see if I can get a bit more out’ Rocky replied and then cocked his leg up a tree and was followed by Pippin who had enough pee for all three of them which made them all laugh.

Anyway the rest of the walk went very well, treats were given and eaten, bottoms were sniffed and the three dogs just enjoyed each others company.

At the End of the Walk

‘Oh I wish I didn’t have to go home I have had so much fun’ Rocky said to Pippin while looking longingly at Bronte who was smiling back at him and doing her ‘call me’ gestures again and was frantically sending Rocky a text. They always have had a bit of a forbidden crush on one another much to the horror of Nica, Zara and the rest of the girls.

‘We can meet up next time old chap’ Pippin patted Rocky reassuringly on the back. Knowing that Rocky had bad hips, Pippin always liked to do his bit for the disabled and felt that it was no trouble helping Rocky as the two had become quite good friends and members of the ‘sensible club’ – well we won’t count the time that Pippin ended up in a lap dancing club run by whippets as that is another story.

Rocky was reluctantly put in the back of the car. With his black snout pressed against the window, he yelled out through the gap ‘Catch ya later Pippin’ and before Pippin could see him, Rocky gave a cheeky wink to Bronte who waved back at him.


Sweet Kelpie Dreams (of Bronte)

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

In Denise’s Car

‘What a lovely boy he is, so polite and handsome’ Bronte sighed as she settled into her bed.

‘Bronte!’ Pippin chastised her.

‘Well, he is jolly handsome’ Bronte barked back and then huffed some steam on the window and drew a love heart on it with her paws.

‘Rocky is too sensible to have flirtations with Italian greyhounds’ Pippin said firmly.

‘Yeah, I guess he is – but a girl can try….’ Bronte said quietly.

IMG_0639Bronte the pretty girl

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Back at Home

‘You are such a bastard, I hate you, I am never talking to you again!’ Brutus sobbed as Rocky jumped out of the car.

Ignoring him Rocky took a pee up the garden pot, well he had actually used his pee allocation while out with Pippin and Bronte and was now doing invisible pee, but even invisible pee counts when it comes to dogs.

‘I said I hate you and I am never talking to you again’ Brutus said loudly and as if to prove a point, he squatted down and pissed down his own legs. Brutus always looks as though life got a bit too much for him and when he gets upset he gets very loud and very cute.

‘You just did talk to me silly’ Rocky laughed.

‘I said I am never talking to you again, that’s it!’ Brutus started to cry and remained by my car as Rocky marked his spots around the garden to make sure that strange invisible dogs had not infiltrated our security system while we were out and my husband was in bed or whatever he did while we were out.

Later that afternoon

Having thawed out somewhat and deciding that he was totally unable to ignore or be ignored, Brutus decided to ask Rocky about how it went with Pippin and Bronte.

‘Well she is very nice isn’t she, she looked so beautiful in that purple outfit and she has lost so much weight – you wouldn’t believe she had not long had pups’ Rocky said as his face softened at the memory of the afternoon.

‘You fancy her don’t you?’ Brutus burst out and then catching Rocky blushing furiously, he stood up and farted with excitement. ‘You do, you fancy her, you fancy Bronte Pringle!’

‘You are SO childish, I don’t know why I bother with you’ Rocky growled and nipped Brutus smartly on his brown bum to shut him up and made him cry.

Curling up on his bed Rocky hid under his blanket and pretended to be asleep.

‘Rocky, are you asleep?’ Brutus whispered, ‘I am sorry, I didn’t mean to say you fancied Bronte, I know you prefer sheep to girl dogs, I was just joking’ Brutus who was mortified that he had upset his brother.

Rocky stayed silent and kept his eyes tightly shut until he was sure that Brutus had gone back to his own bed. But clutched tightly between his paws was a photo of Bronte that she had texted him plus her mobile number with a message saying ‘Call me’.

But the question is – will he?……

To be continued…..


An Open Letter to Gordon – my cat


Gordon – a face meant for smooching

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Old age, our pets and our attitude

Our pets age, they get old, they slow down and get more demanding – a bit like us really.  One minute they are young and before you know it, time has flown by and at a glance they have become old; leaving us wondering just when it all happened.

I have read so many stories about owners surrendering their pets once they become senior and there are too many photos of grey faced animals with opaque aging eyes staring back at us from pound rescue photographs.

I find it leaves a nasty taste in my mouth when a pet is given up purely and only for being old and then quickly replaced by a younger pet.  What kind of message does this send out and are we really so arrogant to think that old age does not apply to us and we as humans will never get old or demanding?

This blog is dedicated to my senior cat Gordon who is stepping in to his senior years which is also bringing with it a change of personality – he has no boundaries, he is demanding, he is naughty and even chews my hair when I sleep.  Could I surrender him for these reasons and swap him for a younger cat?  Absolutely not, I love him and I love every ginger hair on his head and I love the old cat he has become.

This story details how I see Gordon, his behaviour, his appearance and how it is all too easy to assume that he will always be around.  I have written this to him as an open letter – yes I know he is a cat and can’t read, but if he could then this is what I would tell him.

So treasure your senior pets, treasure every single grey hair on their face – they have earned it and if you have loved them properly then you have earned the right to have them in your lives and for that reason; you should count yourselves very lucky.


At 9 weeks you came in to our lives.  I remember we had to choose between you and your twin brother Anthony and we picked you because you were not scared of our dog – a whippet bitch called ‘Rema’.

You marched right up to her and smacked her on the snout and I will never forget the look of horror on her face as you did that.  A tiny little ginger kitten taking on a 12kg whippet that quickly developed respect for you.

You were young, energetic, naughty and ‘full of beans’ as I would describe you. You would shred the carpet, eat our towels, fight with the dog and hang round her neck and swing from the curtains in a small ginger bundle of fury.

Gordon and my whippet ‘Rema’ – best friends

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

At a year old you had the look of a ‘teenage’ cat about you.  You had developed retrieving skills and would play ‘fetch’ with your beanie baby toy panther that you loved to carry around with you and bring to us if we asked you to.

Gradually you grew into a fat cat that seemed to go more orange the more mischief you got in to.  You had developed a habit of stealing things which included boxes of matches, inhalers, jewellery, cotton buds – anything that you could fit in your ginger mouth.  Your ‘spoils’ were hidden in your favourite spots that I soon found and then you would move them somewhere else and it would take me ages to find out where.

At six years old we took you to Australia where you flew by plane and landed in Perth a day before we did where you spent the next 30 days in quarantine.  On release from quarantine you quickly settled in as an Aussie cat and adapted to the heat, the noisy birds and life in general, your life in London was now a million miles away.


Gordon at Byford Quarantine, WA

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

You spent the next seven years looking fabulous with a glossy coat and having an energetic zest for life.  Being an indoor cat you had no predators and none of the usual risks associated with being an outdoor cat and we marvelled at your health and vitality for a cat of your age.

