Dogs Do Lunch

 

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Chewy – all dressed up for the party!

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

When it comes to dog lovers, one thing that is abundantly clear and that is there certainly seems to be a market to cater for those of us that are mad about our dogs in terms of toys, clothes and anything pet related.

The latest thing to pop up in the suburbs are pet cafes that are aimed specifically for your dog, of course you are welcome to join but primarily they will cater for your dog and if you are lucky, there will be something nice for you on the menu as well.

Such cafes will sell a wide selection of clothes, treats, collars, leashes and toys, the food menu will have delights such as lasagna, biscuits and even custom-made birthday cakes – all made from healthy dog friendly ingredients.

Having never been to one of these doggy/pet cafes before, I had often wondered what they would be like to visit and had kind of assumed it would be good food for the dogs and distinctly below average food for the humans.

As far as scenery goes I could not even begin to guess how they would make a dog cafe so comfortable that the humans would want to frequent it too often.

Two of Brutus’s friends Cino and Starbuck were holding a joint birthday party at a dog cafe in Perth and Brutus had been invited and was pretty excited about the whole thing.

The venue was Furbaby Boutique and Cafe in Perth, Western Australia and although the other dogs in the gang had been before, Brutus and I had not.

The Furbaby Boutique and Cafe opened in Perth on Friday 26th December 2014 so as you can see it hasn’t been open that long but judging by how busy they are getting, you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise.

Starbuck and Cino’s birthday party – here is the guest list (sorry if I have missed anyone)

  • Cino
  • Apollo
  • Starbuck
  • Fletcher
  • Pippin
  • Bronte
  • Brutus
  • Poppy
  • Chewy
  • Woody
  • Lilly
  • Nora
  • Ciccio
  • Dash
  • Lupo
  • Nica
  • Dobby
  • Mako
  • Soobi
  • Rocco
  • Madam Gigi

The Day of the Party

Brutus was over excited at the thought of his first visit to the Furbaby cafe and was up super early to smooth down his whiskers and make himself smart for the event. He kept grabbing my car keys in an attempt to hurry me up and annoyed Rocky so much that Rocky had to hump his head in order to shut him up.

Rocky as you know is not good with other dogs and the amount of dogs going would be too much for him but that did not stop him feeling a bit left out and I had to heavily bribe him with a bone when I got back.

Brutus was so impatient that before I had even started the car he was asking if we were there yet.

‘We are going to Pippin Pringle’s house and getting a lift with Denise’ I told him firmly.

Brutus was to sit in the front with me in the foot-well while Pippin and Bronte sat in the back.

‘Pippin Pringle! I love him so much, I am SO excited, did I tell you I am excited?’ shouted Brutus.

‘I had gathered that Brutus’ I laughed as I drove out of the garden to start our journey.

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(Photograph by Sam Rose)

At Team Pringle’s House

On arrival at Pippin and Bronte’s house, we were welcomed by the fierce barks of the Italian greyhounds that sound like ‘Bup Bup’ kind of noise (ask Denise, she knows what I mean).

‘Brutus, is that you?’ Pippin shouted, absurdly excited that his giant friend had come round to his home.

‘Of course it is him silly, who else is that big in our gang?’ said Bronte impatiently.  It was true, there was no mistaking Brutus who resembled a small pony from behind the slats of the fence.

Brutus grinned as Pippin jumped all over him while Bronte felt a burning need to run around the garden and show Brutus her latest outfit in flirtatious fashion before taking a pee in the sand like a real lady.

‘Very nice Bronte’ Brutus blushed approvingly and then asked Pippin ‘I am so excited about today, we are going to have such fun, do they really do doggy food especially for dogs?’

‘Oh yes, they have doggy cakes, lasagna and everything!’ Pippin grinned and as Brutus drooled in festoons from his mouth, Pippin went on to tell him just how delicious the food at Furbaby’s is.

‘Come on kids, let’s get in the car’ Denise said firmly to the three dogs, ‘Pippin – you are in the back with Bronte and Brutus is in the front with Sam’.

Pippin looked mortified and also aware that he didn’t want to look like a wuss in front of his pal Brutus, blushed like the posh kid being told off in front of his mates.

