Category Archives: Animal Magic

Brutus and his trip to the vet

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This morning I took Brutus to our local vet to have his stitches removed and to say that Rocky was devastated that he wasn’t going, is an understatement.

‘Where are you taking him?’ Rocky demanded, his ears and tail erect, and his body language showed that he was pissed off.

‘To the vet to get his stitches removed’ I said firmly and clipped Brutus’s leash onto his blue collar. His little brown body wriggled as he was so excited.

‘Bastard, why does he get to go and I don’t, can I have my stitches removed too?’ Rocky asked, looking really jealous now.

‘Rocky you are such a dick head, you don’t have stitches!’ Gordon sniggered from the safety of the dining room table. Rocky flipped him the bird and stuck his tongue out back at Gordon.

‘Yeah, but they don’t know that’ Rocky replied. In the end he became so upset because he wasn’t going that I had to shut him up in the laundry room to calm down.

And as for the language that came out of that kelpie dogs mouth as I put Brutus in the Yaris and secured him to the seat belt in the back, well that was truly shocking and the last word I heard from Rocky’s mouth was ‘wanker’.

We got to the vets a bit early and had to wait outside which was fun with a partially leash trained pup who was thoroughly over excited and trying to herd up birds and stones – adopting the ‘cattle dog crouch’ when they go down to herd.

‘Brutus, you can’t herd up stones, they are not going anywhere’ I laughed at him.

‘But they might be, you never know’ was all he replied and then tried circling the stones to make sure.

A car pulled up in the driveway and I could just make out the head of a small white fluffy dog in the front seat next to his owner.

‘Puggles, come on get down’ An elderly man got out and spoke to his dog.

‘Piss off, I am not jumping that height, are you trying to break my cruciate ligament or something?’ the white dog snapped and then glanced in the mirror to smooth down his beard and make himself look presentable.

It was a tense stand off and Brutus looked interested in the stubborn white fluffy thing that resembled a sheep, that refused to jump down from the SUV.

I will in his favour say that I don’t blame him because many injuries can be caused from dogs jumping in/out of cars and Brutus is terrified to jump in/out of my car so I always help him.

Puggles the white dog (or sheep according to Brutus) was eventually lifted down and you could hear him bossing his owner around and saying things like ‘watch my stitches’ and ‘don’t mess with my fur’.

Brutus looked enchanted at the dog (sheep) and looked up at me and said ‘Is that a sheep, can I herd him?’ which made me laugh. Brutus may be a kelpie/ridgeback but he is 95% kelpie in behaviour and looks so cute when he adopts the herding position.

Fuggles walked up to Brutus and promptly pissed on a pile of polished pebbles, he lifted his little leg as high as it would go and strong yellow urine dribbled down his pristine white coat.

‘How did you do that?’ Brutus asked him in admiration. Brutus is still at the squatting stage and when he did try and lift his leg to copy Rocky, he fell over. Mind you, Rocky didn’t cock his leg until he was two years old – and I am not kidding you either, very late developer. In fact Rocky barely has a penis, it is more like a mealworm.

‘Puggles has been de-sexed, he is here to have his stitches out’ The owner said to me and then shook his head as Puggles tried to dig up the concrete floor with his hind legs to ‘spread himself around’.

‘He is only 8 months old’ His owner added.

‘Brutus was done at 16 weeks, the cat couldn’t take it any more and Rocky was tired of having his bed and head urinated upon’ I said almost apologetically. The old man looked horrified that I had robbed Brutus of his manhood far too early but I didn’t care, Rocky has a stash of dog porn in his kennel and he and Brutus always like to read it of an evening over a can of beer and some nuts.

Brutus sniggered at the white dog and said ‘Why are you digging up concrete?”

‘Spreading my piss around’ Puggles said matter-of-factly and then added ‘I am still very alpha even though they made me have the op’ Puggles looked accusingly at his owner.

‘What op?” Brutus asked – such an innocent boy and a virgin too, bless his socks.

Puggles looked at Brutus as though he were stupid and lit a cigarette and exhaled deeply. Flicking ash into the pavement, he rubbed it in with his paw, making it go all smudged and grey.

‘De-sexing op, so you had it done as well?’ Puggles asked Brutus.

‘Yeah, I kept mating the cat and humping my brothers head and pissing on his bed/head/everything’ Brutus replied sadly, almost missing the experience. Gordon I will add, is very glad he has been done because he only has a tiny bottom and it is certainly not meant for amorous puppies with a thriving sex hormone production.

Just then the nurse opened the surgery door for us all to go in and I popped Brutus on the scales and am pleased to announce that he now weighs 12.6kgs. If you remember when he came out of hospital he was around 7.6kgs – I think so he is doing marvellously and is looking rather good.

I went back to the counter to give the nurses the weight for his records when I heard a commotion.

‘Puggles, you naughty boy, you can’t do that here!’ Puggles owner looked horrified.

Puggles sat by the door and had just finished taking a large shit by the mat.

Brutus still being of the giggly childish schoolboy mentality, snorted with laughter – he takes after me you see, make me laugh and I snort loudly, I can’t help it.

Brutus was snorting and giggling and yelling his favourite expression (you all know what it is!) ‘Turd legs’ to Puggles who looked thoroughly pleased with himself at the monster turd he had dropped by the mat.

A large cat in a pink basket pursed his lips together, disgusted at the scene and yelled ‘Could you have not waited until you had used your litter tray?’

‘Chew on that big boy that will teach you to rip my balls off!’ Puggles shouted to his owner and then promptly turned around and gave him full view of his fluffy white bum which now had nasty brown bits on the side. My goodness am I glad my dogs dont have fluffy white bums that could be called poo magnets.

The nurse calmly came round from the counter armed with rubber gloves and some paper and something to clean the matt with and as quickly as it was produced, the offending turd was picked up and disposed of. But not before Puggles yelled to the nurse ‘There are plenty more from where that came from’ and vowed to shit in his owners bed when he got home.

‘Don’t you ever do that Brutus’ I told him, trying not to laugh myself, really it was very funny and I do have a toilet sense of humour, so does Rocky and actually Gordon as well. I have lost count of the times that Gordon has had a hard piece of turd stuck to his bum and has released it and played ‘ping pong’ with it in the hall way.

Brutus was called in by the nurse to have his stitches out, off he trotted with his super abnormally long tail wagging behind him – you can see the vertebrae of his tail ‘clicking’ by the tail bone when he wags it, as though it is too long for his spine/body.

The nurse said he was a very good boy but his stitches had become too tight so I have to watch it doesnt weep or get sore and that I had brought him in just at the right time to get them out (9 days) but either way, they were more than ready to come out.

I bought him his heartworm/multiwormer as well – he now requires the same size heartworm treatment as Rocky which is good. Vet predicts he may reach up to 25 kgs so could be the same size as Rocky or slightly bigger. He is going to be a chunky old ‘unit’ though I should imagine.

We said goodbye to Puggles (Turd Dog as Brutus called him) and I lifted Brutus into the car and secured him and we drove home.

‘Where the hell have you been?’ Rocky demanded and inspected Brutus thoroughly as a mass sniffing of genitals took place from both dogs.

I let both boys outside to let off some steam and I could hear Brutus excitedly tell Rocky about what had happened at the vet with Puggles.

‘Really? He took a shit on the mat?’ I heard Rocky say, he sounded quite jealous. Bastard better not try that when I take him to the vet.

I still have memories of when I worked at the Royal Veterinary College as a Veterinary Nurse and my whippet bitch Rema took a shit on the platform inside London Marylebone Station (pets can travel on public transport in the UK).

She did several hard nuggets that rolled all over the platform and thank God I had a poo bag because I was scrabbling around a busy commuter platform trying to recover nuggets of turd. Rema blamed it on the high fibre diet, the commuters blamed me for the smell and all I can say is thank god I was in a nurses uniform so I could pull off the ‘I am an animal nurse’ kind of face and deal with this shit every day.

So you can forgive me for thinking those days are behind me and I do not want to encourage my boys to open their bowels in inappropriate places.