The parrots taunted you and you argued back in your cat-like ‘chatter’ as you made ‘clicking’ noises with your mouth at the window, no doubt threatening what you would do to them if you ever got out.


Gordon looking very ‘orange’ – note his eyes starting to look old

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Six months after arriving in Australia, we acquired our first ‘Aussie dog’ – a 4 month old kelpie called ‘Rocky’.  Within the first five minutes of meeting him, you had smacked him smartly on the snout and ‘boxed’ him with your huge padded ginger paws, making him pee himself because he was so scared of you.

The line was once again drawn with you and Rocky knew from that day on to never cross you and became and still is, your biggest protector to this very day.


Then three years ago we fostered a 12 week old ridgeback/kelpie puppy called Brutus – which was meant to be a three day thing really, except that Brutus ended up staying.

You took to Brutus immediately and let him get away with a remarkable amount of rough-housing until a point was reached where you would get him into one of your ‘death-grips’ and pin him down by his throat (all 30kgs of him).

Brutus has adored you from the very first day he met you and enjoys washing you, cleaning your ears and following you around until he annoys you enough to get a biff on the snout (claws in of course).

A baby Brutus and Gordon and then a grown up Brutus and Gordon

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

At what point did I notice you got old

It kind of crept up on me really (probably like it did to you) but one day I was walking around the house getting various bits and pieces ready for work the next morning.  I happened to glance down to see your frail ginger body trotting after me as you struggled to keep up.

I laughed and thought it cute but on closer inspection you were like an old man trying to keep up with life as your joints hurt you and you stiffly tried to trot after me as I went from room to room to get things.

Your agility and balance has slowly declined over the years and last week you jumped up on to the sofa while I was sitting on it and as I looked round, all I saw was your ginger face appear full of panic as you lost your grip and fell backwards to the floor.

As if you were embarrassed, you sneezed, shook yourself and limped off as if to say ‘That didn’t hurt, I meant that to happen’.

Your stomach has become more sensitive as you have aged and whilst you have always been prone to vomiting – probably due to you grooming the dogs and ingesting their fur, your vomiting has become more frequent and now you can do it without warning whilst managing a somewhat splendid Exorcist style projectile vomit as you hit the blinds and the walls with the contents of your stomach.

Your bones have started to ‘crack’ when you are picked up and despite our attempts to treat you like a piece of fine bone china, the extent of your fragility is apparent.

It doesn’t stop you being naughty though and you still like to bite up and down our arms like you are chewing a corn on the cob, except that now your jaw kind of ‘clacks’ as you bite down, your bite is weak and your stiff legs somewhat feebly bicycle against my arm as you try and kick me.

Knock, Knock – who’s there? Gordon, that’s who!

A habit that you have had since you were a baby was to stand on your hind legs and use your front legs to scratch at the door.  You had the ability to do this for hours on end until we relented and would let you in the bedroom.

These days you still do it but I can barely hear you but I know you are there.  I can hear you meowing and crying and the oh-so-faint sounds of your paws weakly scratching at the door.  I let you in straight away, I always let you in because I don’t like the idea of you wanting to come in so bad that you will still use what energy you have to scratch at that door and I know how much it must hurt your arthritic paws.


Still in charge – no matter how old you are

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Sometimes you have those mad half hours where you take a shit in your litter tray and then run around the house with a joyous expression on your face as you skid along the floor and bump into doors/windows while the dogs look at you as though you have gone mad.

Talking of dogs, you still have the power over Rocky and Brutus.  You can get Brutus on his back in submission in a matter of seconds as you try and get him in a ‘death grip’ by biting his throat and kicking him with your hind legs.  He could kill you with one bite but no, he has a healthy respect for you and is so protective of you.


Brutus has your back Gordon

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Everyone needs a hug sometimes…

Every evening when I get home from work I sit on the sofa and relax with a cup of tea, just unwinding as people do.  Like clockwork you always jump on my knee and demand my attention.

In your younger years, you started off subtle and would never sit on my laptop or push drinks out of my hand but as you have aged, your boundaries have long gone and you are more than happy to shove my cup of tea right out of my hand or sit square on top of my laptop and ‘make puddings’ on my chest as you knead my boobs and go off into a trance of delight because you quite simply love your cuddles.

I have learned that resistance is futile and as soon as I see you march across the coffee table, I know that my cup of tea must be quickly finished, my laptop shut down, phone on the table and the blanket gets put on my lap so that you can get comfy.


Gordon – simply cannot be ignored

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Then as quickly as you demanded to get on there, you decide that you have had enough and walk off with your tail held high in an act of defiance that says ‘I can do what I want’.

‘He won’t be around forever you know and one day you will miss all of this’ My husband warned me one day when I complained that you wouldn’t leave me alone.

I stared at you when he said that and tried to imagine life without you, life without Gordon – the cat that flew from the Motherland to Perth, the cat that had been with us through thick and thin and has seen us through our life stages.

I realised that he was right, that you wouldn’t be around forever and there would come a day that I would be regretting the day I chose my privacy, laptop and cup of Yorkshire tea over the cat that I loved so dearly.

Now when you want a cuddle; you get it and as for me going to the toilet on my own, well that is so overrated and I no longer complain when you want to sit on my knee while I am trying to pee.

You still love your life, you still enjoy your life, you are just slower and older but you still know how to demand what you want, get what you want and you still know how to be naughty.

So when did you get so old my darling Gordon and why did it take me so long to realise that you are not replaceable by a mobile phone, laptop computer or ‘time alone’.

Now I make the most of each time you want a cuddle, I am privileged that you are so desperate to sleep on my lap and I love the fact that you follow me around.  But most of all I am proud, proud that you are my cat and that we bought you with us from London to Perth and I am privileged to be seeing you into your senior years.

You are getting older Gordon and you won’t always be around but while we have you, we promise to look after you, never to let any harm come to you and love you for the rest of the time that you have with us and when the heartbreaking time comes to send you over to Rainbow Bridge, we will walk right beside you to that entrance.

Thank you for being our cat


The gift of owning a senior pet cannot be underestimated

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright January 2016

Jessie – 10 Year Old Dog Stolen from Perth

Jessie 2

Jessie – stolen from her home during a burglary

(Photograph provided by owner)

Who:     Jessie the Kelpie (mix)

Age:       Ten years old

Colour:  Black (grey mask, tufts of eyes), white paws, vest and stomach

Sex:        Female

Date:      23rd October 2015

Area:      Heathridge, WA, 6027

What happened?

On Friday 23rd October 2015, Jessie’s owner left his house in Heathridge, WA at around 1.30pm.  He noticed nothing strange or untoward, just an ordinary day with nothing to make him suspect anything was going to happen.