‘But, but I always sit in the front’ Pippin faltered and then bit his lip to stop himself going ‘Full Pringle’ and bursting in to tears.

‘Brutus can sit in the back with me’ Bronte giggled.

‘No, he sits in the front.  Now Pippin get in the back now!’ Denise instructed him.

With his pointy snout virtually touching his chest, Pippin’s face went bright red as he tried hard to think about doggy lasagna to stop himself crying and looking like a girl.

‘Sorry’ Brutus mouthed to Pippin as he hung his head in shame while Denise securely fastened in his harness.

‘That’s OK’ Pippin mumbled.  Had it been anyone else Pippin would be sobbing by now but as it was Brutus, he had an image to keep up.

On Arrival at the Furbaby Boutique and Cafe

We were the first there from our group and I must say I was pretty impressed with what I saw.  The place was clean, tidy, bright and welcoming.

We had hired the ‘VID’ (Very Important Dog) area which was a secure fenced off Alfresco area especially for private functions.

In the public cafe area it was also lovely to see dogs on the leash as not all dogs like having other dogs running up to them and it was a delight to see owners having their dogs beside them enjoying their own treats.

Dog Cafes – through the eyes and mind of your dog

Enough of a human point of view, let us take a trip into the Furbaby cafe from the eyes of the dogs because it is far more fun.

The staff welcomed us as we walked into the shop part of the cafe and advised Denise and myself that the VID area would be opened at 10am for our group but in the meantime we could sit in the public area or browse the shop and as I had my heart set on buying something for Brutus, Denise and I decided to browse.

Everything you could want for your dog was on offer, collars, leashes, harnesses, clothes, even capes and a Batman costume to name but a few, toys, treats, bedding – the list goes on.

‘Mum, are you going to buy me some toys?’ Brutus shouted excitedly as Pippin and Bronte were eying up various items of clothing.  Although they have a wardrobe to rival Gucci but we shall say no more on that.

I had been keeping my eye on a Harley Davidson cap for Brutus and at first was not sure if the large size would fit him but as he has a strange shaped head, a large would have to do.  Having seen Francesca’s Iggy – Zara wearing hers, I was convinced it would be perfect for Brutus.

Carefully placing it on his head, I stood back to admire Brutus.  With a large snout like well nourished leather, deep red/brown eyes, I thought he looked very nice in his hat.

‘Are you serious, I am NOT wearing that!’ Brutus cried while blushing furiously as Pippin snorted with laughter.

‘Oh my god you SO look like an extra from the Village People!’ Pippin barked while Bronte was a little more mischievous and started singing and dancing to ‘YMCA’.

10404852_844892512248829_1231344596190812741_nBrutus in his Harley Davidson cap – ‘Don’t make me wear it Mum’

(Photograph by Denise Pringle)

‘If you buy me this I shall never speak to you again’ Brutus threatened.

‘Hello there big boy!’ A small but chunky Jack Russell with large genitals smirked at Brutus and then winked at him.

‘Thank you I will take it!’ I smiled and dragged a reluctant Brutus to the counter to pay for the hat as the girls in the shop admired him wearing it.

‘My life is over, totally over, I may as well be dead’ Brutus howled as I paid for the hat.

But the dramatics were short-lived as when he was led outside to the VID area and Poppy the Chinese crested who had arrived, saw him and told him how handsome he looked. Brutus decided that perhaps he did not look too bad at all and started to wear the hat ‘like a boss’.

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Poppy admires Brutus – wearing it like a boss

(Photograph by Tanya Bennett)

The Social Set of Dogs

If you ever get the chance, observe your dog when he/she greets his friends because if you listen carefully then you will be privilege to their social lives and that is what it is – a privilege.

Anyway, a few of us were now in the VID area that we had reserved, Brutus and Poppy were catching up and discussing food.  Totally beside himself Brutus simply could not decide what to have from the menu.  I hadn’t told him that I was not ordering dog stuff for him and that he would be sharing my breakfast as the slightest change in his diet can turn him into gastro-pup and I know he can tolerate a small bit of sausage and some gluten-free bread.