Abdel and I are taking the boys out for a walk later, just need to keep an eye on the suture site as the nurse said but I think it will be OK.

It has gone very quiet in the garden so I had better check on the dogs and hope that whatever they are planning to do, it does not involve what Puggles did at the vet this morning.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Brutus – Puppy Temper Tantrums

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Image‘But why can’t I play with the cat?’

Puppy temper tantrums – they all get them, all pups go through the temper tantrum stage and it is up to you how you deal with it as in the old saying ‘you make your bed, you will lie in it’ kind of thing.

Now Abdel always puts Brutus to bed in his crate – it is the routine, at about midnight, both boys are let out for a pee in the garden and Brutus is put into a fresh clean crate, nice clean towel to lie on, fresh water and his teething toy.

Last night Abdel got in later than normal so while he was having his shower, I put the dogs to bed. Rocky being a good boy went straight for a pee outside and then went on his bed.

Brutus looked horrified and I mean horrified, one would think that I had smashed his Kong toy and offered it to the birds.

‘You never put me to bed, never – where is dad?’ Brutus demanded.

‘Brutus, just shut up and go to bed’ Rocky growled, he was still pissed off for Brutus biting his genitals earlier (don’t ask but I think George Michael may have been playing on the radio at the time).

Shutting the crate, I went off to bed and only seconds later I heard Brutus barking and shouting his head off in protest.

‘Open the door now! If you don’t I shall shit everywhere and do handstands!’ Brutus yelled – very loudly indeed.

(sounds of metal bowl clanking on cage and newspaper being shredded up)

‘Just ignore him’ Abdel said from the living room.

Except that I couldn’t because I knew from the sounds that were coming from the laundry room that Brutus had no water, he had tipped it up and I couldn’t have him going all night with no water.

‘It’s because you didn’t put him to bed’ I told Abdel and Abdel had to agree with me because it was true – this is the second time he has done this and the last time was because Abdel didn’t put him to bed as well.

I went into the laundry room and sure enough, the nice clean towel was soaked and bunched up, the newspaper shredded, the water bowl upside down and Brutus was very wet indeed.

Making puppy growls and noises, Brutus then stood up and wriggled his entire body in that guilty sheepish kind of way while Rocky sat on his own bed and called him a girly turd legs.

I let them both out into the garden and then cleaned his kennel, put fresh paper, water and a towel in there. I never realized just how precious newspaper and towels would become until I got Brutus, never has my washing machine been used as much as it is now and I have even started to greedily stare at free papers in shopping centers and will think nothing of walking out with piles of them under my arm. That is puppy-hood for you I guess.

Telling Abdel that he could put Brutus to bed, I went back to bed myself and sure enough, when Abdel brought the boys back in, Brutus not only went back to his crate like a good boy but his crate was also immaculate this morning when he was let out.

THIS MORNING

‘I don’t want to wear brown socks, I want black legs like Rocky!’ Brutus whinged when I let him outside this morning.

Rocky stopped sniffing the garden and looked at Brutus as though he couldn’t believe his ears.

‘Twat, those are your bloody legs and you are stuck with them!’ Rocky snorted with laughter as Brutus gazed down at his long brown legs with white socks on his paws.

‘I want my testicles back!’ Brutus sobbed and then started to bark trying to look tough but the only thing he succeeded in doing was making me giggle and making Abdel laugh from the bedroom as he heard him as well and it is rather hard to take Brutus seriously when he barks as his entire mouth caves in as his tiny teeth don’t seem big enough to support his head.

‘Dear Dog in heaven help me’ Rocky sighed and lit up a fag and blew smoke in funny shapes from his nostrils.

‘Is it tomorrow yet?’ Brutus asked Rocky, he is due to get his stitches out tomorrow and is quite excited about it, only because Sunny the red heeler told him he could get prosthetic testicles like space hoppers which is a total lie but Brutus believed him.

Rocky shook his head and went to sit down by the tree and said that no, it was not tomorrow yet and no, he could not have his testicles back and no, he cannot change the colour of his legs.

‘Are we there yet?’ Brutus asked me and then picked up some stones in his mouth, chewed them for a bit and gobbed them out on the floor.

Rocky took a piss by the side of the fence and Brutus happily stood under him and ended up with urine all over his head. Brutus looked thoroughly over excited by it as well.

As you will see, the curiosity of a young pup is equal to that of a child and you get all the same daft questions that no matter how many times you answer, there will be new questions being asked all the time.

‘My tail doesn’t fit!’ Brutus shouted and then started to chase his own tail until he eventually got dizzy and fell over and looked like Stephen Hawkings in a magnet factory.

Rocky looked at me and shrugged his shoulders and said ‘I was never like that was I?”

Gently reminding him that he herded up some children who were on their boat on the Murray River one time, children I might add that didn’t need ‘saving’, I told Rocky that he would have to be patient.

‘Rocky?’ Brutus squeaked in his high pitched puppy voice.

‘Yes Brutus’ Rocky replied – oh god, what was he going to ask now?

‘Can I sniff your bum?’ Brutus asked happily.

‘Piss off!’ Rocky snapped and as he ran off to get his tennis ball, Brutus stuffed his nose up Rocky’s bum anyway.

Brutus has a thing about bottoms, he likes cleaning Gordon’s bottom and has even stuffed his nose up Sunny’s bottom and Sunny has a bottom like an over ripe peach with a hole in it. Brutus nearly lost his head up there but we won’t talk about that.

The joys of puppy-hood!

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Brutus and the Garbage Men

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Brutus officially started his guard dog training today – well I say guard dog training, Rocky is teaching him the ways of the world and who to bark at, who to threaten, who to abuse from the fence – that kind of thing.

Abdel and I were in bed when we heard the familiar sound of the bin men doing the garbage collection – you know the sound of bins being lobbed across the street.

Rocky always barks but he always wait for the dog over the road to start first. Now this dog has a rusty bark that all elderly dogs have that can normally be heard around 11pm when people come home from the pub.

The rusty bark is normally translated into ‘Keep the noise down you piss head, I am trying to eat a bone’ Then all the dogs start yelling for the drunken yobs to be quiet and before you know it, the whole suburb has kicked off in canine uprising.

Well this morning I heard the obligatory rusty dog bark from the senior dog from over the road.

I will make no apologies for the language because if you only knew what your dog yelled at from the confines of your garden, you would be shocked to high heaven.

When you see dogs running up and down through the garden and jumping up at the fence barking at the postmen, Telstra people, religious nutters – they are not just barking. Oh no, just you listen and you listen good because they are shouting things like ‘piss off or I will eat your balls off’

Some of the more rebellious dogs shout out ‘wanker’ at Telstra engineers. Honestly I have seen Rocky do it and even flip the bird at the Water Corp people while Gordon flashed his arse in the window and called them ‘Turd legs’.

Anyway, I digress as usual, Abdel and I were lying in bed with Gordon when we heard the rusty dog bark which was the official signal for all self respecting dogs to stand by their gates and being the wave of abuse that occurs on garbage day.

‘The wankers have arrived!’ The elderly dog barked in his rusty voice.

Rocky ran up to the next level of the garden, his hackles up like the spine of a dinosaur.

‘Oi, wanker! Get off my land’ Rocky yelled. Dog with rusty bark shouted back ‘Good on ya Rocky!’

Brutus is only a baby and doesn’t even get left in the garden on his own as his guard dog instincts have not kicked in yet, whilst Rocky’s are superb and he is an excellent guard dog.

‘What do I do?’ The little brown dog asked Rocky who looked so important as he did ‘wanker’ gestures with his paws to the bin men.

‘Just copy me lad!’ Rocky said and then as the garbage truck picked up our recycling bin, Rocky had worked himself into a pitch of hysteria and shouted ‘Get off my bin you fat twat!’

Honestly, the language was dreadful and now the old woman’s dog next door but one, was joining in and calling the bin men ‘Derro Face’.

The staffie in the house opposite who isn’t the brightest dog on the block, had gone one better and had a moldy bone in his mouth and was yelling ‘Don’t you touch my bone you turd mouth’ in an Italian accent as his owners are Italian.