He returned the same day at around 7.15pm, the weather was fine and it had gone dark about 20 minutes prior to him coming home.  Jessie’s owner pressed the garage key fob a few houses before arriving at the house as he usually did so that the garage door would be open for him to drive straight in

As he drove closer to the house, he realised that the garage door was going down which indicated that it had already been open.  Pressing the button again to open it, he drove up the drive which is on a slope and into the carport.

By now Jessie’s owner was somewhat worried as Jessie is left outside when the owners are out; with the garage door down and the gate on the other side locked with a padlock.

With it being dark, Jessie’s owner left the car headlights on so that he could see to drive his way in.  Jessie usually comes to greet her owner but on this occasion she didn’t which was out of character in itself.

Now this is where I want you to imagine how you would feel if this was your dog – not necessarily a cute puppy, but your dog – whatever breed and however young or old that may be.  Imagine coming home to this and think about how you would feel.

Jessie’s owner quickly got out of the car and went to the back door of the house where he could clearly see that the door had been forced and left open.  his first thought was to check the laundry room outside where Jessie often likes to lie on the tiled floor because it is cool and she can still see everything from where she is.

That was when he noticed that Jessie wasn’t there and shouted her name in the vague hope that Jessie may have run into the bushes to hide, but Jessie never came and wasn’t in the bushes or anywhere else for that matter.

The owner ran through the house yelling for Jessie hoping that she was inside, running in to the bedroom where Jessie sleeps and then into every other room but not yet noticing if anything had been stolen because his priority was Jessie and it was now evident that she wasn’t there.

Could Jessie have wondered off somewhere?  This is highly unlikely if not impossible because Jessie is simply not that kind of dog and is of a senior age where she is content to be in her own little home and the Queen of her castle with no need to stray even with the doors forced open.

Once Jessie’s owner had checked the house; he realised that all of his clothes from the spare bedroom wardrobe (about 40 hangers worth) had been stolen just leaving one dirty T shirt left (and the clothes that he stood up in).

A laptop which was hidden under an A4 notepad in the lounge and not in full view was also stolen but his wallet with $168 inside and all the credit cards which were in full view and easy to spot; was not touched.  Whoever had burgled the house left no mess, no drawers open or any of the usual mess that is often associated with burglaries.  All they took were the clothes, the laptop and Jessie.

So what is so special about a ten year old dog?

Photographs provided by Jessie’s owner

When a younger dog is stolen it often generates a lot more publicity, especially when it is a puppy or a female that has just had puppies – and rightly so because Mum needs her pups and vice versa.

Jessie is a senior dog, she is ten years old, probably a bit stiff on her legs, more grey on her face than black.  To sum it up she really is of no value to anyone other than her owner.

The media have not really picked up on this story and why would they be interested in a grizzled senior kelpie/collie mix in her twilight years?  After all, this one won’t pull on the public heartstrings now will it?

Well this is where we are mistaken.  The fabulous animal loving public of Perth would definitely want to hear about this – if only the media picked up on it and gave this story as much publicity as the younger dogs that are stolen get.

Things to consider about this case

What is so special about Jessie?  To her owner she is priceless, no amount of money can buy her and whilst he has put up a $1,000 reward with ‘no questions asked’, the question begging to be asked is whether or not money was and is the motivation in this case.

Something else to consider is that the house where Jessie lives sits at the top of a steep drive, it is also on a road which is on a bus route.  The house has an intruder alarm where as no other houses around it do and the strobe light is clearly visible on the front of the house.  Jessie’s owner did not put the intruder alarm on that day, however you can clearly see an alarm sensor in the corner of the kitchen though the back door which they forced.

Jessie also has loud bark, which like most dogs she uses when she hears anything close to her territory and is a vocal dog. The next door neighbour has 2 dogs which also bark when they hear things – which makes this very strange that they picked Jessie’s owners house to burgle that night.

Let’s not forget that money was left behind and the only three things that were stolen were clothes, a laptop and Jessie.  Could this be someone targeting the owner, or someone known to the owner?

Why is it important to get Jessie home ASAP?

This old girl is an established pet, she has an acceptance about her that takes many years of love, care and attention from her owner to get her to this stage.

Jessie’s little pleasures in life aside from walks, will be her home comforts and ultimately her ‘Dad’.  Being able to sit on the sofa and wait until her owner get home.  A dog like Jessie will not want for much but one thing is certain, her routine and family will be important to her.

I can imagine Jessie being locked up in someone’s house or garden, she may be cold/hot, sore from her joints, she won’t have her toys and familiar items around her and being a very senior dog, she could well be disorientated.

If you live in Perth, have you noticed that your neighbour has acquired a new dog, if so does it bark a lot?  A dog in a new and scary environment will bark out of fear or confusion.

Old dogs tend to have what I term to be ‘rusty barks’ where their barks sound old, have you heard a new dog on your street with a ‘rusty old dog bark?’

Could you peak over your neighbours fence discreetly and see if they have a senior, black kelpie/collie mix with a grey muzzle and white paws fitting Jessie’s description?

If there is one thing the people of Perth are exceptionally good at and that is coming together in a crisis or when an animal needs help and it is a quality that makes me very proud to live here.

So whilst Jessie is not a young dog, please keep an eye out and be vigilant in looking for her, she deserves to spend her final years with the one that loves her most and understands her best – her owner.


There is a $1,000 reward for Jessie’s safe return or information leading to her return.

Please let us find this elderly dog that did nothing that fateful day aside from lie in her home awaiting for her beloved owner to come home.

If you have Jessie

If by some chance the person that has stolen Jessie is reading this, please give her back.  You know taking her was wrong, you know that keeping her is wrong and you know that you are not being fair to either her or her owner.

Jessie’s owner will give you a reward for her safe return and will not pursue this.  All he wants is his dog back safe and sound.

If you still have her, take a good look at her after reading this and ask yourself if what you have done is right.

If you have passed her on, then I ask you to let the owner know the details of the person you passed her on to so that he can try and get her dog back.

But do remember one thing, a ten year old dog has zero value to you but the $1,000 reward money – now you could do a lot with that couldn’t you?

Jessie 3

Photographs provided by Jessie’s owner

If you have any information that could lead to the whereabouts of Jessie, please call Lee Padgett on this number:

Mobile: 0406642031


Find Jessie – Stolen from Perth

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright January 2016

The Christmas Nativity Iggy Style – Part Two

NativityVader (top left), Brutus (top middle), Fat Harry (top right)

Nica (left) Shelby (right)

Chewy (bottom)

Every year at Christmas time, the Iggies usually put on an event of some sort which involves drunken debauchery and lots of high jinx.  But this year Pippin Pringle wanted the Iggy club to do something a bit different from the usual party and decided to hold their own version of the Christmas Nativity – Iggy style.

Pippin hoped that the dogs would learn many valuable life lessons from doing the Christmas Nativity or even just one lesson would be good.

