Jail Break Dog!

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Donkey – picture taken prior to jail break

It has been reported that Donkey Dundee has broken out of jail early yesterday morning with the help of someone called ‘Sue’ – now there are in fact two people called Sue but as both of them are said to have innocent faces, it is not sure which one did it.

Bolt cutters, James Bond type helicopter, balaclava masks, water pistols and Cliff Richard CD’s were used in the breakout which also involved Donkey being smuggled out in a pillow case whilst slung over someones shoulder whilst they shouted ‘Go go go!’ like they do in films.

Donkey Dundee who is due to fly out of Karratha on Saturday 12th January, has not been seen since since the breakout and is thought to be in hiding.  Some people have claimed to have seen him wearing a pink wig, blue dress with a padded bra, high shoes and pink lipstick and calling himself Shirley whilst others say that he is in the guise of a German Shepherd dog with short legs and large genitals.

Either way, he is out of prison and whilst he should be congratulated on ‘beating the system’ so to speak, whether or not he can beat TC Narelle is another matter entirely.

A SWAT team consisting of Tori, Clara, Deidre and myself will be arriving at Perth Domestic Airport tomorrow morning, we shall be dressed in disguise so nobody including ourselves will recognize us, where the official ‘hand over’ from Australian Air Express will take place.

Will it be televised? Who knows, not me that’s for sure but once Donkey lands on Perth soil, he has stated via a secret source that his desert days will be over and he plans to become a beach bum.

This is Samantha Rose reporting for the Donkey Diaries – updates as they happen but please, keep your fingers and legs crossed that TC Narelle does not throw a spanner into the works.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Donkey Versus TC Narelle

Who will win the battle?

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TC Narelle has now been reported as a Category 3 cyclone due to reach a Category 4 at 8am tomorrow morning I can exclusively reveal – well it isn’t really exclusive, in fact it is common knowledge but there is something about putting the word ‘exclusive’ in the sentence to make it sound better.

Residents in Karratha and Dampier (to name but two areas) have been told to prepare their homes for storms and winds.  Dogs have been asked to bury their bones and cats told to hide their fish, kennels have been glued to the ground although one dog with large ears has been reported flying through Dampier despite several attempts to catch him.

Donkey remains in prison (aka kennels) although a rumour has been circulating in the area that a ‘break out’ has been planned – who is involved in this is anyone’s guess but I bet if you asked one of the two ‘Sues’ they would know something about this possible ‘jail break’ but don’t ask Donkey as if he is implicated in any way, he could end up doing ‘extra time’ which could involve listening to Cliff Richard as punishment.

Donkey fans wishing to track TC Narelle can click on this link for updated information:

http://www.bom.gov.au/products/IDW60281.shtml

Serious Donkey ‘stuff’

Donkey’s tag came today, which makes it more official now that he is going to be our dog – I am really pleased with the quality, and am thinking of ordering a new one for Rocky from this company – Red Dingo Dog Tags.

Here is the photo – obviously personal details have been hidden in case female dogs become obsessive and follow him around, and start throwing their underwear at him.

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Things left to do before Donkey’s arrival

Well, we have had new fake lawn laid today as the huge concrete garden was tearing up Rocky’s paws and cutting them, and the garden is so enormous, we needed to have a soft area for him to play on, not to mention our garden was the ugliest garden in the history of gardens.  Now it looks a lot better but is still ugly in other parts but hey, we are getting there.

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65m2 of fake lawn and that is only a small piece of our garden

Now the lawn is laid, we have until Sunday to organise the sandpit – Donkey and Rocky are going to have their own designated sandpit – not one of the clam shells as it won’t be deep enough, they are going to have a bigger area and it is virtually bottomless in terms of digging.

We just need to build a perimeter around it and it is a choice between a wooden frame from Bunnings, or if we can lay bricks and build one, that would be better but probably would take too long so if any of my Perth friends have any suggestions, please message me as the sandpit is a vital part of Donkey’s training and enrichment and we need to sort it ASAP.

Toys – I shall be going to the charity shops to see if I can pick up some toys to fill up the toy box in the garden.

Kennel cushion – my husband Abdel is on the look out for a second hand kennel cushion to go in Donkey’s kennel, there is a high chance it could be chewed so we are not going for new until he settles down.

Bowls – his food bowls will be purchased this week.

Council dog registration – our local council have organised this to be posted.

Dog collar – now Donkey appears to have one huge neck – or is the photo deceptive?  Anyway, I have a selection of collars and if none of them fit, I will buy him a new one.

Vet Check – Due to a high number of cases of Parvo Virus in the Perth area, I have a vet coming round on Thursday to give Donkey a second booster which ordinarily he would have been OK but to be safe, he is going to have another C5 vaccine to boost his protection.

So that is it for now, we all just have to pray that TC Narelle doesn’t change Donkey’s plans.  Donkey has been sighted smoking and drinking in his kennel in a bid to calm his nerves, Rocky is on the phone to him regularly trying to keep his spirits up but suffice to say that Donkey is hugely concerned and when he was asked for a comment about the cyclone, he just replied ‘Narelle is a bitch for doing this’

More Donkey updates as they happen.

On a more serious note

TC Narelle is predicted to be a severe tropical cyclone with several towns on alert, and people being advised to get emergency kits ready and prepare their homes/family. It has been on the news several times this afternoon and it isn’t looking that good.