Rocky I might add, does have to accept some responsibility for the bad language from the dogs in my suburb as he has at some point in their lives, taught them a selection of words that he had learned as a working dog on a farm down South. I mean, how those working dogs talk to the sheep would shock the Pope himself.

In the meantime Brutus had decided that it was now or never, he had to defend his property and even as a baby dog, he still had teeth that he could savage with. Yes, some of those teeth had fallen out and what was left no longer fitted nicely in his puppy mouth as they were either loose or too small but he could still bite the ankles of many and gas them with puppy breath.

Taking a deep breath, Brutus followed Rocky to the next level and said to the black kelpie dog that now looked like a dinosaur with his hackles up ‘What do I shout?’

Rocky sighed impatiently ‘I don’t know, just look and act scary, this is a hostile invasion of our garbage bins’ And with that, he carried on flipping the bird, shouting and swearing at the truck as it picked up the bins from each house, emptied them and threw them back on the ground.

Brutus felt nervous, this was his time to prove himself as a man so he stepped closer to the fence and started to yell.

‘Save your children! Save your families! Burn the bitch, gouge her eyes, drown the fishes, kill the pirates, steal my bones and shit on your floor!’ Brutus sounded almost triumphant and then yelled ‘Turd legs’ (Rockys favourite expression and one of mine as well)

‘Wanker bin thieves…..’ Stopping mid-sentence, Rocky stared at Brutus and said ‘Drown the fishes, kill the pirates, what the hell does that mean?’

Brutus blushed but by now was over excited at his own bravery and promptly pissed himself.

Gordon sat at the window and was shouting his bit ‘Gingers have souls too’ and then added ‘Drown the fishes?, what is he on about?’

(sounds of raucous laughter from other dogs in the suburb, all taking the piss out of Brutus, his puppy voice and what he was saying)

‘You have to swear Brutus, there are no fishes to drown’ Rocky hissed in the little dogs ear. Really he had embarrassed him now, there would be no living this down.

‘Bum hole’ Brutus shouted and then let out an enormous fart that even impressed Rocky.

Nodding approvingly, Rocky did the thumbs up sign to the Italian staffie over the road who then cheered back.

And so the barking went on, Rocky and the other boys yelling violence and obscenities at the garbage truck and Brutus still shouting about pirates and fishes, trying to look like a big dog, not really sure as to what he was barking at but copying Rocky and trying to look as menacing as a baby dog could with milk teeth and legs too big for his body.

Honestly, it was like dog borstal. All the dogs running up to their fences yelling rude stuff and calling the garbage truck ‘shit heads’ and ‘wankers’.

Some dogs took it further and flashed their genitals and bums to the bin men, one dog from over the road – an elderly border collie went one further and said he was assaulted by the garbage truck and now fears for his life.

‘Did I do OK?’ Brutus asked Rocky, he felt totally exhausted after that, it was time to eat some stones and kick up some dog shit – Rocky had done a nice white dog poo from having his bone the other day, although I never let the dog turd dry on my grass, it is picked up as soon as it falls out of their bums.

Rocky who was still confused about the fishes and pirate comments, looked at Brutus and stared at him.

After what seemed ages, he nodded and replied ‘You are getting there lad, you are getting there’

Ten minutes later the suburb was quiet again, garbage bins lay in various positions along the pavement where they had been picked up and dropped. People came in/out of their homes to wheel their bins in.

The dogs were all quiet and it were as though nothing had happened.

Brutus went back to the fence where he could only just see outside.

‘Oi!’ Brutus shouted to a woman who was walking by.

She glanced round to see who was talking – she must have ‘spoken dog’ to understand Brutus.

‘Turd legs’ Brutus yelled and then ran back to where Rocky was, so fast that he fell down the last step.

‘Good lad Brutus, good lad’ Rocky grinned and then nodded to Brutus ‘Next time I will teach you what to say to Telstra people’

Both dogs sat by their kennels, Brutus felt so grown up and aside from his fishes and pirates comments, he felt as though the morning had been a success.

Rocky was secretly proud of him as well – he would make a guard dog out of him yet.

Have a lovely day everyone.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Brutus’s First Trip to the Beach

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‘Are we there yet?’

Our trip to the beach on Saturday sort of went well except that Brutus shouted to anyone that would listen and anyone that wouldn’t that he was being murdered and tortured and how on earth could the other dogs enjoy running into the ocean with such passion?

Rocky was severely pissed off because he wanted to go swimming but we didn’t let him as he needs one of us to go in with him. He is such a strong swimmer he can out swim us and normally has to be dragged back to shore screaming and kicking in a full blown kelpie temper tantrum.

‘This is your fault I can’t go swimming, I am going to bash you for this!’ Rocky sneered at Brutus who was trembling at the sound of the Corellas in the trees above him.

(sounds of a dirty evil human laugh)

‘What the hell was that?’ I asked Abdel – seriously, this laugh was evil and very loud.

‘Parrots’ Abdel replied and nodded towards the tree where this white cockatoo was on a low branch and sure enough was laughing loudly. Another one in the tree was shouting ‘hello’ repeatedly, I can only assume they were once pets or extremely imprinted with human contact.

Still it was somewhat amusing hearing parrots laugh and say ‘Hello’ to you.

‘Bloody hell – a talking bird, that is so not normal!’ Brutus cried.

‘Bloody hell, a talking dog!’ The Corella shouted to his mate in the next tree.

‘Oi, long legs! Whatcha doin’?’ One of the parrots shouted to Brutus.

Brutus looked up and sighted a Corella smoking a fag from his branch – and that bit is true, you ask Abdel.

‘Yeah, I am talkin’ to you’ The Corella said in a strong Aussie accent.

Brutus looked up in shock and then at Rocky for support. ‘Don’t look so surprised, all animals can talk’ Rocky said; momentarily breaking out of his ‘I want the ocean’ kind of trance.

We carried on walking, well I say that, it was quite hard as Brutus suddenly found his legs too big for him and kept tripping up over his huge paws.

‘Who on earth gave me these legs and paws, they just don’t fit!’ Brutus said fretfully as he tried so hard to walk normally like Rocky does.

It is however, quite funny leash training a puppy, Brutus follows Rocky’s lead and Rocky becomes a bit ‘special needs’ when he gets to the beach as he lives for the ocean.

‘Must get into the ocean, must get into the ocean, where is my tennis ball, must get into the ocean’ The little black kelpie dog said in almost robotic fashion while dragging Abdel across the pavement.

Then he started sideways prancing like a badly coordinated racehorse and tripping over his legs. When he finally composed himself and realised that the parrots were not going to kill him, he decided that having everyone look at him and smile at him because he looked cute was actually quite nice.

‘Are you here to see me? Oh how kind of you’ Brutus said happily to everyone that looked at him. His long clumsy legs and large paws kept tripping him up which made people laugh and one guy even went up to him and gave him a kiss and a cuddle. Mind you, he appeared off his face on dope judging by the smell coming from his van but still, he showered Brutus with hugs and kisses which made Brutus truly believe that everyone was on the beach purely for him.

When we got to the beach Brutus looked totally horrified and terrified at the same time. The waves crashed onto the beach, lots of other dogs happily ran into the ocean, barking and chasing toys.

‘Oh let me swim!’ Rocky pleaded and when we told him he couldn’t on this occasion, he launched into a stream of abusive words that included ‘Turd legs’ and ‘Twattage’ – which is very rude indeed even for Rocky.

‘Tsunami, we are all going to be swept away!’ Brutus shouted hysterically as a wave came near his paws.

‘Bloody girl dog, look at ya!’ A large bull Arab sniggered and then came too close to Brutus and sniffed his arse which angered Rocky somewhat.

‘First time on the beach?’ A Labradoodle bitch asked Rocky whilst nodding in the direction of Brutus.

Rocky sighed and said yes, it was his first time on the beach and he was embarrassing the hell out of him.

We managed to walk up and down the beach once before Brutus threw himself on the sand and refused to walk any more on grounds that the waves were sent to sweep him away and make him sink to the bottom of the ocean to swim with the fishes – he had seen the film ‘Godfather’, or was it ‘Dogfather’? Either way, he wanted to get away from the water and pronto.