‘I shan’t eat much, I have to watch my figure you know’ Poppy said pointedly to Brutus who totally missed the hint, ‘I said I have to watch my figure you know, I am SO fat’ Poppy added in a loud voice and then fretfully grabbed a leaf from the ground and started to eat it as if to prove a point.

Poppy stared at her slender non-existent belly and waited for Brutus to say ‘Oh you are not fat, you are just perfect’ but Brutus has never been one to ‘talk female’ and just didn’t take the hint.

It was down to Pippin to sharply elbow Brutus in the ribs before he got the gist of the conversation and stuttered ‘Oh no Poppy, you are perfect the way you are’ while Bronte nodded her head quickly in agreement.  After all it is a girl solidarity thing that they must all agree on the weight issue and throw in the obligatory placating comments.

Satisfied that she was absolutely perfect, Poppy happily trotted off to talk to Madam Gigi about the latest in glitter collar designs.

Suddenly the gate to the VID area opened and standing there like Danny De Vito on a power trip was Chewy.  A big dog in a little dogs clothing, Chewy stood there in all of his red hairy glory whilst proudly sporting a purple patterned tie.

Waiting for a few seconds until everyone had seen him, Chew barked loudly ‘I am here, you can relax now!’

11096433_10152811819433317_9032761375785145492_nChewy –  his beautiful coat makes an entrance before he does

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Chewy darling! You are here!’ Poppy cried and then went to air-kiss him and tell him how marvellous he was.  Brutus was a little more restrained and offered Chewy is back in case Chewy wanted to hump him.

Pretty soon everyone had arrived and the party was underway.  The humans had ordered food for their pets and for themselves and I was in for a surprise when my food arrived.

Having ordered a cooked breakfast, I can tell you it was delicious.  The presentation was great, there was enough food at a reasonable price and the food itself was tasty so what more could you want?

The amusing thing about ordering food from a dog cafe is that whatever you may have ordered for your dogs, they also believe what you have ordered for yourself is theirs by rights.

‘Is that my bacon and sausage on that plate?’ Brutus asked and before I could answer, Pippin and Mako had gathered round and had made claims of ownership to my bacon.  I had managed to eat a good part of it while fending the dogs off but as I had promised Brutus some of my bacon, then I had to honour it of course.

Unfortunately, according to Pippin and Mako by promising Brutus some bacon, I had promised them by default.

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Is that bacon I can taste in your mouth?

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘Brutus, stand still – I need to get that bacon’ Pippin said firmly and then in one swift agile movement, Pippin had jumped on top of Brutus’s back like a mountain goat, using him as a step-ladder to lean over the table for a piece of MY bacon.

‘It’s my turn Pippin!’ Dash appeared from nowhere growling impatiently as Brutus stood there while the two Iggies attempted to stand on his back – there certainly was room on him for both of them.  Standing as still as he possibly could like a good boy, Brutus allowed the Iggies to use him as a chair

‘Thanks Brutus’ Pippin grinned as he jumped down with a piece of bacon in his mouth and some ketchup on his pointy snout.

‘Yeah thanks Brutus’ Dash added and then ran off before Starbuck could nip his bottom for having legs long enough to even jump on top of Brutus in the first place.

Despite having Iggies use him as a platform for food opportunities, Brutus was checking out the remainder of the bacon on the plate while trying very hard not to drool because he wanted some so badly.

‘Here you go Brutus’ I smiled at him and gave him a large slice of bacon from my plate just in time for Starbuck to jump up and snatch it from his mouth and run off with it with Poppy in hot pursuit yelling to ‘not be so bloody greedy’.

Looking as though someone had bashed him, Brutus stared at me with a confused expression on his face and said ‘Where did my bacon go?’.

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Brutus – where did my bacon go?

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

It was a good job I had some more but we had to be quick about it as there were a few pointy snouts including Pippin Pringle’s, hanging around ready to take advantage of Brutus and rob him of it.

Dogs squabbling between them and then hiding under/behind Brutus for protection

As with any doggy function there is often a bit of squabbling over toys, leaves, invisible stuff.  Dogs get tired and burst into tears and bitches get tired of dogs sniffing their bums and will snap back to put them in their place.