I can’t imagine how worried everyone in the area must be so I am sure I am not alone in wishing everyone in the Pilbara Region to stay safe and hope that this passes without causing too much destruction.

Stay safe everyone

Donkey causing a storm in Karratha!

Despite being in prison, (aka – kennels) Desert Dog – Donkey Dundee is still managing to cause a rumpus in Karratha and is expected to compete with Tropical Cyclone Narelle for attention in the next couple of days I can exclusively reveal.

TC Narelle is currently a Category 1 and was located at 2pm WST 790km north, northwest of Broome and is moving west at 16km per hour.

For those that are interested in tracking Narelle and may I suggest those following the Donkey Diaries follow TC Narelle religiously and even do a rain dance to the gods of garlic so that Donkey can make the flight safely to Perth, here is the tracker for TC Narelle:

http://www.cyclocane.com/narelle-storm-tracker/

If the cyclone hits Karratha there is a real chance that Donkey may not make his flight to Perth this Saturday.  This has caused so much distress with the dogs from South Beach (Freo) that are waiting to meet him that there has been threat of a canine uprising.

Now don’t laugh at this because the last uprising involved Rocky herding up several dogs into the ocean, whipping them up into a barking frenzy, one of those dogs included a senior deaf kelpie bitch who was sighted sticking two paws up to her owners when they tried to retrieve her and it was some time before I could go back to that beach as Rocky had taught them some dreadful habits.

When Donkey was asked about his thoughts on TC Narelle, he replied casually ‘Cyclone Narelle? I can fart with more power than she can blow’

Whilst we can all only pray that TC Narelle doesn’t hit Karratha or if it does, not too hard, you can bet your bottom dollar that in a kennel somewhere in Karratha, there is a medium sized dog/alpaca curled up in his kennel praying even harder so that he can begin his new life in Perth and make that home, his last one.

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Donkey praying for TC Narelle to bugger off and not ruin his plans

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Free the ‘Karratha One’ – Donkey Update!

I only have this story second hand, for I was not there and can only relay what I was told via the ‘jungle drums’ and through heated telephone calls made by Donkey to Rocky, begging him to pay the bail to get him released, so I shall tell it as best I can.

Donkey was taken to prison (kennels) I believe yesterday, because he was left unattended with a mastiff (cross) bitch in the foster carers home and saw fit to empty the food cupboards and eat a substantial amount of Pad Thai noodles amongst other things.

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Donkey in his cell yesterday

He had also ‘tasted’ some garden furniture, now Rocky backs this up as he too has tasted garden furniture (and BBQ covers) and said that they all taste shit so fully understands Donkey’s desire to taste things as every dog should for the first time and even a second time, and we won’t discuss Gordon’s continuing penchant for tasting, eating and enjoying towels – even at the ripe old age of nearly 12, which he should have grown out of but hasn’t and has graduated to clothes including my bras.

Apparently there was a huge mess in the house and Donkey tried to deny it but as noodles were stuck to his beard, the evidence was clear.  Rocky had already primed him by telephone telling him to blame the ‘Alsatian dogs’ that are responsible for global canine naughtiness and have been a safe excuse for dogs all over the world but Donkey was a crap liar and couldn’t carry it off.

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Who made that mess – not Donkey!

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Donkey said it was those German Shepherds that did it!

His other crimes include corrupting the resident dog – the mastiff cross bitch and leading her astray to the point she has started to flash her genitals at anything male.

Donkey was appointed a lawyer and fully took advantage of the ‘You have the right to remain silent’ kind of rule but sort of blotted his copybook by farting at inappropriate moments.

It is thought that Donkey will spend his last week in Karratha, in the ‘prison cell’ (AKA boarding kennels) until his flight to Perth on Saturday 12th Jan, where he is expected to land at around 10.10am where he will be met with the official Donkey Welcoming Committee consisting of myself, Tori, Clara and Deidre.

If you would like to attend the welcoming committee, please let me know and we can organise a meeting point.

As for Donkey, it is thought that he has smuggled in some dog porn, a nail file, a pen and a mobile phone and a Cliff Richard CD in case he gets constipated.

In preparation for his arrival, a disk for his collar has been ordered, a new collar will be purchased next week once I know how fat his neck is, plus a new food bowl.  We have the kennel, just need a kennel cushion and a ‘camp bed’ for outside plus some toys so keep an eye out if you see anything on Gumtree and let me know.  The toys I am going to scout around the Salvo’s so he can have a full toy box by the time he arrives.

Donkey Donations

SAFE Karratha have done a fabulous with the homing process for Donkey, their efficiency in processing the adoption and sending out the paperwork has been excellent, not to mention the support that they offer with the rehoming process.

Donkey’s stories are going to continue as Donkey becomes a part of our household, thus making up the ’3rd family member’ with Rocky and Gordon.

If you enjoy these stories and would like to donate to SAFE Karratha, their bank details are as follows:

SAFE Karratha/HQ Bank:
Account Name:
BSB Number:
Account Number: 
Commonwealth Bank 
Saving Animals From Euthanasia Inc
066-531 
101 488 05

Remember every little donation helps and if I believe that my animal stories can raise money for SAFE Karratha, then I will make them a regular feature.  Interest is already being generated in other countries – Cyprus, USA, UK so I shall make it my mission to keep writing the stories to help their cause.

All I ask, is that if you do donate, if you could reference it as ‘Donkey Dundee’ so that SAFE know who it is in relation to.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013