A reluctant Rocky was dragged away from the ocean leaving his doggy friends looking on in dismay that he wouldnt be staying to swim with them.

‘Call me!’ Mouthed the bull Arab to Rocky and did the phone gesture with his paws – you know the one I mean, humans do it as well.

Shrugging his shoulders, Rocky smiled apologetically and said to the Labradoodle ‘See you next week?’

The Labradoodle blew him a kiss and said that yes, she would see him next week but only if obedience class was cancelled.

We all made our way to South Beach cafe where Brutus made friends with a whippet bitch called Poppy. He was really quite taken in with the skinny little dog with a snout so pointy it could almost be a weapon, and washed her ears for her and did some ‘puppy munching’ by the side of her mouth and she in turn, loved him back.

It all got too much for Rocky, the frustration of not being able to swim and everything and when Brutus put a paw on Rockys back which he does all the time at home, Rocky snapped and really told the little pup off and actually displayed teeth.

‘Do not show me up in front of my mates!’ Rocky snarled at Brutus who blushed and his head creased into a worried frown. Sighing in a way that only a reprimanded dog can, Brutus sank to the floor and made eyes at Poppy to try and get sympathy – Poppy looked back and pulled an expression that told Brutus ‘Putting ones paw on another dogs back in public is not cool’

The South Beach canine crew were quite interested to see Rocky’s new brother and agreed that whilst he is far too young to bother with, he could make for an interesting friend when he is older but only if he gets over his girly fear of water.

(Don’t tell Rocky I told you but Rocky used to have a fear of water – even the smallest amount and now he is the finest swimmer South of the River).

When we got home Brutus was exhausted and went straight to his crate to sleep. Later on when I fed the dogs, I heard him talking to Rocky.

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Rocky and Brutus discuss their fears

‘Rocky, I shall never be brave enough to go in the water’

Rocky who was half asleep on his bed took a deep breath and replied ‘You will one day I promise’.

‘Rocky’ Brutus asked again.

‘Yes Brutus’ Rocky was being ever so patient with him.

‘I bet you don’t know what it is like to be scared of water’ Brutus said, his voice wobbled, he was going to cry. So many new things, so many naughty things that were easier to do than behaving, so many distractions and so much to learn, he was thoroughly overwhelmed by life itself.

The shiny black kelpie (beetle dog) glanced at Brutus thoughtfully. Little did Brutus know that when Rocky came to us with a damaged hip caused by someone kicking him, plus he came to us with a phobia of water that was so severe that it could only be explained by someone punishing him and scaring him so badly using water that Rocky couldnt even have the stuff near him.

‘Yeah, I know what it is like to be scared and I know what it is like to not be scared if that makes sense’ Rocky said quietly.

Brutus stared at Rocky and placed his head on his front paws to sleep.

‘Yep, that makes perfect sense’ Brutus replied.

And with that, both dogs went to sleep.

Happy Easter everyone.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Brutus – a bit of stuffing goes a long way….

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Rocky and Brutus – the look of innocence (not!)

Cass who is Brutus’s foster Mum bought him and Easter present yesterday, a large round purple furry ‘thing’ although I am not sure what it is, but Brutus loves it.

Rocky has been exhibiting signs of jealousy in the past few days, stealing Brutus’s toys from his mouth – Brutus does not chew his furry toys, he treasures them and God bless, he has not discovered the joys of ripping open a toy and spreading it round the garden – well not counting the canvas bone.

I suspect that Rocky is still upset about his beloved canvas bone being ripped apart although he played the majority part in that crime.

Which is why I think Rocky did what he did this morning and in doing what he did, he has unleashed the monster in Brutus.

6am this morning I heard Brutus yelling ‘Get up and feed me or I will crap the bed!’

So I got up, let the boys out, went back to bed for half an hour and then let Brutus back in for his breakfast – everything going swimmingly.

Kept Brutus in for half an hour or so to digest his meal and then said to Abdel ‘I am going to give Brutus his purple furry thing in the garden to play with to stop him digging – he loves that toy’

‘Are you sure?’ Said Abdel, he was half asleep.

‘Yes I am sure’ I replied firmly, Brutus loved that toy – what could possibly go wrong?

I left Brutus carrying the purple furry thing proudly round the garden looking so happy, I even got in my car with a smile on my face at the sight of the cute puppy with the purple furry thing in his mouth.

Fast forward to 8.16am when Abdel called, the conversation went something like this:

‘You know that purple furry thing you gave Brutus?’ Abdel asked, I told him yes, I did.

‘Well it is now all over the garden, everywhere and you know who did it?’ Abdel asked.

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It’s snowing – lots of fluff!

He went on to tell me that by the time he went out to check on them, the damage was done and it was Rocky that grabbed it from Brutus and apparently yelled ‘Come on you big girl, I can show you what to really do with a stuffed toy!’ and Brutus hung on to it while Rocky flung him round the garden, the two dogs joyously ran around with a bit of the purple thing in their mouths.

Stuffing was everywhere, Rocky had managed to grab the purple thing and was pulling its entrails out and Abdel who was sniggering from the laundry room window yelled out ‘Rocky, what do you think you are doing?’

Abdel told me that Rocky actually looked embarrassed that he had been caught out and had tried to blame Brutus about the whole affair.

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Rocky denies all involvement despite being caught with stuffing in his mouth!

‘Brutus did it, it wasn’t me!’ Rocky stuttered and then launched into insulting Brutus saying that he wasn’t a proper kelpie and called him names like ‘Derro dog’ and my personal favourite ‘Turd legs’.

There was no denying it, Rocky and Brutus both had a mouthful of stuffing, the purple thing was all over the garden and more to the point, Brutus has now discovered that instead of lovingly snuggling up to his soft toys at night, they are far more fun when they have been disemboweled and spread around the garden.

The evidence was there for all to see, Rocky is the main culprit although is remaining tight lipped on the situation until he speaks to his lawyer – AKA Sunny the red heeler from down the road and Brutus is claiming to be under the age of responsibility.

ImageDon’t blame me, I am young and innocent!

So none of you laugh please, this is so not funny – whoever would have thought that a large purple thing would have gone quite so far.

Over and out.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Brutus Update – Thou Shalt Not Chew Drains

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Brutus and Rocky establish friendships and boundaries

Brutus has been so hungry that trying to keep up with his growth spurt in terms of energy requirements/expenditure has been very hard so I have bitten the bullet and doubled his dietary intake in the morning and evening feed and just left the smaller meal midday and one before bed.

I kid you not when I say that when I get up to him in the morning he looks very ‘ribby’ and thin so I don’t think he is ready to cut down his meals yet. I am assuming that because his growth was stunted when he was so sick, his body is now demanding nutritional catch up which is fine, he is a growing boy.

This morning I was a bit late with his breakfast as I wasn’t well last night so slept in, I had let him out at 6am and he wasn’t happy about it.

‘What, really?’ Brutus said and then did a loud puppy yawn – you know the type that I mean.

Rocky pretended he was still asleep, he had no intention of taking a pee this early.

‘Yes really, come on you have to go in the garden’ I said, trying to sound firm but felt bloody knackered at the same time. I didn’t blame the pair of them, I wouldn’t fancy going out at stupid o-clock but needs must when toilet training.

I let them out and went back to bed with the intention of feeding him an hour later but actually woke up at 8am, went to give Brutus his newly increased portion of puppy meal.

‘Is that for me, all of it, really?’ He shouted excitedly and then bragged to Rocky who vowed to bash him for showing off as Rocky is on strictly controlled dietary intake to keep his weight constant as he has HD.

Leaving Brutus to scoff his breakfast in the crate, I went outside and did a ‘poo run’ and put the toys back in the toy box – the dogs love that toy box as they have such fun removing them. I enjoy filling that toy box, I have ordered Brutus a set of Nylabone teething keys from the USA as it is half the price of what they cost here even with delivery and next week we are buying him a clam shell sandpit from Bunnings with some ‘safe sand’ so he can have his own ‘legal sandpit’. (spoiled – much!)