‘But what can we possibly learn Uncle Pippin?’ Mako, Rambow and Apollo asked him in unison.

‘I don’t know but I am sure there will be something’ Pippin replied.  Good god, he hoped they would learn something too because every Christmas some kind of learning experience usually happens.

Pippin had been looking forward to this nativity for ages and had thoughts of well-behaved, well-trained Iggies with no rudeness or swearing or anything.  Yes, yes, I know – a dog can dream can’t he?

It wasn’t going to be like your traditional Christmas Nativity story as Pippin had ‘tweaked’ it and adapted it to suit the Iggy club but that was OK as the Christmas spirit was there plus peace and goodwill to all dogs and their owners kind of thing and that is what matters.

The story had been cast, rehearsals had been done and it was now the night of the event which was to be held at a secret venue.  Bouncers had been hired in the form of Teddy – a French mastiff and Sultan – a ridgeback/staffie.

One could be forgiven for thinking that Iggies do not need bouncers but Pippin didn’t want to take any chances with his big production and the two big dogs were put in place as doormen, wearing their outfits and looking every inch the protector (and splitter up of squabbles) of the tiny dogs inside the building.

Max and paddySultan (left) and Teddy (right) – keeping the peace

Like any production, it was a hub of excitement behind the scenes at the venue. Sounds of barking, yelping and a bit of swearing could be heard.  Iggies with their stick thin legs skidded around the floors and jumped over furniture, Olive had already been told off for making Zara jump high stuff without her bobble head helmet to stop her hurting herself.  Nica was vomiting from nerves, plus she thought it quite appropriate to puke before a show because the audience would think she was a brave girl for soldiering on.

Brutus, Vader and Fat Harry were being dressed up as the three wise men and had all been given tablecloths or sheets from their Mums’ houses with bathrobe belts to tie around their waists to keep them in place.

Chewy was playing the baby Jesus which he was thoroughly over excited about.  He was already in his crib wearing his Christmas outfit, he looked quite comical as his mass of red fur puffed out in his special ‘Kings’ outfit his Mum Sarah had bought him from London.

He was quite happy about his part because Chewy like many dogs, was thrilled to be given the opportunity to lie in a crib and have to do very little.  Brutus was hugely jealous of this and would have given his last bone to sleep in that crib – never mind the fact that he couldn’t fit in it and it took some placating from Pippin to tell him that as well as being an overall ‘Good Boy’, he was also a rather marvellous candidate for a wise man.

Nica and Shelby (and his testicles) were playing the Virgin Mary and Joseph.  Nica thought she looked nice in her robes.  As for Shelby, he just planned to rest up on his enormous testicles and gloat at everyone else that didn’t have a set of their own.

Starbuck who was playing the shining and guiding star, was suspended from the ceiling dressed in a shiny gold star costume.  With a big grin on her face, she rocked back and forth from the rope with her tiny hind legs kicking out while secretly wondering if she could swing high and far enough to knock the huge Christmas tree down in the corner.

‘Starbuck, do you have to show QUITE so much enthusiasm, I don’t think stars are meant to swing like that!’ Pippin yelled from the ground.

‘Oh star of wonder, star so bright, Apollo set my knickers alight’ Starbuck sang happily as she built up momentum on her rope and carried on swinging.

‘Did she just say her knickers were on fire?’ Phoebe asked Carlo.

‘That was very rude if she did’ Carlo shook his head, ‘but it is funny’.

‘Right everyone – lights, camera, action!’ Rocco growled through his megaphone.

The audience waited with anticipation, dogs and owners alike sat proudly in their chairs, each convinced that their pet would be the best.

‘My Fat Harry is a wise man’ Cathy whispered to Lexie who was sitting next to her.

‘So is my Vader’ Lexie nodded proudly.

‘My Nica is the Virgin Mary’ Francesca grinned to Denise Pringle who was sitting behind her.

‘My Shelby is playing the part of Joseph’ Gabrielle replied.

‘Talking of wise men, where are they?’ Denise sighed.

‘Not sure, but they should be out…..’ Carolyn started to say.

Sounds of shuffling could be heard, the curtain at the side of the stage was moving and quite suddenly Fat Harry came skidding along on his bum across the stage as Rocco shoved him out with so much force that he nearly knocked Chewy out of his crib.

‘What did you do that for?’ Fat Harry shouted to Rocco who flipped him the bird and poked his tongue out.

Standing up and making attempts to re-compose himself, Fat Harry cleared his throat and said ‘I am one of the wise men and I am checking out to see where baby Jesus is, although I am useless at map reading so he could be anywhere’

‘Oh my god, that is not part of the Christmas nativity!’ Cathy said to Denise Pringle.

‘It most certainly isn’t’ Denise Smith whispered knowingly.

‘I think Pippin is letting them do their own thing this year’ Denise Pringle replied but secretly wondered which direction this production could take – it could all end in tears (probably Pippin’s).

Brutus and Vader were also wearing sheets and belts, had started shuffling along the stage.  Taking his place next to Fat Harry, Vader adjusted his belt and looked in the audience for his Mum Lexie and spotting her; he started to wave enthusiastically and nearly whacked Shelby in the face at the same time.

Brutus took his place and made sure that he could see his Mum as well (that’s me by the way) and his brothers Rocky and Gordon.


(Photograph by Samantha Rose)

481191_10153297712933317_8546320291490447036_nGordon – always supportive of Brutus

(Photograph by Samantha Rose

‘How far do we have to go?’ Fat Harry asked Brutus.

Ignoring Fat Harry, Brutus glanced up at Starbuck who was dangling down kicking her little legs, momentarily forgetting that he was in the play with an audience, Brutus laughed and said ‘Oh look, it’s Starbuck swinging from the roof, hello Starbuck!’ he yelled and waved to her as the audience laughed.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Pippin covered up his eyes and wondered if these Hollywood directors had these kind of problems with their cast, probably not.

‘Hopeless’ Pippin mouthed to Rocco who was now smoking a cigarette and trying to read ‘Dogs Monthly’ magazine.

Fat Harry poked Brutus in the ribs and said ‘How far till we get to the Inn to give Mary and Joseph their presents?’

Clutching a GPS, Brutus said ‘I am not sure, it says address not found but the nearest address is Furbaby Cafe, will that do?’

‘Let me look I am sure you haven’t put in the right postcode, have you tried Bethlehem?’ Vader demanded.

Looking confused and tapping the GPS with his paws, Brutus shrugged his shoulders ‘How do you spell Bethlehem?’.

‘Just put in Furbaby Cafe and we will see what happens’ Vader agreed as Brutus tried to work out how to spell ‘Furbaby’.

The dogs were re-writing the script and there was nothing Pippin could do about it except maybe cry quietly into his blanket.