‘Will you leave my bum alone, I have told you several times before that you can’t sniff it until I say so!’ Bronte growled at Dash.

Meanwhile Nica absolutely did not want to play rough and tumble with the others on the floor and had insisted that she was carried around everywhere to be petted by each and every person at the table who told her how gorgeous she looked.

Woody with his stealth like ability to get woman’s perfume all over him by loaning himself out to every female at the table, had totally exhausted himself and had lost count as to who he had cuddled and who he hadn’t.

Dobby, Olive and Soobi were chasing each other round the table and looked like something out of a Benny Hill sketch as Soobi ran after the girls and tripped over his own legs.

Mako was on his Mum’s knee whilst admiring Brutus and was involved in some mutual jowl washing.  Brutus was simply delighting the fact that the little Iggy was happy to have Brutus clean his snout and vice versa, although Brutus’s tongue was almost longer than Mako’s head.

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Mako blesses Brutus with a mighty paw

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Soobi was a bit obsessed with Mako and wanted to play a professional game of ‘Bitey Face’ and was quite relentless in his mission to do so.

‘If you don’t leave me alone I shall get cross!’ Mako yelled and then tried to look tough which was not happening as the moment was totally ruined because Brutus washed the anger off Mako’s face like a wet face cloth.

As the dogs squabbled between them, they used Brutus to their full advantage by hiding under him, behind him and even on top of him.  Rocco even suggested that Brutus could be made into a giant Iggy that they could use for camouflage if ever they needed to hide.

The significance of humping

Soobi had decided to hump everything and was quite proud of himself because he had started one big humping-train which is where dogs all jostle for pack position and it is rarely sexual, except in Pippin Pringle’s case and he loves boy dogs but that is another story.

‘Will you keep still Brutus!’ Soobi barked at the big brown dog who had even lowered his head so that Soobi could reach it to hump it.

Like a child full of sugar, Soobi spoke fast and in excited fashion as clumsily tried to hump Brutus’s head which probably weighed more than he did.

Dash had mounted Soobi’s bottom and at the end of Dash was Chewy looking mighty fine in his ‘pantaloons’ and a purple tie around his neck.  It was a humping-train and there was no other word for it and Brutus’s head was at one end and Chewy’s bottom at the other.

‘It’s called Going Roman’ Pippin said confidently to Poppy the Chinese crested who was shaking her beautiful head in horror while Bronte just looked utterly bored with the whole thing as she had to watch Pippin do it at every Iggy meet and often with his invisible friends in the garden.

‘They are just showing off as they have longer legs than me’ Starbucks said fretfully and then gobbled up a bit of lettuce she found on the floor.

There was nothing we owners could do except to watch and laugh of course, because it really was that funny.

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Let’s talk about ‘going Roman’ 

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Of course the staff at Furbaby are privy to this kind of stuff every day.  I am sure that they ‘speak dog’ and get to see rowdy dogs enjoying their birthday parties and getting a bit raucous.  They just took it all in their stride which is just as well for what I saw next.

It was one of those moments where I was not taking notice of anything, just observing the dogs all enjoying themselves and ‘partying’.  I happened to glance round to the door to the kitchen where the staff come out with a plate of food when I saw Dash come running out behind them – completely unseen by anyone except for me.

He looked quite pumped and proud of himself and just blended in between whoever was walking out of the door and then he ran off and hid behind the table with ‘guilt’ written all over his face.

‘Did you see that? Dash has just come out of the kitchen!’ I yelled to everyone.  All eyes were on Dash who was no blushing and shrugging his shoulders while mouthing ‘Who me? Don’t know what you are talking about’.

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Brutus knows why Dash was in the kitchen – but he ain’t telling!

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Nobody knows to this day how long Dash had been in the kitchen, or if the staff saw him, or what he got up to.  No-one except for the other Iggies and they have taken a vow of silence to protect their own.

But rumours have it and I don’t know who started them, that in the time that Dash was in the kitchen, he ate like a King, vomited like Nica and ate it like Brutus.  Others say that ‘Dash was here – 2015’ was scraped on the wall by the food cupboard in the kitchen, but how true that is, is anyone’s guess.