That was when I noticed the ‘crime scene’ – I found a round plastic grid, semi chewed. ‘Where the hell did that come from?’ I thought, scratching my head, scouring the garden.

Spotting a large drainage hole uncovered, I realised that Brutus had pulled off the plastic from the drain hole, leaving the drain open, large enough so he could have got his head stuck if he so wished.

Damn it, it was a large hole as well – you know the round drains – they are quite big.

Carefully putting the plastic back over the hole, I then placed a couple of small pavers over it, thinking that is bloody marvellous as when it rains, it won’t be able to drain so a trip to Bunnings is in order but if any of you that have puppies that have discovered the joys of sewer drains, could give me some tips on securing the plastic grid so that Brutus cannot dig it up, I would be most grateful.

The garden looks like a bomb site so Abdel decided to sweep the fake lawn and remove the bits of fabric from the ‘bone incident’ the other day. You will notice there are a lot of ‘incidents’ of varying degrees of naughtiness, I do in fact believe that they could be put in a book for naughty dogs.

Well sweeping the garden is a challenge as you can see in the video below and whilst it is highly amusing to watch Brutus jumping around like a disabled springbok, it is nigh on impossible to sweep the garden with him in it, so that was given up as a bad job and we shall do it when he is in his crate to try and desensitise him because he also thinks that the vacuum is an alien which is out to kill the world and also needs attacking.

We are going to take him for a walk later, both him and Rocky, we won’t go far as he gets overwhelmed with traffic/sights/sounds, so baby steps and all that.

The main thing is he is very receptive to people and other dogs, which considering what he has been through is amazing.

Then tonight, Sunny – my friends red heeler is coming round, Brutus met him last night on his walk and Sunny is an alpha senior male dog and he is Rockys best friend, so I took Brutus to meet him on his own as Brutus is still being leash trained and needed 100% of my attention, that all went ever so well and both dogs got on just fine.  Rocky was insanely jealous and screamed the garden down when he saw me take Brutus out, he knew exactly where we were going and you could hear him shouting ‘He is my friend not yours!’.

So Sunny will come round tonight for a play date with Rocky and Brutus. Tomorrow Brutus will go to the beach and I will see how he goes there.

This morning my friend Dave brought his son round to my house and Brutus met him and instantly took to the gorgeous little boy who is almost a year old, Brutus seems to love people and was quite taken with the baby so that is also something I am pleased about because having missed out on some early socialisation when he was sick, it could have affected how he interacted with people later.

Finally, I just want to add when I first took on Brutus I was somewhat overwhelmed and thinking ‘how do I bring this puppy up’ because when you have a puppy you have a blank slate and how that dog turns out is pretty much down to you and that is daunting in my book.

I have had an aggressive dog before – a whippet bitch called Rema, she was aggressive when I got her and I thought I could change her and I couldnt despite having bahavioural therapy, she had to be muzzled in public and had even nipped people that had chosen to ignore my ‘please don’t go near her face’ commands. Not to mention if dogs got too close to her when she was on the leash, she would beat the crap out of them.

The sleepless nights of having a puppy, the eyes in the back of your head to keep an eye on them, the crying when they are crated, the chewing, the naughtiness which is really just normal puppy behaviour, well it is easy to become so wrapped up in how hard it is to raise a well balanced good natured puppy and subsequently miss out on the fun and energy that having a new puppy can bring.

It is easy to wish away the puppy years, the digging, chewing, naughtiness and wish for them to grow up.

But I have learned and am still learning with Brutus that every day he changes, he seems to grow and fill out each day, he is discovering his world, forging his friendship with Rocky and Gordon, he is being guided by Rocky and learning to find his place within our pack in the home.

And if you take a step away from the hard work of looking after a pup and marvel in the developmental changes that are actually occurring, and get a routine that works for all concerned, you will realise that raising a puppy is exceptionally rewarding – you get out what you put in basically.

Last night I watched Brutus and Rocky curled up together on the bed, this morning I watched Brutus wriggling his tiny body to greet me this morning. Looking round the garden and seeing the mass of toys scattered everywhere, I realised that whilst our lives are messier and harder with Brutus around, we wouldn’t be without him.

He is part of our family now, chewed drains and ripped up toys and all.

And quite simply, we love him.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Brutus and Rocky in ‘snow’ incident!

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ImageI don’t quite know what happened last night, I can only relay what I heard the dogs talking about but the evidence was clear for all to see.

The boys had a fine old time in the garden urinating on one another, sniffing each others bottoms, I heard sounds of growling and found Rocky on his back and Brutus ‘killing him’ and then the tables were turned when Rocky got Brutus’s entire head in his mouth and he was chowing down on him.

‘Rocky spit him out now!’ I yelled to him.

Rocky looked sheepish and spat a rather damp Brutus out, Brutus come running up to me wagging his super long tail which obviously gets in the way and then grabbed his tail and started chasing it like a special needs dog.

Telling him to stop chasing his tail as that is a rather bad habit for any dog to get in to, I distracted him with the canvas orange bone – big mistake, that is all I am saying – huge mistake!.

The evening went rather swimmingly as both dogs enjoyed burning off energy outside and it was lovely to watch them playing together and interacting, a bit like my very own wildlife show in my garden.

Fast forward to Abdel coming home from work.  As it is getting cold at night, Brutus is not liking being outside.  I thought of getting him a dog coat but he has threatened to shit on it, piss on it and failing that, eat it so that is out of the question.

Abdel was laughing at Brutus with his handlebar ears sticking out and his nose pressed up against the fly screen.  Rocky was nowhere to be seen but on closer inspection, I spotted him on the grass wagging his tail with his head down focusing on something on the grass.  What on earth had happened? – I hadn’t seen him look so happy since the possum incident but the least said about that the better.

Going out to check on the dogs, I saw white stuffing – everywhere, and by white I mean that white fluffy stuff that is used to stuff mattresses and toys.

‘What the hell?’ I said in disbelief and wondered where it could have possibly come from.  I checked Rocky’s mattress which was still in tact and in his kennel and that was there.

Abdel followed me out and said ‘what on earth is that?’

None of us knew so we asked Brutus.

‘Brutus – what is this?’ I demanded, the little brown dog put his head down and said ‘I don’t know’, then he looked up at me and said  ‘What are your thoughts?’

Then I saw Rocky with white foam all over his mouth and he was standing by the orange canvas bone which I might add was one of his favorite toys that he had owned since a puppy.  I knew he would not have instigated its destruction but once the foam was released, he would have positively relished in it.  Just ask Rocky what he and Winston the kelpie did to Winston’s bed over Christmas.

‘Rocky, what have you done?’ I yelled – the black kelpie dog looked at me with the white fluff stuck to his teeth/chin/mouth and pulled a non committal type expression.

‘You’ve been a naughty bastard!’ Gordon yelled from the laundry room window. Brutus sniggered as he loved it when Gordon swore in his ginger voice.

‘Don’t ask me, I know nothing.  Those bastard German Shepherd dogs broke into the garden, tied us up with gaffer tape and then spread this white shit around the garden and smeared it on our mouths so we would get the blame’ Rocky launched into an almost hysterical fever pitch explanation of the pretend German Shepherds that are responsible for canine naughtiness all over the world and blame ordinary household pets for bad stuff that their owners discover.

‘Rocky I know that you are lying now step away from that mess because I have to clean it up and at 10.30pm at night, I could do without it’ I sighed and then set about picking up copious amounts of white fluff from a fake lawn and I stress the words ‘fake lawn’ because try picking up white fluff from it, it’s bloody hard and akin to picking up diarrhoea.

‘Yippee! snow!, it’s snowing!’ Brutus squeaked and then set about jumping as though he had springs in his hind legs, and then started to try and run off with bits of fluff in his mouth whilst yelling ‘You were right Rocky, this is such fun!’

‘Bloody dobbing bastard!’ Rocky hissed to Brutus and vowed to bash him later.

It took a while to pick up the mess and the garden still looks like a war zone with the chewed camp bed and the stone collection by the door but hey ho, the puppy years don’t last forever do they? Although Rocky said that his have come back since the arrival of Brutus but I am hoping he is joking on that score.