12108937_10153178944288317_4608486600355458464_nPippin and Brutus

(Photograph by Samantha Rose)

Rocco being the director, had tried to be so good and take his job seriously temptation got the better of him and after his cigarette he ended up fighting with himself in the corner and calling himself a bastard.

‘We shall continue to walk until we find Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus’ Fat Harry commanded as Brutus and Vader dragged their feet to follow him with Brutus occasionally demanding to know ‘if they were there yet as he was tired and could he go for a poo?’

‘Brutus will you stop dragging your bottom!’ Fat Harry growled to Brutus.  The audience laughed as Brutus was indeed dragging his bum across the floor.

‘My anal glands are bothering me’ Brutus said fretfully and did it so much that he could have changed his name to ‘Scooter’.

Anyway, as the three (not so) wise men (dogs) arrived at the inn, they were met by Nica and Shelby who were playing Mary and Joseph.  Chewy lay swaddled up in a puppy blanket in the crib as the baby Jesus, full of his own hair and importance, he looked boot-faced at Vader, Brutus and Fat Harry.

‘So what have you brought me, it had better be good and none of that cheap shit from down the road’ Chewy said.

‘Don’t be so ungrateful’ Fat Harry snapped at him, secretly jealous that Chewy wasn’t in the Famine Club and not on a diet.

Nica was filing her nails and looking quite tired of it all while Shelby was playing games on his mobile that he had sneaked in under his robe (his mums curtains).

Fat Harry marched forward clutching a bone and said to Mary and Joseph ‘I bring you a bone from my home’.

Nica stopped filing her nails and looked puzzled ‘Shelby isn’t it meant to be gold, frankincense and myrrh?

Shaking his pointy snout, Shelby replied ‘Not sure, I thought it was a squeaky toy myself or perhaps a beef chuck bone from South Street Pet Shop.  Never heard of myrrh, what is that?’

Rolling her eyes to the heavens, Nica ignored him and made a mental note to teach these dogs about the real Christmas nativity.

‘Quick, you are next!’ hissed Rocco to Vader.  Nodding sharply towards the stage, he gave Vader the thumbs up.

Vader shuffled on the stage clutching his squeaky Star Wars toy.  ‘I bring you my finest Star Wars toy – but don’t chew it as my Mum bought it for me’.

‘Thanks’ Chewy muttered and as he tried to take the toy, Vader gripped it harder.

‘You are meant to give it to me don’t you know’ Chewy sighed impatiently.

‘Yes, but it’s mine!’ Vader protested and a small tug-of-war ensued over the toy and it nearly ended up in a fight until Nica coughed loudly and distracted them leaving Vader looking upset with his tongue hanging out like a Christmas ham.

Placing his head in his paws, Pippin Pringle shook his head.  These dogs were making it up as they went along, could this get any worse? Oh my god yes it could because now it was Brutus’s turn as the third wise man.

Pippin not being a very religious dog, did in fact say a tiny prayer to save him from future embarrassment caused by Brutus at Christmas time, well at any time – actually, all the time.

Now I haven’t put this in my stories before but Brutus is not very good at reading, he has difficulties and is normally helped out by Bronte who writes stories out of pictures as Brutus can tell a thousand words from a picture.  Brutus has spent many a time in the wrong place because he can’t map read that well and the group do make allowances for him.

And on this occasion, Bronte had done some drawings on a small piece of paper that nobody knew about except for her and Brutus and as for what they contained, you shall have to wait and see.

Anyway, back to the story.

‘Your turn Brutus, you are on!’ Rocco whispered, well not really whispered – kind of shouted more or less.

Brutus glanced up and could see the faces of the audience, were they laughing at him?  Suddenly he felt unable to speak and now the time had come for his own lines, he had completely frozen in fear and had lost his nerve.

I sat in the audience feeling quite sick for my big brown gentle giant, secretly praying that he would regain his nerve and be able to remember his lines.  Denise Pringle, Denise Smith, Rachel, Harriet, Carolyn, Gabrielle, Jeni, Hepsi, Kim and Ian, Fran, Brendon, Sophie, Robyn to name but a few, were all on the edge of their chairs wondering just what Brutus would do or say next.

‘Oh god, he can’t remember his lines’ thought Nica who was doing a very good  impression of innocence with her Mum’s designer silk blue scarf around her head as she stood over the baby Jesus’s crib which contained Chewy who was now chewing his anus through his new King suit from London.

‘What’s happening?’ demanded Chewy as he looked up.

‘Shhhh, we are waiting on Brutus, he has stage fright’ Nica whispered.

‘What is going on?’ mouthed Pippin to Rocco who shrugged his shoulders.

‘I don’t know, he has forgotten his lines I think.  I hope he doesn’t have diarrhoea like he normally does’. Rocco growled.

A painful silence hit the audience, some of the dogs from West Coast Dog Sports were there and had already laughed at Brutus when he ran in the wrong direction at lure coursing that time.  They would have a blast with this episode.

Dee’s ridgebacks sat in their chairs and held their breath, Eugene the angry Afghan was so nervous that he was smoking cigars while Millie the border collie covered her eyes with her paws and took occasional glances to see what was happening.

Suddenly Brutus looked as though he was going to burst into tears.  With his bottom lip quivering, he scanned the audience for his Mum (me).

Brutus moved towards baby Jesus’s crib while clutching his precious Tony Abbott doll in one paw and a piece of scrap paper that Bronte had given him earlier and on that piece of paper were a few very simple brightly coloured drawings and nothing else.

Fat Harry and Vader stared at Brutus who was busy trying to unfold his crumpled bit of paper so that he could see it.

Clearing his throat he looked at the first drawing and saw a cartoon of some budgie smugglers, the second drawing was of Lexie’s beautiful baby boy Xavier wearing a romper suit with the letter ‘J’ on it and the third drawing was of a Christmas tree with presents on it and a large paw behind it.

‘Bloody hell, how is that going to make sense?’ Fat Harry thought to himself as he sweated like a joint of gammon underneath his robe.

However, it didn’t need to make any sense to Harry or anyone else, it only needed to make sense to Brutus – and the pictures that Bronte had drawn for him literally painted a thousand words if only Brutus had the sense to open it and look at it but instead, he scrunched it into a ball without even realising what he was doing.

‘I have come to give my ……..’ Brutus stuttered and then promptly farted because he was so scared.

‘Jesus Christ!’ Fat Harry muttered and then wrapped his robe around his snout while poor Nica pretended that she couldn’t smell it and just held her breath.

‘Did someone say Jesus?’ Chewy piped up and stuck his little brown head out of the crib and peaked around him.

‘We were talking about an earlier model’ Fletch growled.

All eyes were still on Brutus who was frozen with fear and could only focus on the eyes of every dog and human in the audience while imagining the bristling disapproval of Rocco from the side of the stage.