Anyway, when the Iggies had got bored with playing with each other, they decided that Brutus would make a very good toy and they would all play with him instead.  Because Brutus is so big and doesn’t know his own strength, he has to stay on the leash which is often hard for him as he would love to play with the Iggies off the leash.

Brutus and Dash were enjoying each others company as they had formed a ‘brotherhood’ kind of thing or you could say ‘bro-mance’ and it was wonderful to watch.

‘I love you bro, seriously I totally love you’ Dash said to Brutus as he hugged him.

‘Love you back man, you are my bro, can you teach me to cock my leg like a big boy?’ Brutus replied.

‘Honoured man, totally honoured’ Dash barked and carried on hugging him.  It was their moment and I just had to photograph it.

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Dash and Brutus – ‘Bro-mance’

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

‘It’s my turn to play with Brutus!’ Mako shouted, followed by Soobi who had already started to play ‘bitey face’ on Brutus’s flappy jowls.

Brutus was so happy, he loves his friends and doesn’t feel quite so ‘special’ when they all include him.

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Brutus loves his friends

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Like a little child that is unable to play with the other kids, he will stare wistfully at the other dogs, longing to play with them. He doesn’t mean to be clumsy and uncoordinated and can’t help his appearance.

People have crossed the road to avoid him because of how he looks but he really is a very kind and gentle, submissive male with a tendency to make himself as small as possible to fit in with his group.

So having all of these Iggies pay him attention made his heart burst with pride, well except for Soobi humping his head and that was just embarrassing for Brutus as only Rocky is allowed to do that, even if he does have to stand on a plant pot in order to do it with his bad hips clicking like fingers.

Rocky on macbook

Rocky – the main humper of Brutus

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

The arrival of the cake – dogs all excited and squealing for cake

The arrival of the birthday cake caused a huge amount of excitement with Nica threatening to vomit up whatever she ate purely to show off.

‘Oh my god, it’s doggy birthday cake! ‘ Brutus gasped and then added ‘It is amazing, look Mum, look at the cake!’.

I had no heart to tell him that he wouldn’t be getting an actual piece but he could have one of the biscuit bones on the top of it.

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Doggy birthday cake – enough for all!

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Wagging tails circling around like the propellers of a helicopter, bums wriggling, happy dogs all excited at the thought of a piece of the magnificent cake that was put in front of them.  Each and every dog thought that the cake was there just for them.

‘I do believe that is all mine’ Rocco said firmly.

‘In your dreams, it is mine’ Poppy snapped at him.

‘I beg to differ here, Chewy and I have decided to share that’ Starbuck said under her breath.

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Starbuck – that cake is mine!

(Photograph by Sam Rose – 2014)

‘Excuse me, but I am the one with the iPad and the mobile phone collection, it is mine!’ Pippin shouted, his eyes threatening to cry at the thought of him not getting the lions share of the cake.

Well none of the dogs need have worried as there was not only more than enough to go round but plenty leftover as well for other dogs.

Soobi, Olive, Lilly, Dobby, Ciccio, Woody, Apollo, Fletcher, Nora, Dobby and Lupo were enjoying a bit of a food fight and had started to throw bits of sponge at one another.

‘Excuse me, but could you not throw sponge at my coat!’ Chewy barked angrily.  Being very proud of his coat, there was nothing worse than cream and sponge once it had set.

‘Oh not to worry Chewy, I can get that out for you’ Poppy said happily and then started to clean bits of sponge from Chewy’s coat.

‘This is the best day ever!’ Brutus said to me.  With some tomato sauce still on his face and some crumbs from the bone shaped biscuit from the cake, I have never seen him look so happy.

Rocco and his outbursts

Rocco who as you know struggles with what I can only describe as doggy Tourettes, had  been trying ever so hard to keep his outbursts under control.

IMG_9290Rocco – argues with himself

(Photograph by Sam Rose – 2014)

Having previously had some bitter fights with his invisible friends and fights that involved dreadful language and growling, Rocco had promised himself that for this birthday party he would be a good boy.

But as we all know Rocco, his potty mouth sometimes gets the better of him, especially if he gets tired.