I put Brutus to bed with his supper and tucked him in to his crate, made sure Rocky was on his mattress and turned out the lights.  As I walked off I could hear Brutus talking to Rocky.

‘Rocky’ Brutus tried to whisper but not very successfully.

‘Piss off, you dobbed me in and that is the cardinal Kelpie Tenth Commandment – thou shalt not dob in another dog for doing damage’  Rocky said sounding annoyed.

‘But Rocky…..’Brutus asked again.

Sighing, Rocky snapped ‘What!’

Brutus pressed his head against the crate and gazed at the little kelpie curled up on his cushion, he could just see Rocky’s huge ears making a shadow on the wall.

‘Tell me about the time you ripped the mattress up’ Brutus said excitedly – he loved a bedtime story.

(silence)

Rocky rolled over to be closer to Brutus’s crate and took a deep breath ‘Alright then’  He replied.

And I could barely hear after that but I could just make out Rocky saying ‘Once upon a time, I had this mattress…..’

But before he could finish his story, you could just hear some gentle puppy snores coming from the crate.  Brutus was fast asleep next to his stuffed elephant.

Rocky gazed at Brutus sleeping and looked at him kindly ‘Another time lad, another time’

And that was all I heard.

Happy Friday everyone.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Brutus – just one of those days!

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Gordon and Brutus planning ‘stuff’

I am not laughing today, honestly I am not and I don’t want to see any of you laughing either – especially Cath from CJ Animal Rescue as I can imagine her laughing the most.

I got home from work to a nice clean and dry crate and Brutus looking somewhat angelic saying ‘Please may I go and urinate’ He was trying to be polite and reminded me of a child creeping to its parents for stealing food from the fridge.

Opening the garden door I let him out and my eyes set on ‘the scene’ – obviously from early this arvo that hadn’t been cleaned up and I emphasise those words ‘the scene’.

My bottle brush tree had been dug enough to expose a large expanse of the beginning of the roots, several pieces of it scattered around the garden, couple that with the chewed bed and milk bottle – which was fine, the bed and the milk bottle but not the tree.

‘Who the hell did that?’ I demanded to know, Rocky lit up a cigarette (yes he smokes and I have told him not to), inhaled deeply and then blew smoke out of his nostrils that came out in funny shapes due to the shape of his nose.

‘Don’t ask me, I am a fully grown kelpie dog above such childish behaviour’ Rocky sniggered, not giving me direct eye contact, he then offered Brutus a puff of his ciggie, Brutus inhaled rather cockily and then choked on the smoke and looked throughly disgusted.

‘Was it you?’ I demanded to Brutus, he glanced down to the ground and said ‘It must have been the German Shepherd dogs that go around breaking into peoples houses and gardens, trashing them and the resident dogs get the blame’ Brutus said in a rather too quiet voice.

Sighing, I went to look at the tiny bottle brush tree which is the first thing I have ever managed to grow – well don’t count the ivy I planted against the wall of my Mums house in England which nearly ate away the brick and had to be professionally removed as that is still a sore point.

Ignoring the dogs for a moment, I tenderly tried to salvage my bottle brush tree and I suddenly heard Rocky yelling ‘Go on my son, good effort’ and I spotted Brutus taking a shit and my god the size of it, it could have been Abdels.

Not content with dropping the contents of his entire stomach in one spot, he then walks along in the ‘crapping pose’ with his tail stuck out like the handle of a water pump and does another pile further along, looks at me and then with his hind legs, kicks the shit and spreads it in a shower everywhere. All I remember thinking is ‘Thank god that is not diarrhoea’.

‘Beautiful’ I said aloud, ‘Just beautiful’.

‘I suppose you think you are clever, well I can forgive but I won’t forget’ I told Brutus as I picked up various lumps of turd in one hand and held his collar in the other to stop him ripping the bag open in his new found game. I am sure the neighbours heard me ‘talking dog’ and I am sure that they think I need certifying. But don’t judge me, I bet most of you reading this talk to your pets and I bet your pets answer back as well.

When you have a puppy, your life revolves around teething, turd, piss and hopefully NOT vomit, plus picking up dog shit as soon as it is produced because that really is to everyones benefit not to mention reducing risk of infection but for Brutus to enjoy kicking it around the garden, well that is not funny – unless it’s in someone elses garden with someone elses dog of course.

After their ‘garden games’ both boys were brought in and fed, I let their dinner settle and then let both dogs back out into the garden so I could sit down and watch Eastenders on Youtube and have some cheesecake, some rice crackers and an alcohol free beer – yes I know, healthy diet and all that.

Hearing Brutus ‘talking’, I crept to the door to see what they were up to.

Both dogs were by the bottle brush tree and you will never believe what they were doing. Rocky was giving the tree gentle tugs and using his front paw to poke it and Brutus was copying him!

‘You see, when I was a young pup not much older than you, I dug up an entire palm tree from a giant pot and dragged it round the garden’ Rocky told Brutus while poking the tree.

Brutus looked suitably impressed ‘Did you really?” The little brown dog asked in admiration.

Rocky nodded and recalled each and everything in his kelpie life; that he had dug up, chewed up and buried – including Winston the kelpie.

‘Go on, give it a poke’ Rocky said approvingly.

Brutus gave half hearted tugs on the bottle brush and Rocky bloody well joined in, I was furious – since when did Rocky go back to being destructive?

‘You naughty boys! Stop it right now!’ I yelled through the fly screen. Both dogs jumped in fright and Rocky said ‘Shit, she saw us!’, and Rocky actually shuffled off towards the shed and started whistling and pretending he was looking for tennis balls.

Brutus who hasn’t learned to lie yet, just crouched down in the soil and blushed.

There was some further chewing and chowing down on one another, Brutus tried to chew Rockys council rego tag and then made a big show of crouching down to herd up a wagtail which told him to ‘piss off’.

‘You expect me to take you seriously?” The wagtail laughed from the side of the fence.

‘Everything is a sheep’ Brutus said firmly, well as firmly as a puppy whose voice hasn’t broken could sound.

The birds in my garden are all friends with Rocky and Rocky tolerates them very well and even lets the doves come in the garden but he is guilty of telling Brutus that for the sake of making life easy, everything is a sheep unless it is a black cockatoo and that is akin to having the Queen in your garden and should be respected to the highest level.

Deciding that the dogs could come back in, after all Gordon had been fed and I was hoping they would all settle down so I could have some ‘Me time’ – does ‘Me time’ exist when you have a puppy? I don’t know, what are your thoughts?

Sitting down to finish Eastenders which had been paused on my computer, I took a deep breath in and thought ‘Oh God – I can smell shit’ – Gordon was walking round the living room looking a bit lighter so I went to his litter tray and sure enough, there were two nuggets waiting to be cleaned.

Got that out of the way, removed my thongs from Brutus’s mouth and swapped it for a rope toy and sat back down.

I breathed in again, bugger it – I could still smell shit, getting up towards the kitchen I could smell it even stronger and then I saw Brutus playing with something and Rocky was staring at him looking rather jealous. Glancing down I could see another large nugget of Gordon’s turd. Gordon gets them stuck to his bum sometimes and walks around like his arse is a Christmas tree with brown baubles on it, sometimes they get lucky and they fall off for me to pick up. That must have been what happened in this case.

Gordon sat on the chair nodding in smug fashion ‘Nice to know it can have it’s uses’ he said to Brutus as Brutus batted it towards the wall.

‘Oh Jesus Christ that is disgusting!’ I shouted and then immediately carried Brutus to put him in his crate for ‘time out’.

I went back to the offending turd and Rocky was about to start sniffing it and god forbid, even eat it. He used to have a penchant for cat shit but sort of grew out of it but I wonder if it was under his nose would he be able to refuse.

The horror in my voice must have shocked him as he shot across the living room as though that turd was on fire while Gordon was yelling ‘I dare ya to eat it!’

Rocky was duly dispatched to the laundry room with Brutus and after shredding his paper, Brutus is fast asleep and so is Gordon and anything to do with poo has been picked up and cleaned up.

