My animals will play a regular part in my blog so I thought that I would introduce them to you so that when I do write about them, you will know exactly what and whom I am talking about.  I will state now that my blog will often contain bad language because my cat and dog are prone to what can only be described as ‘potty mouthing’ and swear so if you are easily offended, then perhaps this blog is not for you.

Now for those of you that have animals and truly love their animals will know that animals can ‘talk’, you just have to really listen to them and once you open your imagination and belief that they can talk, they will become very loud and you will get little peace from the ‘noise’.

How do they talk? I hear you ask, well many of you that may have told off your dog or cat for being noisy, will know only too well that the sulky growl from your dog or high pitched ‘meow’ from your cat really means ‘fuck off’ or even ‘bollocks’.

Take a look at their faces, I mean a REAL look, check out their expressions, the look in their eyes and you will start to build a very different relationship with your furry friends and you will soon see that I am right, that not only do your pets communicate with you, they do so loudly.

Anyway, enough of that – allow me to introduce my pets.

Meet Gordon

Gordon is nearly 11 years old, he is British Short hair crossed with Siamese and was born in Ealing, South West London, United Kingdom.

When we moved to Perth in March 2008, we had very little money and I wanted to bring Gordon to Australia with me and started the ‘Get Gordon Down Under’ campaign and had to raise $3000 for his flight, documentation and quarantine.  This involved writing blogs and stories in return for donations, the donations came in from all corners of the globe, requests came from everywhere to write children’s stories and after a few months, I managed to raise the cash to pay for Gordon’s passage to Australia.

Gordon landed in Perth in March 2008 and did his ‘time’ in Byford Quarantine, he now lives with Rocky, a Kelpie dog in a 3 bedroom house in the suburbs and is an indoor cat and despite being well fed, he has a habit of chewing towels, shoes and more recently, clothes.

If he is not fed by 5pm, he will bite you in increasing increments of pressure and if you ignore that, he will trash the house.

Gordon enjoys playing with Rocky and allows himself to be herded up on a daily basis, have his ears cleaned and his head chewed.  More recently he has discovered the joys of chewing and scratching the leather sofa.

His favorite food is Snappy Tom – Tuna Temptation, he shits like a man in his litter tray and swears like a docker but maintains that because he is senior, this is allowed.

Meet Rocky

Rocky is a 4 year old Kelpie dog that lived on a farm and was re-homed at 4 months old.  Due to a ‘blunt injury’ (kick), he now has hip dysplasia and a damaged patella joint.

His crimes include chewing the mortgage documents, digging 4 feet under the retainer wall, stealing cushions, chewing teddy bears, chewing Gordon’s head,  herding up Gordon, children and other dogs and pulling washing off the line.

Rocky is a professional swimmer and can often be seen on South Beach in Fremantle wearing kelpie type budgie smugglers.  He has been known to swim out to Rottnest and now has to swim with a 20 metre rope tied to his collar to stop him attempting to swim the length of the Indian Ocean.

Rocky loves to go camping and enjoys trips to the country where he can bark at kangaroos and emus and will also admit to being scared of cockroaches, doves and ghekos.

His favorite food is Royal Canin, his favorite toy is his rubber chicken and he enjoys an occasional bowl of Guinness – he also swears and has a habit of urinating on the heads of other dogs that he calls his ‘mates’.

So that is about my animals – they talk, they swear, they have character, come to my house and see for yourself if you don’t believe me.

Now I want you to go and have a look at your animals and come back to me and tell me what they have said to you.

Until later.

Samantha Rose (c) Copyright 2012