It was all going very well as Rocco was being carried around the venue and sat happily in his Mums arms while being taken round to say ‘hello’ to everyone.

‘Good afternoon, very pleased to meet you’ Rocco said politely to every person and every Iggy that he greeted.

‘Bloody hell, what has happened to him?’ Bronte whispered to Pippin who had stopped humping his invisible friend and stared at Rocco.

‘How has your day been?’ Rocco asked each dog/person and nodded sweetly like a gentle old man.  Even Gigi and Nica stopped talking about dog clothes and stared at him as though he had two heads or something.

‘That is not Rocco, it can’t be – someone has swapped him’ Woody said to Fletch who looked just as confused.

‘Why are you talking like Prince William?’ Olive demanded.

‘I am NOT talking like Prince William’ Rocco replied indignantly.

‘Oh my god, you so are! He is SO talking like Prince William!’ Olive squeaked loudly.

‘No I am not, I am trying to be polite and talk in the Queens English, you should try it some time’ Rocco said in a hurt voice and then sat in his Mums arms looking as though his pride had been punched.

‘He will never be able to keep this up, no way’ Pippin whispered to Brutus.

‘Five bucks says he can’ Brutus challenged Pippin.

‘You’re on – so say goodbye to your money Brutus’ Pippin laughed.

Girls – you just can’t understand them

Poppy who has told Brutus off a few times for ‘getting a bit fresh’ had decided that at the party, she was going to claim him for herself and was shamelessly flirting with him.  It was not one sided either as Brutus had developed a crush on her quite some time ago and had a few of her Facebook photographs saved in his kennel.

‘Brutus, do you like my feathering on my tail and ears?’ Poppy giggled and then walked right up to his snout to invite him to sniff her face.

Brutus still blushes if girls flirt directly with him but was aware that Pippin, Cino, Dash, Apollo and Woody were all staring at him in admiration and giving him the ‘thumbs up’ and shouting ‘Go on my son!’.

Rocco was pretending not to care and was still wearing his sensible expression which occasionally was betrayed by his facial muscles twitching as he fought to swallow the swear words that threatened to escape from his mouth.

Suddenly Poppy spotted a bit of food on the floor and went to get it and Starbuck also saw it and felt that she too should have it.

‘Give that back to me, I saw it first!’ Poppy growled as Starbuck replied ‘No way, it is MINE!’.

Suddenly both dogs were arguing over the tiniest bit of food as Starbuck jumped on top of Poppy and called her a ‘bitch’ and threatened to pull her hair while Poppy squealed back and said ‘You are so fat, you don’t need that food!’.

As quickly as it started it all ended and both girls were separated as Starbuck was carried off sobbing to her Mum ‘Mum, am I really fat?’ and no amount of placating could convince her that she wasn’t and she would go on the Bonio Diet right away.

Poppy sat on her Mum’s knee crying ‘I saw it first and I need it the most’ as Brutus stared at her sympathetically and vowed to wash her tears away later.

‘Women’ Pippin sighed at Rocco, ‘I just don’t understand them Rocco’.

Rocco who had witnessed the whole thing, replied ‘Jolly right old chap’ and then rested his head on his Mums arms while Gigi choked on her ‘pup-o-cino’ at Rocco sounding more like Prince William by the second.

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Chewy and the boys just don’t get women

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Waste not want not

Soon the argument between the girls was forgotten and food was back in the minds of the dogs – if it ever disappeared in the first place.

Brutus had a piece of my mushroom and in his usual disgusting style, he had chewed the mushroom in his mouth a few times and then spat it out on the floor and before I had chance to pick it up, Starbuck was back on the scene and quickly ate it.  ‘Waste not want not’ She nodded firmly as the other dogs all nodded in agreement.

I pee, you pee, we all pee – the laws of dog urination

Part of the fun of any dog gathering is the opportunity to cock the leg or squat and generally spread ones piss around the venue.

Furbaby are really on the ball with this and full cleaning facilities are available to owners to clean up after their pets but it seems the more you clean up their pee, the bigger the challenge to do another one.

‘If you piss on that wall, I shall piss on it and then you will be sorry’ Mako said to Apollo.