I am so tired, it is one of those days where everyone in my house is naughty, if it can shit then it will, if stuff can be chewed then it will be.

I am beginning to wonder if it is a full moon and if Abdel comes home and takes a dump in my living room then I know it will be.

Now Cath – you had better not be laughing and I bet Cass is as well, I reckon this is karma, because yesterday I was laughing at Cass’s photos of the pups trashing her house and it made me giggle so this is payback.

Deep breaths – I am going to make a cup of tea, oh yes I am – don’t try and stop me. Brutus is fast asleep in his crate and I look at him and think how can something so cute be so naughty.

Later this evening…..

I was watching My Kitchen Rules with the delectable Manu for whom I have a strong garlic fetish for and I saw Gordon and Brutus by the door keeping watch.  I turned around and to look by the dining room table and realised that yet again I had misread the signals that Brutus gives when he needs the toilet as in he is more naughty than usual and wont settle which can be mistaken for a playful puppy.  For there by the table was a large turd steaming for all to see and appreciate should they want to.

‘I did that’ Brutus announced proudly, well there was no point in denying it really – you could almost see his name in it.

Over and out and a bit tired.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Brutus Update

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Brutus has taken to picking up lovely pieces of crunchy dirt and stuff and I only ever seem to catch him as he is happily at the end of crunching/swallowing whatever crap he has picked up and although I can open his mouth, I normally only find crunched up soil/grit and try as I might, I cannot get him out of the habit.

Please someone tell me this is normal behavior as Rocky was 5 months old when I got him and was never into that, he loved digging right from the word ‘go’.

So this morning I had a nicely cleaned out 2 litre plastic milk bottle and I removed the lid and put some puppy meal inside and gave it to Brutus. We used to do this with Rocky and enjoy watching him joyously run around the garden with a milk bottle in his mouth barking and then have to pick up the pieces afterwards.

Brutus was thrilled with his new toy and ran around the garden pushing it with his nose so that the biscuit fell out. Unaware that there was biscuit in the bottle, he didnt even see Rocky scooting behind him like a Dyson vacuum polishing up the puppy meal.

‘Ha ha ha, Derro Dog!’ Rocky yelled happily in between eating biscuit – as this was something we used to do for him, he knew exactly what was coming out of the milk bottle.

‘What are you eating you greedy bastard?’ Brutus shouted, his language already become ‘choice’ as Gordon and Rocky swear all the time.

‘Your biscuit – Derro Dog!’ Rocky smirked laughing, his new nickname for Brutus was ‘Derro Dog’.

Brutus bit his bottom lip, stopped for a minute and looked somewhat confused at where all the puppy meal was coming from. But the temptation got too much for him and he muttered ‘Bollocks’ and then carried on shoving the milk bottle noisily around the garden with Rocky continuing to scoot after him picking up the biscuit.

The noise was exceptionally loud and I had to shut the bedroom door as not to wake Abdel but I am sure the grating/scraping sound across the floor could be heard by the neighbours.

Toilet training – another dry night! Brutus actually woke me up yelping at 6.25am telling me that if I didn’t get to his crate pronto, he would piss the bed and not only would he piss the bed, but he would do cartwheels to spread it further. Rocky was snorting with laughter on his bed as he had dared the tiny puppy to say it, in fact Rocky is teaching him to swear as he finds it funny when Brutus swears in a puppy voice. A puppy voice for those of you that don’t know, is a high pitched cute ‘Babe – pig in the city’ kind of voice and the word ‘Bollocks’ sounds hilarious when said by a puppy.

I let Brutus out as one does not argue with a nearly toilet trained puppy with a foul mouth, not to mention the joys of finding a dry kennel, even if the paper has been shredded up by the lean mean shredding puppy machine.

Another bad habit Brutus has developed is once I have done a ‘turd run’ and picked up the shit in the garden which I like to do straight away, Brutus bounces up and down like a springbok and rips a hole in the bag so the turd sprinkles round the garden like a brown shower of shite.

‘Yippee!’ Brutus yells as he does it and Rocky claps from the side of the garden to encourage him ‘Go on Brutus, do it again!’ Rocky is reliving his puppy years through Brutus and is thoroughly enjoying it.

Aside from the crunching of various garden matter, ripping holes in turd bags, everything is going swimmingly.

Over and out from me

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013

Brutus Update

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ImageBrutus – on the mend

You may remember a blog entry I did about stress and Sjogrens syndrome and I mentioned that I had acquired a new puppy called Brutus, which was struck down with severe gastro which very nearly cost him his life.

Well Brutus now has his own Facebook page as he has many followers supporting his journey and progress and for those of you that are interested – here is the link to his page:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Pup-called-Brutus/429308250490560

I have had a request on here for a Brutus update and photographs, these are all on his Facebook page but I shall do a quick update on here.

Here is a photo of Brutus two nights before the gastro struck:

ImageChunky Brutus – just before the gastro struck

Brutus was admitted to Murdoch two days after this photo was taken, he stayed for one day, was admitted to Swan Veterinary Hospital, came out the next day when this photo was taken:

ImageSkeletal Brutus

He was then readmitted a few hours after being discharged from hospital where he spent the rest of the week – here is a photo of him in hospital:

ImageBrutus in hospital with severe gastro

Brutus finally came out of hospital on 9th March and has been home for a week, on Saturday 16th March he went to the vet for his vaccine as the first hadn’t taken and he weighed about 7.8kgs which is still underweight for him although each day he is looking better.

Here are some photographs that I took from over last weekend and this weekend – see the differences and changes in him:

ImageLook at my ribcage!

ImageRocky and Brutus

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ImageBrutus and his new ‘brother’ – Gordon

ImageBrutus at the vets waiting for his vaccine

ImageAm I a cat or a dog? (Brutus asks)

And finally, here is a photo that summarizes just how an older dog can guide a young pup and often teach them about life far better than their owners, I have cut and pasted an update I did on Facebook yesterday, it is about the relationship I have with Rocky as his owner and how although I thought I was doing what is best for him, the arrival of Brutus has taught me otherwise.

ImageRocky – Brutus’s guardian angel.

Dedicated to Rocky:

Today I realized that dog ownership often highlights issues that owners have with the relationship with their dogs and it often says an awful lot about the owner as well.

Rocky has been my ‘rock’ so to speak since we first got him. When I nearly lost my husband in a car crash, Rocky was the one consistent thing in my life, my husband was in hospital and I had been told to get his affairs in order and I remember sitting on the kitchen floor crying my eyes out so hard that I couldn’t breathe and the solid black body of my little kelpie dog pressing himself into me and washing my face – I will never forget it.

With each crisis that has been in our lives and trust me, in the 5 years we have lived in Australia, there have been many – health, legal, financial, bereavement, I shudder at remembering any of it, Rocky has been there and I too, wonder how I am still here – mentally and physically.

A year ago during a particularly financially difficult time when we came close to losing everything, I remember walking around Beeliar Wetlands with Rocky. He has hip dysplasia and I have severe joint issues from an auto immune disease. You should have seen the pair of us walking around Beeliar, both of us stiff as boards and of course you get halfway round and think ‘damn it, I shall have to complete it now’ and although Rocky looked horrified as he hates road work, he loyally kept up with me – his gait stiff as anything as I limped the 6km or so around the wetlands, we were like Forest Gump doing his long journey.

Rocky has been my best friend and I think with that intense dog/owner relationship that I have with him, I have rather unfairly and unknowingly (until now), taken away some of his ‘doggy-ness’ and stripped him of his normal canine behavior.

‘That dog is like your baby’ I have had said to me on so many occasions by child obsessed people. This I have to hotly deny because we have chosen NOT to have children. My animals are not the children we never had, having ones genitals stretched to 10cms never once appealed to me and I am sorry if that upsets people – I just don’t swing that way.

Yes, I love my animals and yes, having Brutus could be comparable to having a young child as I need eyes in the back of my head and let’s not even discuss toilet training and teething and sleepless nights.