‘Brutus, look at me, look at me’ Bronte whispered secretly willing the huge brown dog to ignore everyone but her. ‘You can do it Brutus’ Bronte said calmly as he caught her gaze and frantically looked for an escape.

IMG_7627Bronte is Brutus’s biggest supporter

(Photograph by Samantha Rose)

‘I want my Mum’ Brutus said to nobody in particular.

‘Oh dear, he wants his Mum, I can be his Mum’ Lily from QLD whispered to some of the other QLD group – Shine, Amex, Diamond, Keno and Toppa.

‘I guess you can’ Stella butted in, ‘But you will have to fight me first – because I would also like to be his Mum, let’s just say that he brings out my maternal side’.

The dogs all stared back at Brutus who had dribbled a bit of urine down his legs because he was so scared.  His long legs were shaking so much that it was a wonder that they were able to support him.

With his sheet wrapped around him, wearing a huge pair of Croc shoes (Dash had insisted that they wore them in biblical times and Brutus believed him), Brutus stared at Bronte in the hope that she would know what to do.

Bronte smiled and stared at the piece of paper in Brutus’s hand and gestured for him to open it out to look at the pictures.

With his paws shaking, Brutus straightened out the piece of paper and looked at the drawings on it.  Suddenly he remembered what he had to say and after an embarrassingly painful silence, he said in his deep voice ‘I present my favourite Tony Abbott doll to the baby Jesus’ and then added ‘But please don’t chew it as I would like that back, and….. and my Mum said that I am a good boy’ Brutus finished.

Everyone in the audience laughed, ‘Priceless’ Eugene snorted as he wiped his eyes.

‘That’s my boy!’ Bronte said to herself and grinned at him.

Rocco was furious as the dogs were changing the scripts to suit themselves and was that angry that he told himself to ‘Piss off’ in the mirror and head butted his own head which in turn made him cry for his Mum Gwynneth who was in the front row.

‘Here come the comes the donkey!’ Yelled Vader, totally forgetting that wasn’t meant to be his line, but give him credit he said it so enthusiastically that everyone in the audience cheered and clapped for the donkey which was being played by Bear the greyhound.

‘Hi everyone, the name is Bear, pleased to meet you’ Bear growled in his funny voice while his best mate Zumba – also a greyhound did a thumbs up as a gesture of support.

‘Excuse me, can we finish the show please, this is totally about me so can we get on with it’ Chewy piped up from his crib.

‘Don’t mind me, I shall just take this back’ Brutus growled as he snatched his Tony Abbott doll back.

‘Actually, as you are not in the Famine Club, I shall have this bone back’ Fat Harry barked.

‘I shall have my Star Wars toy back as well’ Vader added leaving Chewy with no ‘gifts’ and a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

‘Excuse me, can I have those back please, I do believe they are mine?’ Chewy shouted but by now the dogs had taken their place to do the end of the show.

Fearing that there would be a huge row over the ‘gifts’, Pippin decided to do the final part to the show.

Speaking quickly Pippin addressed the audience and forgetting his well rehearsed speech, he had to totally wing it and wing it he did.

‘And so it happened, Mary, Joseph had their baby in the barn, the wise men came and delivered gifts to the baby Jesus and then took them back.

‘Everyone learned the art of being helpful and kind and no-one ever got gastro again and everyone ate satin balls forever and the Famine Club was banned – The End’.  Pippin finished.

The audience stood up and cheered, barked, clapped and yelped so loudly that the door dogs Teddy and Sultan thought there had been a fight and had barged in ready for action.

Shelby, Nica, Brutus, Vader, Fat Harry, Bear, Zumba and Chewy all took a bow as everyone clapped and stomped their feet and they wouldn’t rest until Pippin came to the front where he was lifted on to Brutus and Vaders shoulders so that everyone could see him.

‘Where is Starbuck?’ Nica asked Shelby.

‘Oh she was hanging around up in the air last time I saw her’ Shelby shrugged his shoulders, ‘She has probably gone with Apollo somewhere I expect’.

And so the clapping continued, they clapped for the ‘actors’, they clapped because they were all friends, they clapped for Brutus for being brave but most of all they clapped for their boy Pippin Pringle.

IMG_0459Pippin Pringle

(Photograph by Samantha Rose)

‘So beautiful, I am so proud of my boy’ Denise Pringle wiped a tear from her eye.

‘That is my brother!’ Bronte squealed happily.

‘And he is our friend as well’ a very proud Dash declared and every single pointy snout in the area nodded vigorously in agreement.

As the dogs lined up to sing the closing song for the Nativity, Madam Gigi took her place at the piano.  ‘Is everyone ready for the final song?’ Gigi said in a dramatic voice that she saves for special occasions including stealing lettuce of her Mums plate.

They were ready, they were more than ready.

‘Hark the herald angels sing

Glory to the new-born king’

‘Give us food and give us toys

Our Mums say we’re full of joy’


‘We didn’t mean to dig the garden

Belch in your face and not say pardon’

‘Hark the herald angels groan

We deserve some juicy bones’

‘We’re all good dogs for our Mums

Who wipe our faces and dirty bums’

Iggy ChoirTestThe two door-dogs – Teddy and Sultan stood inside to watch the closing of the show. They were silenced by the high-pitched voices of the Iggies/little dogs and the deep Forrest Gump voices of Brutus and Vader.

‘Teddy are you crying?’ Sultan the door-dog laughed at his brother Teddy and then handed him a handkerchief.

‘My eyes are leaking, that is all’ Teddy sniffed and then blew his nose noisily into Sultan’s handkerchief before handing it back to him.

‘You are such a girl’ Sultan snorted but then in a rare public display of affection, washed his brothers jowls and then nearly vomited as they were so slimy.

Rainbow Bridge – They Walk Among Us

Bowie the big white greyhound and gate-keeper of Rainbow Bridge sat looking down at the Christmas nativity.  He was surrounded by several other dogs as they all celebrated the success of their show and declaring Brutus a ‘good boy’ for pulling it together in the end.

Bowie 2Bowie – the Keeper to Rainbow Bridge

(Photograph provided by Fran Forbes)

Netti the white terrier stared up at Bowie the greyhound, ‘Just once – please, just once, I miss her so much’ Netti pleaded Bowie.

Max and Lampard the boxers, Rema the whippet, Zeus the French Mastiff, Bruno and Juniper the cats to name but a few also stared at Bowie as their eyes spoke volumes.

MaxMax the boxer

(Photograph by Lexie Goldsmith)

‘Five minutes, just five minutes and make it count’ Bowie whispered and then added ‘Let’s go’.

And so down they went to mix once again with the people who loved them so very much – their owners who may or may not have felt their presence.

‘You know, I could have sworn I just saw Netti’ Denise said to me, ‘our first Christmas without her, I guess my eyes are playing tricks with me’ she added sadly.