‘Yeah, and if you piss on my piss, I shall piss on your piss and then it will be YOU who is sorry’ Apollo growled back.

‘I shall piss until there is no more piss in my body and even then, I shall do invisible piss’ Pippin added to the conversation and to prove a point, he tried to empty his already empty bladder to show to Mako and Apollo that he could piss with the best of them.

‘I can beat that’ Bronte grinned and squatted to make her mark, she was shortly followed by Starbuck and Poppy while Gigi and Nica decided that they could not be bothered and sat with Lilly to discuss how rude it all was.

But I guess we shall never understand the delights of the doggy urination club and how marvellous it must be for them to leave their ‘perfume/aftershave’ for another dog that says ‘I was here’ or simply ‘Piss off’.

Welcome back Rocco

‘I think it was a jolly nice day today’ Said Pippin his ‘BBC English’ type accent, ‘I declare it a total success’.

‘I declare Dash getting into the kitchen unnoticed an even bigger success’ Apollo and Ciccio laughed.

Fletch and Woody were still in heated discussions as to whether or not they too could get into the kitchen while little Mako said he much preferred to stand on Brutus’s back for bacon.

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The dogs declare the day a success

(Photograph by Sam Rose)

Rocco who was on the floor and circling round looking for a good spot to pee had caught the attention of Dash.

‘Rocco, now you are speaking like Prince William, would you like to give a Royal speech?’ Dash asked Rocco with a big grin on his face.

Looking up at Dash, Rocco puffed his chest up and took a deep breath and replied in a posh voice ‘Bollocks, that is all I have to say on the matter’ and then started to attack his invisible friend and call it a ‘bastard’.

‘I guess I owe you five bucks’ Brutus laughed to Pippin.

‘I guess you do’ Pippin replied smugly.

‘Rocco is back’ Bronte laughed to Gigi who smiled happily and one by one, the dogs all clapped because Rocco being posh, is just not Rocco at all.

Home Time

Soon it was time to go home and the sound of high-pitched Iggy voices filled the air. The female dogs air-kissed and Gigi could be heard saying ‘Catch up soon darling’ to Nica.

Olive was using ‘teen-talk’ to Bronte and saying things like ‘Oh my god, that is SO totes adorbs’ and ‘Snap Chat me’.

The boys shuffled around and looked uncomfortable at the thought of going back to their respective homes. After all, who wants to leave the party when they have had so much fun and games?

‘I don’t want to go home’ Brutus said in a sulky voice as he looked around at the leftover cake, puddles of urine that had lovingly been forced out of every dogs bladder – just to prove they had been there, a bit like the doggy version of graffiti I suppose.

‘Nor do I’ Apollo sighed.

‘We have internet, we could all chat about it tonight and discuss the days events!’ Olive piped up.

‘That’s true’ Fletch said and the others all nodded their heads.

Then as if by magic they all remembered the marvels of modern technology, Facebook and Skype and realised that they could easily meet up that night in Cyber land.

The Iggies happily wagged their tails as their owners clipped their leashes to their collars or picked them up to be carried to their cars.

Brutus always gets jealous of the Iggies that get carried to their cars and would dearly love me to carry him but we all know that will never happen – not at 29 kgs and a pile of long legs anyway.

‘Mum, can you carry me to the car like the other Iggies?’ Brutus cried and then pointed his head in the direction of Rocco who was being held by his Mum.

‘No Brutus, you are too big to be carried’ I told him firmly.

‘So not fair, I can’t help it if I am big – stop picking on me because I am big’ Brutus grumbled under his breath and started to purposely drag his feet to the gate in protest like a naughty toddler, causing his nails to scrape on the concrete.

And soon the VID area was empty with the only trace of our party being the doggy graffiti in the form of pee on every post and that my friends; in dog language screams ‘The Italian Greyhound Club of Western Australia were here and we loved it’.

The End

Thanks and Acknowledgements

Thank you to Cino and Starbuck’s owners for the wonderful birthday party and inviting us all and to Furbaby Boutique and Cafe in Perth for such a fabulous venue, excellent staff and great food and hospitality and of course that lovely cake.

Copyright (C) Samantha Rose May 2015

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