But no, they are not children, and when you have come close to losing your partner – soul mate, when you have held your Mothers hand as she passed away, I can say now that there is no comparison for me. I love my animals dearly as you can tell and they will take priority over visitors but at the end of the day, I must stress that they are not children.

I will admit to humanizing Rocky and being more dependent on him than he is me. He is expressive, his face speaks volumes, so does Gordon’s – hell, I even ‘speak dog’ and make them talk, but then again so do many pet owners.

Rocky only tends to interact with other cattle/working dogs. before Brutus came to live with us, Rocky would happily sit in of an evening and smooch me on the sofa, washing my arms, or the sofa, or the wall – anything really and failing that, the cats ears were always clean.

Now Brutus is here, Rocky is somewhat distancing himself from me and becoming more of a dog and I am observing some traditional canine mannerisms and behavioral patterns that really do shoot the saying ‘I know my dog better than anyone’ into fresh air because no, we never really know our dogs, we domesticate them to a point, but no, we never truly know them because at the end of the day – wild is wild and you can take the dog out of the wild but you cant take the wild instincts out of the dog.

Today I took Rocky for a swim, Brutus had to stay behind as he only had his vaccine yesterday, so Abdel and I decided to go swimming with Rocky and Rocky did his usual swimming until exhausted, swallowing heaps of sea water and then yakking up and being reluctantly dragged from the water when we decided that an hour of solid swimming was quite enough thank you, besides, Abdel had to go to work.

I bathed Rocky in the garden and Brutus was washing the drops as they dripped off Rocky’s sopping black body – he looked like a shiny stag beetle – in fact my nickname for him is ‘beetle dog’.

I had bought Rocky a kangaroo hide chew which I had planned to give to him when Brutus wasn’t around. Trouble is, Rocky is a lazy bone eater – he still has a brand new hide chew from January but the kangaroo chew is much smaller and easier to eat. I have tried telling him that many a dog in Africa would be grateful for that bone but he tells me I am talking crap – which of course is quite plausible.

I had locked Brutus away in the laundry room and Rocky looked at the chew and said ‘Bollocks, I am not eating that’. Sighing, I let Brutus out and intended to pick up the chew, I was worried about Brutus trying to steal the chew as he is too young for stuff like that.

Rocky suddenly wanted the chew and curled his lip at Brutus, it wasn’t like ‘I am going to rip your face off’, it was a warning from a senior dog to the baby of the pack.

‘Piss off away from my bone’ Rocky said to Brutus. This is where it got interesting, Rocky never exhibits normal canine behaviors – why? because I have humanised him and made him the way he is – far too imprinted in a way he has forgotten how to act with other dogs.

‘Mum said I can have it!’ Brutus lied and then made steps to take the bone. Should I intervene? What would happen in the wild?

I sat there and did nothing, my heart pounding wondering if Rocky would hurt Brutus.

Brutus went nearer the bone and Rocky jumped up and really told him off – excuse the bad language but I can only relay it as it happened.

‘Get away from my bone you bastard!’ Rocky shouted, curling his lip up in a fine impression of of Elvis Presley (he used to curl his lip).

Rocky did a mock charge at Brutus while curling his lip, yelling at him to piss off and Brutus squeaked a high pitched squeak and went straight into submission. I saw for myself that Rocky did not actually touch him, but Brutus rolled on his back to say ‘sorry’ to Rocky.

The sneaky pup then went by the side of the coffee table with his rubber chicken in his mouth, laid the chicken by Rocky’s feet and then tried to swap it with the chew – I am being deadly serious.

Rocky did one more mock charge and that was enough to send Brutus on to the sofa, shaking like a girl while huddling up to Gordon, telling Gordon how awful it was. Gordon merely told him that stealing another dogs bones was akin to listening to Cliff Richard’s Millennium Prayer on replay and one should never ever do it. Brutus said he was sorry and Rocky as if to make a point of the Tenth Commandment ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal Other Dogs Bones’, ate the whole kangaroo chew, while watching Brutus, making one hell of a mess which I had to clean up.

I was so tempted to intervene because the whole scene made me uncomfortable but then I asked myself why, why did it make me uncomfortable?

It was normal canine behavior and pack hierarchal structure – dogs needed to learn their place, it isn’t just owner/dog boundaries that need to be set in the home, it is also canine boundaries as well and Brutus today learned that he cannot steal Rocky’s food until Rocky has eaten his fill and left scraps for him.

After Rocky had eaten his chew, there were lots of crumbs left on the bed, Brutus dutifully waited until Rocky had moved way and then jumped off the sofa, Rocky wagged his tail to the young pup and Brutus happily but rather submissively polished off the crumbs.

Once he had done that, he went up to Rocky swishing his long tail and cleaning round Rocky’s mouth and Rocky looked down at Brutus and licked one of his ears, gave a little tail wag and the pair of them carried on like nothing had happened.

And that is because nothing did happen – in their world anyway. It was just doggy stuff – we humans might not like it but it is their world and no matter how much we try and domesticate them, no matter how much we think that we know them, they are wild animals with very primal instincts just waiting to surface.

My dependency on Rocky was quite intense and in hindsight, not entirely fair. At first I felt guilty for Rocky as I had another puppy, a puppy that required a lot more attention but I should have given Rocky credit for how he would deal with it.

We can train/reprimand undesirable behaviors in our puppy’s/dogs but you know something? The best training for Brutus has come from Rocky himself.

When Brutus chews on Rocky, Rocky puts him in his place and Brutus very quickly has learned what he can and cannot do and what is acceptable.

Rocky now knows that there is competition for food and doesn’t piss about with his meals like he used to. Rocky has become a more proficient guard dog – although he is pretty on the ball now but now there is a puppy in his ‘pack’ to protect, he has gone up a notch.

My kelpie has changed, since the arrival of Brutus, he has gone from a childish 4.5 year old ex farm dog with some very babyish behaviors and some not so healthy acquired human ones, to an almost regal, mature, kind but assertive Kelpie that is far better in guiding this puppy than I could ever be. Don’t get me wrong, I do my best – you are all following me on this journey and I post with my heart but trust me, Rocky is much better at it.

So whilst I feel quite sad that I have sort of lost my good mate in so many ways, I am really proud of the dog he has become and if Brutus can learn half of what Rocky has to teach him, then we are going to be very lucky.

Humanizingyour dogs is one thing, but I have learned you have to allow dogs to be dogs, also watch their behaviour, watch them interact, watch how they sort out their differences and respect their ‘inner dog’.

So this entry is dedicated to Rocky, he has been where Brutus is now (we got him when he was about 5 months), he has chewed and destroyed a Palm tree, dug 4 feet under a retainer wall, eaten my entire CD collection, he has been there, he has supported me through the most traumatic times of my life and has been my best friend.

But now it is time for him to be a dog and enjoy being a dog, he is in the garden now with Brutus – both of them lying a few feet apart, both of them quiet, Brutus fast asleep and Rocky half asleep while keeping a watchful eye on the young pup that has barged into his life and prompting him to let his natural instincts take over.

As for me, well he is still my mate but now I have the pleasure of watching him become Brutus’s mate as well.

Let dogs be dogs.

And Finally…

Brutus is a puppy that is exhibiting normal puppy behavior and his reactions are guided by Rocky.  Donkey if you remember, was exhibiting dog aggressive behavior towards Rocky to the point he wouldn’t let Rocky even drink from his water bowl and could not be left alone with him.  Having been castrated quite late in life, he had developed some of the not so nice traits typical of an ‘entire dog’  If he was going to live with another adult male dog, it needed to be one that was big enough and strong enough to hold his own which Rocky isn’t.  Donkey was also not good at all with cats and both SAFE and I believed it would be at a huge risk to Gordon to keep him – we needed a dog that we could trust with out cat.

Brutus will be going to puppy group and training and is being de-sexed next week so won’t have chance to develop his sex hormones and ultimately undesirable behavior but I will stress that if you have any concerns about your dog exhibiting aggressive behavior towards other dogs, I would say take him to your vet to rule out illness and then take appropriate expert advice on where to go from there.

Samantha Rose (C) Copyright 2013