‘We walk among you Mum, you just have to believe it’ Netti whispered to Denise.  Sitting by her Mum’s side, she gazed up at her and relished in every single second of every single moment.

IMG_1161Netti – they walk among us

(Photograph by Samantha Rose)

(sounds of shouting)

‘Samantha, I have mucous and snot all down my legs and it looks like French mastiff snot but Teddy is chatting to Brutus so it can’t be’ Sophie sighed impatiently and then frantically tried to clean the snot off her legs which was clear for all to see but what she couldn’t see was her old dog Zeus wagging his tail as he stood beside her.


(Photograph by Sophie Henshaw)

‘Come on everyone, time to go’ Bowie said firmly and as quickly as they appeared, the animals started to fade away to go back to Rainbow Bridge.

Back at Rainbow Bridge

Everyone was back and in their rightful place, everything was as it should be.  Bowie was holding court to the dogs and doing a roll call.

‘Was it worth it?’ Bowie asked them all.

Tails wagged, barks and cries filled the air as the visit was declared a resounding success.

Back at the Christmas Nativity

The dogs were all set to go home, Pippin was doing a head count as they all got on to Jeni Sach’s mini bus.

Brutus and Vader were already on the bus seeing who could lick the windows for longest while Bambi, Teddy and Sultan had pressed their bums on the window to see who had the biggest anus (Teddy) but Bambi ruined it by saying that Teddy could store park benches and small children up there.

‘Has anyone seen Starbuck?’ Pippin stormed back inside and yelled out to everyone that Starbuck was missing.

Rocco blushed and buried his head in his dogs magazine and lit another cigarette to distract from his guilty face.

‘Help, I am up here!’ a tiny high-pitched voice could be heard.

‘Where on earth is that coming from, it is Starbuck’s voice?’ Madam Gigi said looking worried.  Then she, Bronte, Zara, Olive, Lily, Diamond, Shine, Ayla and Stella started looking for her.

‘Excuse me, I am up here, this is NOT funny, get me down right now!’ – sounds of shouting, growling and barking could be heard.

‘What on earth is going on, Starbuck what are you still doing up there?’ Pippin barked.

‘I am stuck, Rocco hoisted me up high and tied me to the water pipe’ Starbuck growled angrily.  Still dressed as the guiding star, she had indeed been hoisted  up and tied to a large water pipe that ran across the ceiling and had been there all that time.

‘Rocco!  I thought it was meant to be peace, goodwill and good behavior to all dogs?’ Pippin shouted at the top of his voice.

I would like to tell you what Rocco said next but it was unrepeatable.

Back at Team Pringle’s House

The Iggies arrived back at Team Pringle’s house totally exhausted.  Those that took part in the play were still in costume including Starbuck who was in her little star outfit.

Brutus, Vader and Fat Harry were wearing their robes, Brutus and Vader’s had poo stains on the back and Fat Harry looked 5 months pregnant as he had stuffed an entire bag of Denise’s satin balls under his robe for later.

Pippin stood up to give his traditional Christmas speech which was usually about how the year went, good stuff, bad stuff etc.

‘So what have you all learned this Christmas?’ Pippin asked them all.

‘That Starbuck makes a good star’ Rocco snorted.

‘That Rocco is naughty’ Starbuck growled back.

‘That I am not as generous with my toys as I thought’ Vader mumbled as he remembered not wanting to give Chewy his Star Wars toy.

‘That I get scared and don’t know what to say sometimes and I just want my Mum’ Brutus blushed as he addressed everyone.

‘That’s OK Brutus, you came good in the end’ Bronte reassured him.

The other dogs had suddenly gone quiet.  They realised that it was a huge thing for Brutus to get on stage today and even though he can’t read properly, he made up the words from the notes that Bronte had given him.  Not just ordinary notes either, these were pictures and drawings to help Brutus use his imagination to remember.

They also realised just how far Bronte had gone to help her special friend, none of them had any idea that she had done this for him.

One by one each of the dogs dug deep and recalled how each of their friends had done something no matter how small, to help the others and once they started with the stories, they carried on chatting while Pippin just sat and listened with an immense feeling of pride for his little group.

IMG_9515A Proud Pippin Pringle

(Photograph by Samantha Rose)

‘I would actually like to thank Rocco’ Starbucks said quite suddenly as the room fell silent and the dogs stopped talking.

‘Me? Why do you want to thank me for?’ Rocco replied looking shocked.

‘You may have pulled me up and tied me to the ceiling but for the first time in my life, not only was I a star but I was taller than all of you’ Starbuck replied simply.

Everyone stared at Rocco as he hung his head down, ‘Sorry Starbuck, I didn’t mean to do that to you’.

Starbuck stared at him and wagged her tail, ‘That’s OK, I’ll bite your bum later!’

‘If you can reach it that is!’ Rocco laughed.

‘Are you saying I am short?’ Starbuck protested.

Rocco stared at the tiny little dog with the big personality, ‘Short? you are many things Starbuck, but short is not one of them’

IMG_9059Starbuck – big dog in little body

(Photograph by Samantha Rose)

‘What have you learned today Pippin?’ Bronte asked her brother.

Taking a deep breath Pippin replied ‘I have learned that you can’t plan everything but you if you work hard you will get there in the end – with a bit of swearing of course’.  Pippin winked at Rocco as he said the last bit.

‘Right you lot, does anyone have anything left to say or can we get on with our bones and toys?’ Pippin smiled at everyone.

‘Yes, I have’ Brutus said in his deep voice.

‘Go on Brutus’ Pippin encouraged him.

‘Thank you for being my friends and letting me think that I am little when I am in fact big, it means a lot to me, so what I want to say is Merry Christmas everyone’.  Brutus blushed.

11251767_10153227879133317_8772442562849242960_nBrutus – little dog in big body

(Photograph by Samantha Rose)

The others stared at him as he tried to hide his embarrassment by pretending to wash his bum.

‘No problem my friend, no problem’ Pippin smiled, ‘Merry Christmas everyone! Now, these bones are not going to eat themselves so let’s tuck in’.


The End


Samantha Rose (C) Copyright December 2015

Thanks and Acknowledgements

IMG_3151Merry Christmas from Brutus

(Photograph by Samantha Rose)

I would like to thank everyone that has supported Brutus’s page and my blog over the past 12 months and for the nice comments that I have received.

I hope you all have a lovely Christmas wherever you are in the world and there will be plenty more tales of Pippin, Brutus and the gang in 2016.

Samantha and Brutus






The Christmas Nativity Iggy style- Part One

Pippin Pringles House

It was two weeks before Christmas and Pippin Pringle had called a meeting at his house, he had important things to discuss and barely any time left in which to do it.

It really was a full house as Iggies and non-Iggies sat around doing their thing, chatting, farting, gossiping and drinking dog beer.  It promised to be a rowdy meeting that’s for sure.

‘I think everyone is here’ Bronte said breathlessly.  She totally loved these meetings and holding court in her home which for Bronte meant showing the girls her wardrobe, her bum and stuff.

Vader the boxer and Brutus sat in the corner playing a game of strip poker with Zara, Olive and Ayla who being very innocent, did not grasp the severity of removing ones collar in front of the boy dogs.

Mako was sitting in a padded chair with a large stool to support his broken leg for which the plaster on it, was bigger than he was.  Surrounded by squishy cushions that Bronte had tucked behind him, he had Gigi, Nica and Lily fussing round him.  Ari had offered to pop dog biscuits into his mouth but Nica had said that was a step too far and stopped him.

Augie and Dash were playing a game called ‘Find my testicles’ which quickly ended when Shelby presented his and smacked Augie in the face with them which resulted in Pippin having to intervene as things always got messy when testicles were involved, especially when Phoebe made attempts to tie red ribbons round Shelby’s balls and sang ‘Jingle Balls’.

Fletch, Apollo, Woody, Cino, Pino, Carlo, Chewie, Starbuck, Bambi, Soobi, Rocco and Fat Harry were practising for the Iggy Choir and were taking it in turns to sing the high notes.  I would like to tell you that it sounded beautiful but ever since Brutus had told them to try and sing in a deep voice, it had completely changed direction  and they sounded more like they had bloat.

‘Twinkle twinkle little star, I think Ayla wears a bra

‘Up above the bone so dry

‘Anal glands have made me cry,

‘Twinkle twinkle tell my mum

‘That the vet did poke my bum’

Iggy ChoirTestThe Iggy Choir

(photograph by Google and the heads of the dogs by their owners)

Staring up from his computer with a pained expression, Pippin looked horrified.  What on earth was happening to them, they all had such angelic voices at one point but they have not been the same since Brutus and Vader came on the scene and taught them how to change the lyrics to songs and sing like Forrest Gump.

‘Right everyone, I have an announcement to make’ Pippin yelled as his glasses slid down the end of his pointy snout.

‘A Christmas announcement’ Bronte piped up and grinned to everyone.

‘How exciting, I totes love Christmas!’ Zara squeaked (using ‘teen’ speak) and then elbowed Ayla in the ribs and made her cough up some dog chow which shot across the room and was quickly gobbled up by Dash.

‘First of all, I would like to open the meeting by confirming who is officially in the Famine Club which for those of you that don’t know, is the diet club that our owners have put us in because they think we need to lose weight’ Pippin said in a firm voice.

Several dogs shook their heads in horror, shock, disgust and sympathy as it was every dogs nightmare to be in the ‘Famine Club’ – well except for Nica as she quite enjoyed a good vomit on a Saturday night, well she enjoyed shitting the bed as well but that’s another matter.

The Famine Club was Pippin’s favourite subject because ever since his Mum Denise had discovered he had been stealing the cat food and had put him on a diet, he had a bee in his bonnet and was determined to rally up all those on a diet and start a revolt with a plot to take over fridges all over Perth.

Fat Harry, Brutus, Dash and Pippin all put their paws up as Pippin nodded approvingly at the support.

‘I can see my ribs’ Fat Harry said fretfully as the other dogs in the Famine Club nodded their heads vigorously (snouts like angry biro pens).  Fat Harry pinched lumps of fat on his belly and wiped a tear from his eyes, ‘See – look how skinny I am’.

‘I have eaten my ribs as I ran out of food’ Brutus added and then demonstrated his situation by patting his belly and telling everyone how ‘sucked in’ it was.

‘I have had to steal the food from the mouths of small children’ Dash said in a wobbly voice as he fought back the tears.

‘I have eaten table legs and toilet rolls’ Pippin blurted out as he didn’t want to be outdone but then remembered that he is head of the group and should really know better about exaggerating.  Still, it was desperate measures and all that but it was a good job his Mum Denise hadn’t heard all of this as she would have been horrified.

The Iggies were muttering about how dreadful it all was and even dogs that were not in the Famine Club were starting to get distressed out of sympathy.

Once it had been established that several Iggies and Brutus were in the Famine Club, Pippin nodded in Bronte’s direction to take notes about strategies and how to raid the fridge and blame it on the cat.

‘Right, next on the agenda is our annual Christmas event and this year we are going to do the Christmas Nativity’ Pippin beamed at everyone.

‘Christmas nativity? Are you sure?’ Madam Gigi asked Pippin in a shocked voice.

‘Oh my god how exciting!’ Zara and Olive said at the same time.

‘Bloody marvellous, can I be the donkey?’ Fat Harry shouted.

‘I can play the camel’ Brutus barked hopefully.

‘All this enthusiasm is very encouraging, but Bronte and I have to discuss this first with Nica who will be helping with the casting but even if you don’t get a part in it, you will play your own part by supporting everyone else and cheering’ Pippin said to the group.

‘If I can’t play the camel, could I be one of the stars in the sky?’ Brutus said in a quiet voice.  Knowing that Brutus couldn’t read very well and was dyslexic, Pippin was well aware of how hard Brutus would find it to learn complicated lines.

‘You are already a little star Brutus’ Nica reassured him kindly and washed his face with her pink tongue, making Brutus blush.

‘Madam Gigi, do you have anything to add on this?’ Bronte asked Gigi who was now pouring herself a large glass of dog wine and wiping her forehead as she took a swig.

‘Yes, I have something to say’ Gigi said in a shaky voice, and taking another slug of wine she replied ‘God help us’.

‘Good, great to see such enthusiasm – I have an idea for parts and I shall announce it later on and the play will be at the end of the week’ Pippin smiled and then asked Bronte to hand round some carrots and dog chow, carrots to the Famine Club of course and dog chow to the rest of the group.

‘I think I would make a good little star’ Brutus whispered to Vader.

‘I could be a wise man’ Vader replied just as Rocco snorted dog beer up his nose laughing.

‘I reckon I could be the baby Jesus!’ Chewy shouted to everyone and at that point even Vader burst out laughing.

And so the Christmas play was cast, Pippin remained tight lipped about the situation right up until the end of the evening and as the dogs left Pippin’s house, there was much excitement in the air and the dogs all had their script and some had even started to learn their lines.

‘This is going to be, well how do you say it, interesting?….’ Nica said to Madam Gigi as the girls waited outside Pippin’s house for their lift home.

‘That is one way of putting it’ Gigi hiccuped in a drunk voice, ‘As I said, God help us’.

Pippin’s House

‘Are you sure you know what you are doing getting our lot to do a Christmas Nativity?’ Bronte asked Pippin who was trying to open the fridge with his snout because he was peckish.

‘Of course I do Bronte, a Christmas Nativity for the Iggy club, what could possibly go wrong?’

To be continued……….